My Journey to Personal Prosperity

I couldn’t put a finger on it. It was illusive, whilst simultaneously tangible. Sometimes it was present, other times it wasn’t. What was it? Why did it sometimes feel so exhilarating and other times so agonising? My journey with this at times friend, but mostly foe goes back as far as I can remember.

For most of my life, through my varying ages and stages, I felt there was something missing - a void - but that if I tried hard enough, was a ‘good’ girl, morphed who I was to please others, didn’t rock the boat, was disciplined and rigorous enough, I would at some point be rewarded with ‘it’, never really knowing what this endless pursuit was in aid of. This pursuit led me to seek out and attract relationships that were harsh, critical, undermining and judgmental. It drove me to abuse my body relentlessly, and my inner world of torment mirrored what I attracted and believed I deserved!! It is now with hindsight that I reflect on these years with mixed feelings. On the one hand with gratitude for the lessons learnt, but on the other hand a sadness that it was I who brought this upon myself.

It has only been in the past few years that I have slowly experienced a very different way of being with myself and others. I now refer to this as harnessing personal prosperity. The process has been gradual, much like the warmth of bright sunlight slowly seeping into and filling the void, from my tippy toes to the top of my head. And I do still experience days when clouds linger...

I have realised ‘it’ didn’t exist. Well, not in the way I had been trying to create it, nor where I fantasised I would find it. This illusive ‘it’ was with me all the time. When I was emotionally and mentally exhausted, tired of chasing, fighting, fleeing, ‘it’ gradually started to show up. I realised ‘it’ was me, standing by, patiently waiting for me to become still for long enough to listen, reach out and connect.

‘It’ had been there all along, covered in layers of grime, afraid to show up lest she was laughed at, judged, rejected or ridiculed. It was then that I began to understand I had put myself through this torture, it had been self-imposed all along. It was shaped and influenced by what I believed about myself; the quality of connection I had with myself.

Who do I need to become?

My story of connection is not a solo story.

My darling husband and life partner who showed me that true connection is what unconditional love looks and feels like - entering into this space with another human who allows you to be your best and your worst and loves you regardless is indeed a priceless gift.

I hope my story will inspire you to join me on your own voyage into unearthing the magic of connecting with yourself, your loved ones and the wondrous world around you, to find your own path to prosperity.