LISTEN IN

FROM "HUH?" TO "HOORAY!"

Often, people use the word "hear" and "listen" interchangeably, but these are actually super-different. Hearing is to some degree involuntary—whether you want them to or not, your ears process the sound of that screaming baby on the plane, your neighbor's music blasting, or your pug snoring beside you all night long. Those sound waves enter your ears, turn into nerve impulses, and get processed in your cortex.

Listening, on the other hand (or perhaps the other ear), is a much more complex process. To truly listen, you need to use your mind, not only your cortex. Unlike passive hearing, listening is active.

Rather than an afterthought, listening is a vital component of public speaking. True communication necessitates a speaker, offering orations, and an audience, there to comprehend the words uttered. Both are vital components of the equation.

There are many types of speeches, so there are many "flavors" of listening, which include:

• Informational listening, which is performed in order to gather data. These listening skills come in handy when you have to listen to a lecturer or figure out which train stop to get off.

• Critical listening, which goes beyond informational listening to engage more fully with the speech, analyzing it and perhaps even questioning the points made, as one would when listening to a debate opponent.

• Appreciative listening, which allows you to enjoy your favorite shows and music. This involves listening purposefully in order to enjoy something, like when you buy tickets to see your favorite band or comedian.

• Relational listening, or the kind, comforting ear we lend our friends and family to foster our relationships. Your best buds tend to have good relational listening skills—they truly understand the spat you had with your spouse and are willing to listen to your latest rant about this week's episode of The Bachelor.

Hearing is a bodily, automatic sort of activity, but listening is a thoughtful, intellectual, aesthetic, emotional pursuit.

Being able to understand what has been said and react to it appropriately has myriad benefits. It could improve your job performance, help you ace that quiz, strengthen your relationships, and even make life more fun (if you pick the right entertainment).

Listening 1, 2, 3

Now that you're primed to become the next Listening Champion of the Universe, how should you go about it? There are three primary ingredients to excellent listening:

1. Observation. Some argue that listening is done with both the ears and the eyes, because the audience must watch for visual cues to fully understand a speech. True listening requires attention and awareness. You can't be dozing off during a lecture, daydreaming while your partner discusses their day, or dawdling when you should be thinking critically about a talk. To be a great listener, you need to be present, take note, and experience the oration.

   • Example: Westworld. If you aren't actually paying attention, you might not ever figure out the plot. "Who's a robot? Who's not? What year is it?"

2. Outlook. Perspective is key to Top Level Listening. If you think your professor's lecture is useless, the music is boring, or your partner's day is dull, you won't listen well. If you decide that what you're hearing is important, your listening skills will instantly increase. To improve your listening game even further, you can then determine your own perspective on what's being discussed and share your outlook with others.

   • Example: Calculus. If you decide it's the Worst Math Class Ever and the Work of Satan, you probably won't even hear your professor explaining how to solve that integral over your internal whining.

3. Openness. Speeches can contain many twists and turns. One of the great joys of drama is that we don't know what a character might do next. Great symphonies swell and decrescendo through emotions. Even academic lectures jump from one point to a seemingly unrelated conclusion. With active observation and the right outlook, you might still be caught off guard and pulled out of proper listening if you aren't adaptable. You must be open and ready to roll with surprises.

   • Example: Every M. Night Shyamalan movie. Ever. Need we say more?

What Not To Do

Now that we've shown you how to listen effectively, we'll explain how not to listen (kind of like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but with less jaunty rom-com involved). The three obstacles to effective listening are:

1. Jumping to conclusions. If you're using your new Pro Public Speaking skills to critique the speaker, noting every mumble and stumble, you won't actually listen to what he or she has to say. If you want to benefit from a speech, leave the judgments to Judy.

2. Jumping ahead. You might think you're listening in Expert Mode if you're going all Sherlock Holmes on every sentence, trying to anticipate the next one before it happens. However, playing with predictions can actually worsen your listening abilities because you don't pay attention to the speech as it's happening. The best way to understand what's being uttered is to stay in the moment.

3. Jumping for joy (or any other emotion). Great speeches evoke emotions, and, often, orators speak about controversial concepts (you know, politics, finance, religion, whether or not that dress was white and gold or blue and black). While you might feel happy, sad, angry, irritated, or many other things about what a speaker is saying, it's important to keep listening until the end of his or her speech. If you focus on your gut reactions, you might miss important points. Once the speech is over, feel free to raise your fist in rage, sob, laugh hysterically, or hug the speaker (people might give you odd looks, but no one could say you didn't listen well).

Knowing what these hurdles are can help you jump right over them.

Next Level Listening

How can you take your listening skills from good to great? Overachieving listeners can use a few strategies to further enhance their abilities.

Our advice to you is:

• Be prepared. Take your cues from The Lion King's Scar and the Boy Scouts: it helps to plan ahead. Know the topic of the speech beforehand, learn about the speaker, and do your homework.

• Defeat distraction. If you know what tends to take your attention off of the speech at hand, avoid it. For example, if you're too tempted to stalk your ex on Facebook, opt not to bring your laptop or smartphone to the event. Don't sit right next to that guy you've been crushing on. Stop listening to "This American Life" when your friend comes in to tell you about her day.

• Annotate. Your friends and family might be a little weirded out if you keep a diary of your conversations, but for school- or work-related public speaking events, definitely whip out your pen and paper. Taking notes can help you become more engaged in what you're listening to and remember it better.

• Respect. That's right: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. This is a good approach to both listening and life. You can comprehend what someone is discussing without agreeing. Recognize that the speaker has put effort into their presentation and treat them with the respect you want when it's your turn.

If you make sure to implement these strategies, you can become as good at listening as you now are at public speaking.