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Everyone makes mistakes…it's just that some mistakes are wetter than others. (Source)
Think fast: what's the worst mistake you've ever made?
Maybe it was one of the following:
Opting to try the special at your favorite restaurant instead of going with your usual standby…then getting food poisoning that left you prone on the bathroom floor for over twenty-four hours.
Breaking up with your high school love because you felt too overwhelmed with school and life to have a significant other, then never finding another person who "got" you like they did.
Letting your BFF talk you into getting a haircut called "The Salamander." We'll just leave it at that.
People make mistakes; as they say, "to err is human" (Source).
The nice thing about screwing up, though, is that you're trying. If you never try anything, you can't possibly mess it up in the process. This might sound pretty great to some people who are petrified by the idea of embarrassment or failure, but it's not natural or healthy for a person to live inside a figurative little box of existence and never try anything new or unusual the normal routine.
When it comes to public speaking, blunders and bloopers abound. We're going to transcend the discussion about messing up and forge ahead into how you deal with mistakes and let go of any notions of perfectionism you may be entertaining.
Not that they're anything wrong with wanting to be perfect all of the time, per se. You just can't let this sort of ideology dictate your actions, or else you'll wind up pretty miserable. Rest assured that when it comes to life's major gaffes, we all make them. You're far from alone in the mistake-making category. Embrace your imperfect self and hang on for the ride.
WHERE'S MY ERASER?
By this point in your life, you know that there are all sorts of people.
Some of us are super laidback and easy-going; if we make a mistake, we laugh it off and move on with life. Within moments, there's not even a thought about what happened and if you ask us how our day went, we'd only tell you about the good stuff.
But then there are others among us who strive for perfection at every single turn in life. We agonize over our appearance, our grades, and our job performance; we're exceptionally hard on ourselves when we make a mistake, and dwell on the error for much longer than is needed. If someone asks about our day on a day that we mess something up, we're liable to launch into a lengthy diatribe bemoaning our very existence…and probably the universe at large.
In this case, we can all take a lesson from the first type of person. People make mistakes. It's as simple as that. And once we can all recognize and embrace this fact, the happier we can be when the inevitable slip-up happens to us.
In the realm of public speaking, it's essential that we learn to laugh at ourselves and look at every mistake as a chance to learn, grow, and become a stronger public speaker. Easier said than done? For some of us, absolutely.
Check out "Why it's Incredibly Important to Learn to Laugh at Yourself," to see a short list of some wildly successful public figures who've learned the fine art of laughing at yourself (and maybe a little bit at those haters, as well).
Next on the docket, we're going to read "5 Ways to Let Go of Perfectionism and Still Excel at Anything," by former television producer and writer Vee Somphon.
Somphon defines what perfectionism is (as well as what it isn't), discusses how this sort of mentality can be detrimental to one's life, and suggests five tips for ways to live life without letting perfectionism take the wheel all of the time.
As you're reading, consider the following questions:
How much of a perfectionist would you consider yourself to be? Why?
Do you think you're more easygoing or more strict with yourself when it comes to making mistakes
How easy is it for you to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake?
If you're not a self-proclaimed perfectionist, some of this info might not apply to you. But it's good to read it, anyhow, as you never know when perfectionist tendencies might sneak up on you.
NO NUDITY? NO PROBLEM
Now that we've all got some basic understanding about how to deal with our mistakes, laugh at ourselves, and throw out antiquated and unhelpful ideas about perfectionism, we're going to check back in with Berkun.
Chapter 1: "I can't see you naked," begins with Berkun stuck on a long flight with a chatty seatmate, and describes his torturous process of having to explain to strangers what he does for a living. He goes on to discuss his personal experiences with being a public speaker and spends some time reiterating what we've been telling you: people make mistakes and perfectionism will only make you miserable.
Read this whole chapter (it's about ten pages long) and consider the candor with which Berkun discusses his life as a public speaker. He's a bestselling author and gets paid to fly around the globe, giving speeches and, well, giving speeches.
And he screws up all of the time and he knows it. It's the manner by which Berkun handles his mistakes that's worth reading.
CPS ch 1.pdfThat's All Folks
That's All Folks
Are you convinced? You can give up your perfectionist tendencies and move on with life?
Okay, even if you're not ready for that much of a change, you now have a stronger understanding of how people out there in the world handle their own faux pas and still go on to have long, happy, successful lives. Which might help to convince you to put away at least some of those old ways.
Public speaking is terrifying because you're intentionally putting yourself in front of a group of people who will all be privy to any mistakes you make while presenting. Who in their right mind would want to do something like that? You might never outgrow or overcome your fear/dislike of public speaking, but—as we've said before and we're sure to say again—people make mistakes.
Take Berkun's advice on this one:
The secret to coping with these events is to realize that everyone forgets about them after they happen—except for one person: me. No one else really cares that much.
You can beat yourself until the end of days over little errors that you make, but the truth is, you'll always be your own worst critic. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.
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