GOOOAAAL!

We're guessing you're already pretty good at telling the difference between a fistfight and a wordfight. (And no, we didn't leave the "s" off the beginning of that last word—we're not talking about fighting with swords here.)

But how good are you at telling the difference between a wordfight and an argument?

They're not the same thing. Not by a long shot. But we've gotten pretty used to seeing arguments devolve into wordfights. So used to it that it's hard to even picture what a deliberative argument looks like.

In this lesson, that's exactly what we're going to figure out. Deliberative argument involves two important steps. First, the person arguing must know her goal—what she wants to get out of the argument.

In order to win the argument (and therefore accomplish their goal), the person arguing must know how to do something you started reading about in the last lesson: she has to know how to seduce her audience (and to resist any urges toward physical violence, of course).

Knowing how to set a goal and seduce your audience can go a long way to helping you win any argument you enter into (a.k.a. reach consensus). Clearly, this has some pretty enormous life-benefits right? One of those benefits is that it can help you become a better public speaker. How?

Let's lower the lights, put on a little Marvin Gaye, and find out, shall we?

Okay, now that you've read Chapter 2, let's apply its concepts to our own lives.

Take a minute to think of an argument you had recently with someone in your life: a S.O., a cousin, friend, a coworker, a cashier at the corner store—whatever. (Although honestly, we hope you're not arguing with cashiers all that much. They're just doing their jobs, okay? Unless they're not. In which case, argue away.)

The topic of the argument doesn't matter—it can be as insignificant (or otherwise) as you want.

We'll jump in with examples as we go along, to better illustrate what we're talking about.

Example argument: My spouse and I recently finished watching all of Breaking Bad. We were both depressed that we had watched all of that brilliant, brilliant show. So last night we argued about which show to watch next.

Our example is not Earth-shattering stuff, we admit. Got one of your own in mind? Great. Now ask yourself: What was your goal in the argument? What did you want to get out of it? Answer for your own example before you read ours.

Example goal: I wanted my spouse to agree to watch Jane The Virgin.

Next question: What was the outcome of your argument? Did you actually accomplish your goal? Why or why not?

Example outcome: Instead of using deliberative argument techniques, I turned the argument into a fight. When my spouse insisted we watch Game of Thrones instead of Jane The Virgin, I yelled, "Game of Thrones is stupid, and so are you!" Then I stormed off to bed.

Maybe your argument went better than our example. But even if it did, our guess is that you've had your share of arguments that were really just fights, and we're guessing you've had your share of fights that didn't go your way, in the end.

Now take a few minutes to consider how you might have employed the three seduction strategies Heinrichs mentioned in your argument.Here they are again, for reference:

• Change the mood.

• Change your audience's mind.

• Fill your audience with the desire to act.

Example "change the mood" strategy: Since I'm in the mood to watch something light and funny, I need to put my spouse in the mood for the same. I'm going to bring up the most depressing, heartbreaking episode of Breaking Bad I can remember and talk about it until my spouse is practically in tears.

Example "change your audience's mind" strategy: Once my spouse has stopped looking misty-eyed, I'll say something like, "I heard that Jane The Virgin is a modern-day Gilmore Girls. And Gilmore Girls is hi-larious." I expect at this point my spouse will be desperate for some levity.

Example "fill your audience with the desire to act" strategy: As soon as I've got my spouse quoting Lorelai and Rory, I'll say, "Want to watch one episode now, just to see if it's at all Gilmore Girls-esque?" This will, I expect, inspire my spouse to agree to watching one episode of Jane The Virgin. After that, I'm pretty certain I can persuade my spouse to watch the whole series.

So as you can see, setting a goal for an argument and using seduction strategies to influence your audience can be pretty effective…if you take the time to think it through.

Back to the "Public" Part of "Public Speaking"

At this point, you might be asking what all this has to do with public speaking. Let's think that through, too.

Let's say you've been asked to give the keynote speech at a professional conference. The main purpose of your speech—a.k.a the consensus you want your audience to reach—is to convince everyone to try making one positive change at their office after the conference.

Now that we have a goal in mind, let's look at how you might accomplish it using the three strategies we've covered:

Change the mood: Because you want conference attendees pumped up (and forget they'll be spending the next three days in a hotel and away from their comfy homes and families), you spend a few minutes changing the mood by playing upbeat music and talking about how awesome everyone in the audience is.

Change your audience's mind: Now that the audience is feeling good, it's time to take advantage of their positive mood by convincing them they can be the ones to bring success and positive changes to their workplace.

Fill your audience with the desire to act: Once you've changed your audience's mind and convinced them they can be the change they wish to see in their office, give them a tip on how to start by doing one simple thing (whatever that is). The audience is already pumped and feeling good about their ability to effect change, and knowing they can do it fairly easily will make them want to rush back to their offices and do that thing. (As soon as the conference is over, of course.)

Now we want you to take a minute to think about what a great a job you've done in this course so far. How much you've learned. How supremely you have rocked it.

In fact, we encourage you to turn up the volume on your speakers as loud as they can go, turn on your favorite power ballad, and take a victory lap around the room with your fists in the air.

(We hope you don't feel too manipulated right now.)