Everything in war is simple, but the simplest thing is difficult - Carl von Clausewitz

My time at Trinity has provided the most consistent good group vibes of any of my professional destinations thus far. Most recently, Carlotta, an undergrad that I had worked with, was working with our Keck grant office and approached four of us with an opportunity to create the first cross disciplinary humanities lab on campus. Busy, tired, and in the mix of a semester we initially gave it the side eye with a firm Maybe. What even is a humanities lab? Labs are for STEM. Undeterred, Carlotta provided examples. The best being a humanities lab program at Colby College. Seeing the possibilities helped us envision our potential future. We agreed, knowing that we knew little as to where we were headed and bolstered by our history of collaborative support. Our chosen time of comital left little wiggle room. We had 24 hours to submit a 1 page abstract proposal with the unambiguous prompt of : “What cross disciplinary lab do you propose?” This was in the time of the Rona, so we met via zoom and Docs, and for one hour, sat and wrote our abstract. It was dirty, a bit disjointed, and didn't always make sense. Our art professor Kate  spontaneously blurted out the course name to be. Academic Making For the Built Environment. What the heck is the built environment? Don’t know but it sounds cool. 

We received enthusiastic approval, and $20k, from the Keck grant committee. The chair excitedly  informed us that this course would be a model for future programs and viewed at a minimum by the entire Trinity community. Daunting? Yes, but it provided energy to our efforts and strengthened our bond. We never discussed or considered the “Audience” or “Authority” that would perceive or “grade” our work. The next phase flowed along the same current. We gathered and wrote the broader course description, syllabus, and updated our CV’s over 2 one hour sessions. We then pitched to the faculty senate for course approval (broadcasted to the entire trinity community via zoom). We were still in rough rough draft mode. Our pitch wasn't clean. It was improvised and wonky and nobody judged or cared. They saw the potential in where we could go. The space beyond the obvious. Accepting feedback and encouragement from our peers we ran the course, improvising and adjusting each week. The broader community came by often to support and offer feedback. Our ten students in the course folded in with us to help create the course while in progress. Being a first run rough draft, we experienced many clear failures and learned, changed, and adapted our path. We finished strong and created a template, and platform for future endeavors and expansions. Looking back, our ability to thrive and excel could be strongly attributed to our broader community's acceptance and understanding of the pace and power of rough ideas and failure. We have no fear of being shamed or punished. We also made room for our communal expertise to thrive. Engaging our expertise when called for and supporting when others have the floor. Altogether, the process allowed us to break away from the known established frameworks.  (Here’s a link to the marketing write up in the course)

Watching the video of the CNCS Latinx Parent Team I was struck by their sheer bravery. Published in 2020. A scary time of white nationalism and deportation. Especially if you are a Latin American immigrant. They risk losing all, and yet find power in community. A collective voice to ask why their kids are being pushed aside. Consistently relegated, forgotten, and shrugged off. Their ask has no monetary cost, and if addressed yields large community dividends. Their power is not in the delivery but in their truth and desire for their children to realize the same opportunities as the kids from across town. Their power is in revealing that they are humans with the same struggles and desires as everyone else. Not political or economic tokens to be traded. I sincerely hope that they maintain their communal strength and find ways to keep their children in school and expand beyond their current framework. 

Compared to the women on the CNCS Latinx parent team we, The Macerals, have relatively little skin in the game, but we will still bring it. Meeting in person for the first time in the week of August 2022 we fused and bonded while experiencing embodiment and community healing practices. Every morning, we gelled through physical self and community embodiment exercises with Shannon. We saw the beauty of poetry on the streets and felt the calmness of the natural world with Marcus. Let go of embarrassment and self judgment by dancing with Marcus in the foyer. We experience a multitude of deep community healing and listening modes from Molly and Sung. We were introduced to people putting in the hard work to improve and reclaim community power by Paul and Emily. We bonded and embraced the freedom and newness. We calmed and floated outside of our known framework, seeing the potential in the cracks and empty spaces beyond. We sensed what we could be. And then, when asked to solidify our experience in a video of Us, we clenched, puckered, and constricted. We ran from the calmness and back to our known default frameworks. Bombarding ourselves with: Rubrics, Judgments, Limitations, an Audience, This is How It's Done, This is How Much It Takes, Perfection! Our group fretting persisted for what felt like days until we sloughed off the old ways and danced it out. “When in Doubt, Dance it Out! Meg Ziler

Clearly, these practices we are learning are fantastic but hard. They require practice. For a moment we bounced back into the calm unknown and just flowed without talking. We then agree again to express ourselves without talking but through writing our shared experience. That's when the power and beauty started to emerge. Not from the structure, framework, and desire to please, but through the expression of our shared truth. When Meg read aloud our shared vision it coalesced our vision of what we deliver and express. What popped into my mind was a riff on the Back To The Future II intro: Rules? Where we’re going, we don't need Rules. 

I didn't know if we would pull off this full iteration of the Story of Us. I wrote my piece with love and spoke my part with care and put my faith in our masters of the videovers, Vincent and Morgan. They kicked its ass. Our final video is Us and looks and feels amazing. We let go of control and put our faith in the expertise of a couple of group members and it worked better than we could have imagined. Moving forward will require practice, patience, and support from within and without. These tools we are learning need honing to be effective and sink in. We are up for the task. We will practice, pick each other up, and remind each other to chill and let go of the pressures we place on ourselves. We will, at the pace called for,  learn to see the opportunities beyond our established frameworks and into a new generative paradigm. We are the Mighty Macerals!