UU Santa Monica - 2018-19

As I was preparing to leave, I put out the same request for feedback that I've normally done in other congregations. However, leaders at Santa Monica created many more opportunities to gather in small groups and one-on-one meetings to say goodbye and offer feedback. On my last Sunday there was a blessing of a laying on of hands followed by a reception where I had a lot of conversations and received a great many cards. I think fewer people responded by email because they took advantages of other opportunities.

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For these last 2 months I have been pushing down my feelings of disappointment and sadness surrounding your leaving SM and trying to come to terms with the what and why of things.

I think that the reason that so many are bereft at your early departure is that there has been so little reason to find any fault with your handling of our situation. I am certain there may be naysayers but I personally have not heard even one word of disapproval and that is my truth as well.

The following are traits which I found admirable in your work with this congregation:

• Your honesty from the very beginning as to why and what your responsibilities were in helping us to get back to good will and good work as a congregation.
• How you met with over 100 of us individually so you would have the best understanding of exactly what was needed doing at UUSM. How admirable of you.
• Your extensive experience in the brotherhood and in brother and sister parishes.
• Your actual work and current UU responsibilities which extended beyond our own UUSM.
• The integrity with which you met each new situation, etc. that you encountered here.
• Your active involvement in the total life of the church (and I must admit I realize that if you had a family and/or partner here with you then this might have been somewhat different)
• Your age (which happens to be the exact age of my two children) which I found to be old enough and young enough at the same time.
• YOUR SERMONS and all that surrounded Sunday morning services, MOST ESPECIALLY the creation of our Worship Associates program, which I believe is outstanding from every aspect.

I wish I could share some constructive criticism with you which might enhance your personal growth but I’ll have to leave that for someone else as I have nothing to share along that line.

Of course in a perfect world we would have had you for at least one more year and I believe that you originally, at least, might have envisioned that happening as well.

But then of course life and circumstances change, as do you and as must we.

Greg, I cherish the time we’ve had together and just hope that we will do you justice by having grown and increased accordingly in our capacity for better adhering to our UU principles.

Hopefully as we look forward to this new developmental minister we will be two years ahead of where we were when first you arrived.

Finally, I wish you and Lucy a future of continued growth together and individually laced with peace, contentment and in your lives with one another.

(Membership Committee and Nominating Committee Member)

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Dear Greg,

First of all, I am sad, for our sakes, that you are leaving. You have brought light and life and clarity and humor to our congregation, which we have needed and will continue to need.

I am also very happy for you. Since I am fond of you, I cannot help but be excited about this momentous change in your life. I wish you and Lucy a loving and successful marriage that lasts until death you do part. My personal experience is that life holds no greater joy.

I would like to thank you for a few of the changes during your tenure that are particularly meaningful to me. The church has become much calmer. Your one on one interviews are a remarkable accomplishment, which allowed you to know us and to gain an understanding of our strengths and weaknesses and significant problems. In preparation for writing, I reread the minister’s report from the end of the first year. It is valuable for me personally to look at the events of the past decade through the filter of your experience and insight. I realize how unprepared I was in many ways to take on the tasks for which I assumed responsibility. But of course, it’s not mostly about me. We still have a long way to go to address most of the issues you have raised, though steps have been taken and the trajectory seems more hopeful. I realize that I still do not feel safe contemplating leadership responsibilities; I believe those feelings are perfectly understandable, and I’ll just have to see how it goes. In any case, I believe your thorough evaluation is an incredibly useful document, and I hope your successor will be able to build on your knowledge.

I appreciate your insistence on financial transparency. I have never experienced that here before and it feels incredibly healthy. As you have noted, we still have difficult issues with money, but at least some people have been trained in a different approach.

I really appreciated the praise you gave Nurit, who I have valued personally and professionally. I really appreciated the praise you gave Jacki Weber. She certainly deserves it, but praise is not something that is given so freely at UUSM. Nurit received a lot of grief when I was president.

I have enjoyed your sermons very much. They are creative, and helpful and interesting.

I believe you have been a good minister to many people. I appreciate the counsel you have given me.

I hope you return to ministry at some point in the future, because you have a special gift. That being said, there is a season for everything, and you will encounter your own personal discoveries.

Thank you for everything you have given us.

(Past President and Long Time Member)

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I will miss you.

You've been very open about your challenges growing up, what you learned about yourself and others and how you moved beyond shame to connect deeply with others. As someone who has had my own similar experiences, it has meant a lot to me that you could put words to a lot of my feelings. I feel like you’ve helped do that for many of the struggles in the congregation, bringing empathy where we only knew how to see pain and helping us move beyond blame to real healing. Even though you are leaving some important lessons linger: you have taught us about healing and operating from a healthy place.

Blessings on the road ahead. I hope to hear about your future successes.

(Long term elder, choir member and 'church pillar')

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Thanks for all your amazing work at church these past 2 years. I especially loved your sermons.

(Church Elder)

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Reverend Greg,

I enjoyed having the chance to know you and hear your heartfelt messages from the pulpit. I only wish our time could have been longer, but I can see that doing right by your life partner is more important than taking care of your congregation (especially one that has not always taken care of their own responsibilities).

I am especially grateful for your helping me believe in myself. And for helping me in such a big way to look past unkind and defeating self-talk in a way that has allowed me to take some big steps toward acceptance, support, and love.

(Worship Associate)

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Dear Greg,

UUSM has been so blessed by you and your work here. You shook it up just a little bit right at the beginning, I remember your first sermon included scripture. That said to me that you were ready to help us navigate situations that had previously been controversial.

I appreciated that when you arrived you reached out to almost every member and engaged in deep conversations. I imagine it was good research for you — it felt healing and supportive for us and it was like a new beginning to me.

I appreciated that you always shared your developmental ministry experience insight and guidance, but at the same time, listened patiently and let us find our own way.

Yesterday when the screen was not used, I reflected on the many ways you have revolutionized our Sunday services. I have loved the screen with lyrics, so heads and hearts are lifted up. I always appreciate the “Going Deeper.” And I have loved the “drama” that you brought to services with your heartfelt singing, your emotional and personal stories, and the music during the closing words of your sermon.

I am grateful for the work you did to help form so many important new groups, from Worship Associates to reviving the pastoral program and developing the Connector program :). Your support gave everyone the opportunity to have meaningful involvement in our church life. I deeply appreciate the attention and support you gave to Stewardship.

In chatting with (my partner), he reminded me of how sad we both felt at (the previous minister’s) departure. And how it quickly became apparent that you were exactly what UUSM needed — your experience and firm leadership — with, and I quote, “your hand on the tiller!”

It would have been wonderful if you could have stayed longer — but I am so happy for you to be starting a new married life and to be bringing your extraordinary talents to another part of the UU world.

I feel that you are leaving UUSM much stronger, more unified, and optimistic.

With deep gratitude and love,

(Stewardship Co-Chair)

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I'm getting quite emotional writing this. Your impact has been deeper than I knew.

First, 10 days ago my son moved home from Utah after 16 months. He's greatly improved but not out of the woods yet. He's being supported by a professional coach who works with teenagers going through similar transitions and others. You listened as each part of his saga was unfolding and helped me see through my fears. Now he's here, half time with me. Now I can be the solid parent. Now I (gladly) carry the load while occasionally pushing back against the effects of the pain he has had to endure.

Until the last couple of years, I avoided getting deeply involved in the behind the scenes drama at the church because I need to preserve the sanctuary that UU was for me during my troubles. I'm understanding more and more the depth of the challenges, especially having (restlessly) sat through the annual meeting. I'm so glad Robin took this on (she's perfect for the Navy!).

You've done a great job in very challenging circumstances. The complexities of your task - from bylaws to closed minds - is daunting. I don't have any specific feedback, other than you've helped us along the way. But yes, we've got a long way to go.

Congrats to you and Lucy. I wish you all the best.

(Single Father, LEED certified architect, Incoming Chair of Buildings and Grounds)