How to Explain Forgiveness

Can you explain forgiveness? I mean, why it’s important? Why we do it?

A seminary professor once had a class on forgiveness where the only assignment involved bringing a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to class. Then he asked his students to talk about the pain of relationships – specifically, the hurt felt – in their head… in their chest… when a promise they felt had been made was broken. The kind so bad that they continued to carry the hurt around with them for years like little knots in their heart.

Then he asked how many still had any knots in their heart. And they all raised their hand. So he asked them to do an inventory. From the time they were born to the present day. Count up all the knots. And for each knot – even just a little one – to pick a potato – write the name of the offender and the date of the offense on the potato and put it in the clear plastic bag.

They were then told that this was their homework – not only for this class, but for life. So they had to carry this bag with them for the semester. Put it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work. Some seminarians walked out of class that day with bags that were quite heavy.

They were told that, anytime they wanted, they could take a potato out of the bag. But each time they did, they had to call that person or find some way of asking for or offering forgiveness or reconciliation

Lugging these sacks around made it clear the spiritual weight they were carrying. How much time and energy it cost them. How embarrassing it was to explain what they had been carrying and how long. And, over the course of the semester, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty smelly slime, which made it even worse.

We pay a great price for continuing to carry our pain. Negativity is very heavy. We sometimes think that forgiving someone is being nice to them. But it’s really about discovering what really are 'small potatoes' and experiencing the relief of being able to let them go.