George Washington wasn't actually the first president; he was the 103rd, but every president before him was so boring that nobody bothered to write anything down about them. But George was the first one to be even mildly interesting.

He was born on Halloween, which caused people to say that he was, quote, "very scary" and "terrifying".

Thomas Jefferson was the first president to be funny, coming up with the classic joke: 'Shut up, Meg!'

He was so short that everybody had to look all the way down to see him.

He was a wizard, commonly showing his magic powers by casting fireballs that looked hella awesome, am I right, fellas?

If you look at his portrait, you realize his head is suspiciously egg-shaped. It is just a hunch, but what if he's Humpty Dumpty?

The van was actually named after him.

Not the shoe.

He is so old lmao.

He had 15 kids. None of them were particularly cool except 1 that became Danny Devito. 

James K. Polk? More like James K. WOKE 😂🤣

Zachery Taylor famously had three arms, but nobody knew it because he was so boring that upon hearing even a single word come out of his mouth, everyone would fall fast asleep.

Mr. Fillmore kinda did nothing tbh.

Lincoln logs are actually named after him because he was born in a Lincoln log cabin.

Because of his name, he was often called Buchanan the Cannon by exclusively himself.

He owned 34 horses, and they all lived in the White House. Sadly, they all died at once: nobody knows why this happened.

This inspired the hit 2025 song by Coffeebug,  Lament of Horse.

His middle name stands for "stands for", so when people asked him, "What does the S in your name stand for?" he simply replied, "Yes!"

Ruthord is famous for stealing the middle initial from Ulysses S. Grant, the little worm.

James despised being mistaken for the cat, so he started hating lasagna and loving Mondays. This went so far that he banned Lasagna and made every Monday a national holiday called Jamesagiving. later Lasagna superfan and known Bibler, Charles J. Guiteau, assassinated President Garfield.

Chester A. Arthur invented the convection oven by the time he was 11.

Grover Cleveland had an evil twin named Clover Greenland who assassinated William McKinley.

He was assassinated.

w mountain reference?

Grover Cleveland had an evil twin named Clover Greenland who assassinated William McKinley.

Roosevelt was so manly that when he took off his monocle, it caused people to faint in his pure

 awe-inspiring manliness.

William Howard Taft was secretly a bear; in fact, he was the same bear that Roosevelt saved.

Woodrow Wilson was the only US president to be a nerd, eww. 

Warren often boasted that he could use the Force powers from Star Wars. And that's how he won the election.

Calvin Coolidge was the first and only president to like Battle for Dream Island. To quote the man himself: "I just really like how random [Battle for Dream Island] is; it has so many epic sarcastic jokes, I also support the Armenian Genocide."

Herbert Hoover popularized the "Bacon Hotdog's Dance," which became an instant classic dance for the ages.

FDR faked having polio so people would vote for him, and it worked.

Or did it?

He was an earthworm; in fact, he was the top of his class.

Dwight D. Eisenhower was often called Ike because he had a friend named Mike. Which was short for Michael Wave; he invented the microphone.

John F. Kennedy always called himself  "Johnathon B. Ronathon" in private, and when he realized someone else heard him say it, he would stare at them blankly until they left.

Lyndon B. Johnson had mad style; people often said, "Mr. President, your pants game is strong," as he had the biggest pants collection of any president.

When he got caught for Watergate, he said, "And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling reporters." Four years later, scooby doo used it, and then it became a popular thing to say.

Gerald Ford's dad was Santa Claus; that's why his middle name is Rudolph. 

And why he has a big nose.

Many people thought that Jimmy Carter was a time traveler because he commonly said, "I am a time traveler, oh did I just say that, oops," and then he would wink.

Guys, this one isn't actually true; I just wanted to impress you. 

Ronald Reagan was actually flat and not 3d but nobody noticed because he was so funny, as seen in the hit CD: Stand-Up Reagan.

Ray gun?

Even though his name is George H. W. Bush, he actually had 23 middle names; his full name is: George Hamburger John Washington Walter Hartwell White Quincy Rock And Roll is so Dope  Adams 6 The Moroccan Government Kills Dogs America Cash Bush 

He won't stop talking about JoJo's Bizarred Adventures.

He also ate a pig

George W. Bush famously hated 9/11 for stealing his brilliant idea and getting to it first.

Gorilla Grok killed him 💀

Donald Trump had a lot of Aura saved up, but then he ran with the Reform Party in 2000 [1] and was plunged into Aura debt.

Joe Biden often uses his laser eyes in a move he calls the "Biden Blast." This move is super powerful, but he only uses it when he needs to.

Actually true fact

He still hasn't recovered from the aura loss.

Here's hoping.

Hugh Laurie was the worst president ever.