Current Campaign: Transforming Community Care

API Equality-LA organizes community members to take action on a variety of issues that affect the API LGBTQ community. Through our campaigns, we work to educate the public, change institutional policies and practices, and transform our communities.

Transforming Community Care

Our current campaign focuses on mental health and community wellness. We seek to transform community care by:

• Increasing access to LGBTQ affirming and culturally responsive mental healthcare
• Promoting holistic community wellness
• Creating supportive and affirming community spaces for API LGBTQ people

Ongoing/Past Campaigns:

Supporting immigrant communities

• Co-organizing the May Day Trans Queer Contingent annually to march on May 1st in support of LGBTQ immigrants and workers
• (Indi)Visible Campaign Photo Campaign: promoting solidarity with LGBTQ undocumented and Muslim/South Asian immigrants

Protecting trans rights

• Transform CA: participating in a statewide coalition to protect trans rights
• Trans Allyship Teach-Ins: a day-long conference for API community members to learn how to be allies to transgender and gender nonconforming people

Core Work

API Equality-LA empowers API LGBTQ community members and allies to achieve LGBTQ, racial, and social justice and transform their communities through the following activities and programs.

Grassroots Organizing & Community Building

API LGBTQ community members and allies are at the core of API Equality-LA's work. Volunteers and partner organizations work together to plan, lead, and support activities and events for the API LGBTQ community.

• API Equality-LA Activist Academy: this annual 2-day training focuses on leadership development, API and LGBTQ movements, community-building, and hands-on organizing skills training for API LGBTQ people interested in learning more about activism.
• Volunteer Committees: volunteer-led committees plan and lead educational workshops; research public policies, legislation, and court cases; outreach to community members; develop communications and messaging strategy; and plan fundraising initiatives.
• General volunteer positions available. Contact us for more details.

Youth Leadership Development Programs

• Andre' Y. Ting Queer Trans API Power Institute: summer 2018 internship (paid)
• Spring and Fall/Winter internships and youth volunteer positions available. Contact us for more details.
• Presentations, training, & outreach at local youth conferences & schools

Family & Community Acceptance Programs

• Q&A Space: API LGBTQ coming out resource website
• Pioneers Project: short documentary series on pioneering API LGBTQ movement leaders
• Coming out workshops
• LGBTQ 101 workshops
• Trans Allyship Trainings

Steering Committee

The Steering Committee acts effectively as the board of API Equality–LA. Steering Committee members are responsible for ethical governance, financial health, and managing relationships with API Equality–LA's partners & funders. Committee members are dedicated to making sure API Equality–LA stays focused on our mission.

Alan Chan ◦ Mya ◦ Worrell ◦ Susie Thai ◦ Marcus ◦ Degnan ◦ Rena ◦ Ogino

Organizations

COMING OUT: HOW DO I TELL THEM?

Coming out for LGBT Asian and Pacific Islanders is often different, with unique challenges, than for other communities due to cultural differences, family position (e.g. responsibilities of youngest versus oldest child), stereotypes/homophobia built into language (in many languages, there are no positive/neutral terms to describe LGBT people), language barriers, lack of foundational information about LGBT people, religious barriers, fear of being ostracized from extended family, generational differences, and immigration status.

While coming out is not for everyone nor is there a “right time” to come out, the following are culturally confident and linguistically appropriate resources and tools and resources for API LGBT youth and older who do wish to come out and are struggling with the process.

How do I tell them? A coming out workshop for Asians and Pacific Islanders

The coming out experience for API LGBT youth is often difficult due to cultural and language barriers that prevent them from connecting with their families. For many API LGBT youth and students, they feel that they might disappoint their families and end up living double lives, one in campus and/or with their friends and the other at home.

This workshop generally lasts four hours and provides students and youth:

• A safe space to discuss challenges and strategies around coming out to their families within an API context
• To hear stories and ask questions to APIs who have come out to their families as well as parents of LGBT children
• Time to role play and prepare API Equality-LA holds this workshop minimally once or twice a a year in the LA area. For more information on our next one, please contact us at

Questions to consider before coming out

We know that coming out is different for everyone. Sometimes you plan exactly when you want to come out, and it goes very smoothly. Other times you don’t get to plan it, because your parents confront you or catch you, or someone else outs you. It may be helpful to think about how you want to come out — and, if you aren’t able to control it, at least you are prepared and have already thought about it.

Here are some questions to answer before you have your conversation:

1. Who do you want to come out to? What order do you want to tell people? Do you want to tell your siblings first, and then your parents together? What about your extended family?
2. Where do you want to come out to them? Try to find a neutral ground/space.
3. When do you want to come out to them? Make sure to give them time to process, don’t do it in front of people, or when they are about to see other people.
4. What do you need to come out to them? Are there language barriers? Do you need the right vocabulary?
5. Do you need resources to give them? Should you have API PFLAG pamphlets, general LGBT fact sheets, etc? Do they need to in-language?
6. How do you think they feel about LGBT people? Have you tested the waters on LGBT issues? What conversations have you had? Are you ready to counter possibly negative perceptions they have?
7. With these considerations, if you’re feeling ready to come out, how do you prepare yourself for that day? You should make sure to discuss back-up plans.

Plan for possible parent reactions

The following are real reactions that some API parents after their child came out to them. Keep in mind that the real reactions you get may be very different from these or a combination of them, but hopefully you have some more tools in your toolbox to better handle this process. It may be helpful to plan our responses to these scenarios of, if you are out to other people in your life (such as siblings and friends), to do roleplay with someone you trust.

In thinking about parents’ reactions, remember that LGBT people often have years to think their own sexuality, while this news is often shocking to parents. Parents who initially react negatively may just need time. Ask yourself, “What will my coming out be like for my parents? What is it like from my parents’ perspective?”

Possible scenarios of parents’ reactions:

• Loving, accepting, feeling honored to have been told (This answer is not part of exercise)
• Worried/sad for you because LGBT people are persecuted
• Dismissive, tries to change subject, acts as if conversation didn’t happen
• In denial, believes being LGBT is a choice/just a phase
• Ashamed and embarrassed
• Self-blaming
• Blames the environment/American culture
• Believes you’re “sick”
• Grief – the “idea” of their child is no more
• Feel betrayed – feels like you’ve been lying to them
• Parents are religious and think you are sick and need a therapist

The coming out letter

A good method of coming out is a face-to-face talk with the help of a coming out letter. The letter might be 1-2 pages in length. A coming out letter can be helpful even after you have been out for a while, and can be used to improve relationships with your parents.

The coming out letter will:

• Force you to organize your thoughts
• Make it obvious to parents that being gay is not a choice, after learning of your fear, loneliness, self-hate, etc.
• Let them know that being gay was not because of something that they did
• Open their minds on the subject of sexual orientation
• Allow them to understand your pain and your fears which might encourage a protective and nurturing reaction
• Provide an opportunity for you to express your feelings of love and appreciation of them, and your hope for the future.

This is a resource from San Gabriel Valley API PFLAG. Please click here for the full resource.

Parents

My daughter just told me she's gay... what now?

A great resource sheet for parents whose child has just came out to them — what do you do now that your child has come out to you? How do you cope? This is a true story by Linda Ma, written after her daughter had come out to her.

Click here to download the fact sheet in:

Simplified Chinese (簡體中文) | Traditional Chinese (繁體中文) | English | Farsi* | Hindi* | Bahasa Indonesia | Japanese* | Korean* | Tagalog | Urdu* | Vietnamese

Is it our fault that our child is gay?

Although parents may feel responsible for their children’s sexual orientation, an individual’s sexual orientation is nobody’s fault. Parents blame themselves for a variety of reasons, including failing to provide the proper family environment or raising children with the wrong methods. Some single parents even blame themselves for having a different family structure.

Ultimately, parents’ actions have no influence on a child’s sexual orientation. A person’s attraction to another develops naturally and does not change due to one’s family environment. At the end of the day, self-blame originates from parents’ love for and worries about their children. If you can listen to what your child has to say, understand his or her perspective and situation, and, through open dialogue, you can come closer to your child and understand that the feeling of self-blame is not warranted.

This is a great fact sheet answering some common questions parents have after their child comes out to them.

Click here to download the fact sheet in:

Simplified Chinese (簡體中文) | Traditional Chinese (繁體中文) | English | Farsi* | Hindi | Bahasa Indonesia | Japanese* | Korean* | Tagalog | Urdu | Vietnamese

Is being gay abnormal or unnatural?

For those who are learning about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people for the first time, this is a very helpful fact sheet answering basic and common questions from the API community, including:

• Is sexual orientation a choice?
• Can people who are gay change their sexual orientation?
• Can people who are gay raise children? Is this going to negatively impact the children

Click here to download the fact sheet in:

Simplified Chinese (簡體中文) | Traditional Chinese (繁體中文) | English | Farsi* | Hindi | Bahasa Indonesia | Japanese* | Korean* | Tagalog | Urdu | Vietnamese

San Gabriel Valley API PFLAG

San Gabriel API PFLAG is a organization that promotes health and well-being of Asian and Pacific Islander parents and friends of LGBT people through support, education, and advocacy. Unlike other PFLAGS, this organization uniquely addresses the culture-specific needs of the Asian-American, Pacific-Islander, East Asian, and South Asian people by fostering inter-generational dialogue, and when needed, providing language assistance.

They strive to meet the needs of our API families with LGBT children and/or our API LGBT with the following programs:

• Monthly Support Group
• Afternoon Tea with Asian Parents (ATAP), a shared-culture smaller group gathering
• Family Circle gathering that comprise of solely the immediate family and/or extended family
• Resources (online, printed copies, parent/LGBT/ally contact network)
• Ongoing advocacy work through event participation and continuing collaboration with local, state-wide, and national API LGBT organizations

*Materials are currently being finalized.

OTHER

Story Collections

Asian Gay & Proud

A Safe Space for Asian-American members of the LGBTQ (and Questioning) Community.

Asian Pride Project

This is an online space for family and friends of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Asian & Pacific Islander (API) people. It is a place to share our stories and experiences with each other, in the languages of our communities, in video, sound, pictures, and words.

The Dari Project

The Dari Project’s mission is to document and share the life stories of LGBTQ people of Korean descent.

The Visibility Project

Originally a project of AQWA, the Visibility Project is a national community powered video story collection + photo portraiture series featuring Queer Asian American Women + Trans + and Gender non-conforming folks.

Films

Fish Out of Water

Fish Out of Water is a 2009 documentary film by director Ky Dickens. The film showcases the seven Bible verses that are most often used to condemn homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

For the Bible Tells Me So (2007)

For the Bible Tells Me So is a 2007 American documentary film directed by Daniel G. Karslake about homosexuality and its perceived conflict with Christianity, as well as various interpretations of what the Bible says about same-sex sexuality.

In God’s House: Asian American Lesbian & Gay Families in the Church

In God’s House is a 2007 film that tells a story that the church needs to hear: that of Asian American Christian lesbian and gay people, their pastors, and their parents.

Books

Asian American Sexualities: Dimensions of the Gay and Lesbian Experience Edited by Russell Leong.

Asian American Sexualities works to dispel the stereotype of oriental sexual decadence, as well as the “model minority” heterosexual Asian stereotype in the US. Writing from an impressive array of interdisciplinary perspectives, the contributors discuss a variety of topics, including sexuality and identity politics; community activism and gay activism; transnational aspects of love between women in Thailand queer South Asian culture in the US; gay and lesbian filmmakers; same-sex sexuality in Pacific literature; and Asian American male homosexuality and AIDS. The relationship of the gay and lesbian experience to Asian American studies and Ethnic Studies is also explored.

Awakening / Tihn Thuc Edited by Gina Masaquesmay

O-moi zine features coming out experiences of lesbians, bisexual women and female-to-male transgender of Vietnamese descent. The zine has poems, short stories, a cartoon, articles, and resources on coming out. Please email contact@apiequalityla.org for a digital copy.

MOONROOT: An Exploration of Asian Womyn’s Bodies

Many of the writers in this zine identify as LGBT. Main goal of the zine is “to explore/revisit gender journeys; to explore roots & routes to open up discussions on difficult experiences as Asian American to think through the way race influences our experiences of gender, contributors, readers, and the broader community.

Q & A: Queer in Asian America, Edited by David L. Eng and Alice Y. Hom

What does it mean to be queer and Asian-American at the turn of the century? Q & Aapproaches matters of identity from a variety of points of view and academic disciplines in order to explore the multiple crossings of race and ethnicity with sexuality and gender. Drawing together the work of visual artists, fiction writers, community organizers, scholars, and participants in roundtable discussions, the collection gathers an array of voices and experiences that represent the emerging communities of a queer Asian-America.

Restoried Selves: Autobiographies of Queer Asian Pacific American Activists Edited by Kevin Kumashiro

Restoried Selves: Autobiographies of Queer Asian / Pacific American Activists presents the first-person accounts of 20 activists—life stories that work against common stereotypes, shattering misconceptions and dispelling misinformation. These autobiographies challenge familial and cultural expectations and values that have traditionally forced queer Asian / Pacific Americans into silent shame because of their sexual orientation and/or ethnicity. Authors share not only their experiences growing up but also how those experiences led them to become social activists, speaking out against oppression.