S.O.F.T. Accountability

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy…. Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." ~ Proverbs 27:6,17

Accountability is anything but soft. It’s not supposed to be comfortable, relaxing, or easy. Regardless, followers of Christ are clearly commanded to work to look more and more like Him, our example, and to do so in community. This often means opening our closet of skeletons, pulling back the curtain on the dark corners of our heart, and shedding light on things we don’t want known. Sin dies in the Light - the Light of the Cross. One way we can reflect that Light into the world around us is through accountability partners. 

As much as that sounds really hard and scary, accountability is one of the strongest tools God can use for sanctification and spiritual growth; one that has been so influential in so many lives.

SOFT is an acronym, one that can simplify accountability and make it a little less… daunting. Each letter stands for something that we feed, something that we meditate on, something that deeply affects our actions. A great way to approach accountability is to find a close friend of the same gender whom you trust and ask each other these four questions each week, listening carefully and sympathetically. Pray for each other, reach out throughout the week, and push each other closer to Christ. 

S:  How have you fed your SOUL this week?

This is a chance to discuss how you’ve both pursued your relationship in the Lord… what has time in the Word looked like? What have you been learning through church, college ministry, or life experience? How has God been moving and working in your life?

O: How have you fed OTHERS this week?

As a follower of Christ, you are called to be servants. We aren’t meant to just sit around contemplating our own spiritual state… hold each other accountable to a life marked by consistent service! How have you been serving others in church? School? At Home?

F: How have you fed your FLESH this week?

This is where the rubber truly meets the road in accountability. This question is a time for you and your partner to confidentially share sin struggles and habits that you’ve noticed since the last meeting. Be sure to listen carefully. In your responses, walk the line between holding your partner to a high standard of conduct and being kind and gracious in their struggle. Be open with one another, and it will be worth it if your partner is trustworthy and chases the Lord with you.

T: How have you planned for TOMORROW?

In light of those three questions, talk about plans for the upcoming week. How will you continue or change your method of feeding your soul and others? How will you fight temptation and sin in your life? How can you come alongside one another in the fight? End by planning the next time you’ll meet and then pray for one another.

You get out what you put in - with trust, commitment, etc. Ask lots of questions. If something isn’t clear, clarify it. Come alongside one another in life, both highs and lows. Pray for each other often, and text/call/speak encouragement to each other in between meetings. If disagreements arise, keep them as mere disagreements and not disputes! Take anything to a pastor if necessary. Be consistent with meeting, and seek to serve each other in your meetings as opposed to seeking the spotlight. Remember, we are called to be our brother's keeper!

Finally, there’s about 165,384,283,576 different ways you can do accountability well, these questions are not infallible or perfect. Just a framework in case you don’t know where to start :)