Receiving feedback on my short story, feature article, and research process has been incredibly helpful in identifying both strengths and areas for improvement. It has allowed me to reflect on my creative choices, refine my approach, and recognise where my writing needs more depth or focus.
The feedback on my short story highlighted that while the idea was strong and the writing was engaging, the story arc was not fully developed. My tutor noted that although Anna is affected by the disaster, simply signing a petition does not demonstrate significant character change or an emotional journey. Similarly, Amina’s story, while devastating, needed to move beyond telling and immerse the reader more in her experiences, emotions, and struggles. The suggestion to make Amina more active in her story—fighting and resisting rather than just being a victim—was something I hadn’t considered in my first draft.
I now realise that my story would be stronger if Anna’s involvement extended beyond a passive reaction to real-world events. Instead of just signing a petition, she could take action, perhaps travelling to a country affected by crisis, where she directly experiences the issues she once only read about. This would create a stronger plot and make her transformation more compelling. In future drafts, I will also focus on showing rather than telling—adding more sensory details, internal monologue, and immersive descriptions so that the reader feels the tension, hardship, and emotional weight of both women’s experiences rather than being told about them.
The feedback on my feature article emphasized the need for a stronger hook rather than opening with broad, factual statements. I learned that while statistics and global trends are important, they are not enough to immediately capture a reader’s attention. My tutor pointed out that human interest—such as my interview with Natalia—is a powerful storytelling tool that should be introduced earlier to engage the audience from the start.
One key takeaway from this feedback was the importance of balancing facts with personal narratives. Too many statistics and explanations can make a feature article feel more like an essay, which risks losing the reader’s emotional engagement. I now see how I can revise my article by integrating personal stories more naturally—perhaps starting with Natalia’s experience before expanding into the broader topic of cultural and social differences. Another important point was adjusting my journalistic tone—phrases like "interviewed my friend" made my article sound too informal. Instead, I should present Natalia’s story more objectively, embedding quotes more seamlessly and framing them in a way that reads like a news article rather than a personal essay.
Regarding my research, my tutor highlighted that I focused too much on themes rather than short story structure and form. While researching cultural and social differences was valuable, I didn’t analyze enough short story techniques, such as narrative voice, pacing, and character development.
Referencing Girl, Woman, Other as inspiration was also questioned, as it’s a novel rather than a short story collection. I now understand that short stories typically focus on one perspective and a contained time frame, making multiple narratives harder to execute. Moving forward, I will analyse more traditional short stories to refine my understanding of their structure.