Spiritual Formation Stories

Three participants share how they sought and met with God at the recent Tending the Soul silent retreat (29 May – 1 June). 

Chua Chor Ling

The retreat was a much-needed respite and the first time in many years that I was able to have time alone for days at a stretch with the Lord. Before the retreat, my mind was constantly preoccupied with the endless lists of things to do both at home and at work leaving me fatigued, both physically and spiritually. I was looking forward to a much-needed rest, spending time alone with the Lord and seeking His direction for whatever is ahead.

My first night was far from restful. The Lord brought to mind burdens I had been carrying, including things that I had put aside and tried to forget. I spent the night sobbing as tears flowed uncontrollably. It was a very difficult night and totally unexpected. I was looking for rest but ended up feeling even more tired!

The next day, during the one-to-one session with the facilitator, I realised I needed to release my burdens before I could receive from God. As I read 1 Kings 19 later, I was reminded of how when I was seeking God’s voice in my busy days, I felt distant and could not find Him. Just like how God’s voice was not in the great and powerful winds, earthquakes and fires in my busy life, I needed to find a quiet place and be still to hear God’s “gentle whisper”.

I enjoyed walking the meditation labyrinth at the retreat center, where God told me many times to trust in Him even when my path seemed to lead me away from my goal. All I needed to do was to take one step at a time, stay focused on the path He has for me and surely, He will lead me to my destination. 

 He also showed me a cracked section in the path, where a tiny plant was growing out. “You only see the cracks, but I see opportunity for new life,” the Lord said to me. I was taken aback by how true it was! I had been so preoccupied with doing things right and often beating myself up over my inadequacies. Yet God showed me how the “cracks” in me actually allowed opportunities for me to grow and bear fruit. God is so good indeed in His unfathomable ways!

God continued to speak to me through many wondrous and amazing moments during the retreat—that  I could always depend on Him, to remember to slow down in my daily life, and to just praise Him whenever I get impatient.

By the end of the retreat, I felt very well rested spiritually and mentally. God led me to mold a  little camera as a reminder of my retreat experience. Just like a camera taking photos, each moment captured is unique and will never be exactly the same again when the moment has passed. In order to capture the God-moments , I need to have my lens focused on Him, to be receptive and ready with my finger on the shutter for the moments that God wants to show me, to be well rested and recharged like the camera battery, and to have my memory card emptied just as He lifted and emptied my burdens, so that I can fill it (myself) up with all the wonderful new moments that He is going to show me.

Thank you, God, for a most wonderful experience. You have showed me so much love and taught me even more! This retreat far surpassed my expectations. God really knew what I wanted and needed even without my asking. I am also thankful to my cluster, cell and workplace fellowship for keeping me in prayers. I look forward to the many more moments that God will continue to show me in the future!

Samuel Lim

I was in a period of transition between jobs, and came with the intention to hear and seek God’s direction with regard to my career and a particular request in my personal life.

The time of silence was unfamiliar and uncomfortable at the start. All I could hear were my own thoughts playing inside my head. However, this made me more conscious that I had come to the retreat with much restlessness and anxiety on the inside, even though I was physically rested. That evening, while walking the grounds of the retreat centre, I conversed with God and could not help but lay down these areas causing anxiety before God in prayer. As i was gazing into the night sky after praying, i felt an inner impression : “Have faith and trust God”. I instantly knew that this was God’s voice speaking to me for my situation.

I felt more "settled" into the time of silence the next day and there was a certain clarity in my mind, as the thoughts from the night before were no longer re-playing in my head. I learnt that we often need to go through a process of "de-cluttering" or "emptying" before we can fully receive God’s love and what He has for us. While taking a walk in the garden that morning, an impression came into my mind that my restlessness was caused by worry about certain events in the future that were outside my control. This must have been the Holy Spirit revealing this to me, and I immediately surrendered these events to God in prayer and felt a sense of relief.

As the retreat drew to a close, I realised that I had learnt to hear and recognise God’s voice speaking to me, which I could have overlooked in the busyness of life. I also cultivated a posture of prayer by learning to bring my requests before God regularly. I came back from the retreat comforted and my relationship with God strengthened during these four days.

ZH Cai

This retreat experience was the second time that I had attended a 4D3N silent retreat. I was very much looking forward to this time away from the busyness of life, into the quiet and tranquility that I have not been able to experience elsewhere. 

Coming to this retreat, I had some concerns that I had wanted to bring before the Lord and wanted to seek Him for a sense of direction and clarity. This was particularly in the area of my career trajectory and whether I should pivot out into something quite different altogether. Having had an experience during last year’s retreat, where I had sought the Lord for similar things and received a word to simply trust Him, I had a sense that God would give me a similar response. 

Yet, God in his sovereign wisdom chose to respond quite differently and far more explicitly this time. Through the time of meditation and reflection upon both His Word and the book, Every Good Endeavour by Timothy Keller, I ended up leaving the retreat with a far clearer and sharper sense of what God had purposed for the next season of my life. I also left feeling a deeper sense of peace and with a renewed perspective of the meaning of work. 

All this was only possible because of the calming and quiet environment that was offered at the retreat centre. It truly is a place that offers a very unique opportunity for us to be still and quiet before the Lord – for our souls to more easily find the rest it so desperately craves in the midst of a constantly noisy and overstimulated world. I was certainly thankful for this opportunity and have every intention to retreat annually and intentionally care for my soul and spirit man.

Choy Kem Wah

I signed up for “A Quiet Day with the Lord” retreat on April 17 on the spur of a moment. Not knowing what to expect, I was initially very apprehensive.

Can I last a day without speaking or interacting with another human being (physical and virtual realm) - really??

Instead of feeling bored and restless, going into quietness and slowing down enabled me to become aware of my feelings, emotions & surroundings in a more acute sense. (A spiritual centering process.) This resulted in heightened awareness/appreciation of God’s loving presence and the beauty of God’s wonderful creation! (An attitude of gratitude!)

At the end of the day, I’ve to admit that the overall experience was more than quiet. I had a humbling and loving experience with the Lord. It was a surprisingly refreshing and wonderful time, something I have not had for a long time!

I got a glimpse of the concept – “Simple things are paradoxically rich!” for the body, mind and soul.

I am already looking forward to the next quiet days with the Lord!

Celine Lee

With the busyness of school and life, many things were demanding my attention. As a result, I had not been prioritising time with God. When I spent time with God, I was mostly distracted, too. So when a friend of mine asked if I would like to sign up for the Quiet Day, I thought it would be a good opportunity to spend time with God intentionally. As this was my first time attending a silent retreat, I did not know what to expect but I was excited to encounter God. 

During the session, I was challenged to think about how I can be thankful in my struggles. Often times, I take on a pessimistic view. Thus, this undisrupted time set aside for the Lord allowed me to step back and think about what God may be teaching me in the difficult times. At the end of session, I felt mostly refreshed as I was reminded how there can be so much to be thankful for in the good and bad times.

Melvin Leong

At every turn, whether it be work, rest or play, we are pressured to be productive.

Productive - if not, we are somehow wasting precious time and energy; keeping busy, if not we are idle.

Spending a day unplugged without an agenda challenges this, and it can be truly amazing as to how much more receptive you are to the Word and the Spirit when you are able to pause everything going on in your life even for just a brief moment. Come without an agenda, or you might limit yourself to your own voice and your own plans. Allow Him to speak to you on His terms, and actively wait on Him in the quietness of the beautiful retreat centre.

You might wonder: how am I going to spend the entire day without talking to anyone or using my phone? It might feel daunting, but with the help of Soo Hoong’s gentle guidance, even first timers are able to ease into the practice of quiet contemplation and reflection. I personally felt that the day flew past, and had my soul refreshed and rejuvenated. I am looking forward to another, hopefully longer, opportunity for a silent retreat in the future.

The 31 July to 1 August two-day home retreat was a meaningful experience for myself as I very much wanted to use the opportunity to hear from the Lord and to seek His affirmation on some matters that I had been carrying in my heart and in my prayers for a long time.

On the first day of the retreat, I was simply amazed, to the point of being stunned, when God revealed to me through the song which the retreat facilitator shared with us.

I saw a very bright light emitting from the picture of Jesus carrying a lamb in his arms. It reminded me of the same extremely bright light which God had shown me back in April 2017, when I was in severe depression and on the brink of giving up on everything. Back then, I immediately realised the source of this light and with the assurance and strength from Him, I recovered to continue serving Him with my humble gifting and resources.

Hence, on seeing this light again, God has indeed revealed His presence and affirmation. At that moment, I felt absolute peace in my heart. Also, through the scripture texts which were given for our contemplation and reflection, God again reminded me that my faith in Him must never waver, no matter what circumstances and disappointments I go through. The lyrics from another song, Be Still, which was shared ... “No work too hard for Him, in faith receive from Him” ministered to me and brought much comfort as well.

I thank The Lord for the spiritual director, who patiently listened and gave spiritual guidance in our one-on-one time via Zoom. During our conversation, I received the same affirmation from God through her.

On the second day of the retreat, after much quiet time for deep reflection, I was very thankful to God that besides His affirmation for what I have been seeking, He had also shown me transformation, made possible solely by His grace and love.

When the retreat had ended, I received God’s healing, too, as I realised that the severe pain which I was in due to a terrible fall I had three weeks earlier had diminished much. I thank God for His healing and for meeting me at this retreat, manifesting His love, presence, healing and affirmation. All praise and glory to our Almighty God, our loving Abba Father!