Parenting for a Caring World

My Mission:  

♦  To create a more caring world by promoting child-rearing practices that are respectful, responsive, empathetic and kind

♦  To prevent serious societal problems such as addictions, bullying, depression, corporate sociopathy, health problems and child abuse...by

     ♥   Ending callous infant “independence-training” techniques and other child-rearing methods that are unkind and disrespectful of children's needs, feelings and developmental abilities...and

     ♥   Promoting CARE Parenting (Conscious, Attuned, Responsive and Empathetic) and specific child-rearing practices that are kind and respectful of children’s needs, feelings and developmental abilities.

How is CARE Parenting different from regular parenting?

Mainstream or “regular” parenting in the U.S. has mainly concerned itself with shaping, controlling and modifying children’s behavior and has given little importance to children’s emotional and relationship needs.  

Parents who practice CARE Parenting believe in meeting their children’s needs for emotional security and for empathetic, responsive caregivers. They believe in “tuning in” to their children to try to understand what they’re feeling and trying to communicate. They listen with empathy and make thoughtful, conscious decisions, rather than just “doing what’s always been done” or reacting based on whatever mood they happen to be in. They respond to in a positive and caring way that shows respect for their children and their feelings, thoughts, preferences and boundaries.

How does this play out in actual situations ? 

Let’s look at a question asked by many parents: “Should I let my baby cry it out?” For decades, parents have been told by "experts” to ignore what their hearts tell them and leave their babies alone to cry themselves to sleep. The only goal is to modify the babies’ behavior, to teach them that no one will come or comfort them when they cry, so that parents don’t have to “waste” their time helping their babies transition to sleep. This “sleep-training” is supposed to teach babies to “self-soothe” and become “independent.” 

With CARE Parenting, parents pay attention to their babies’ cries, understanding that they are distressed and feeling empathy for them. Then the parents use the research-based knowledge they consciously chose to learn regarding what babies need to feel secure and loved and to grow up to be caring and confident adults. Finally, they consciously make the decision to show empathy for their babies’ feelings and respect for their needs, by picking them up, comforting them and helping them transition to sleep. (Don’t most adults prefer to go to sleep holding the warm body of a loved one?)

Is it really so bad to let a baby to cry for a little while? 

We’ve allowed ourselves to believe that when a baby cries, it means they “just want” something, though when an adult cries, we take action, based on the   understanding that they’re suffering and need our comfort. We would never turn away from a friend who’s crying, but we easily turn our backs on our little babies. 

Let’s revisit these beliefs. Let’s try to really understand what the baby in this one-minute video is feeling:

We very much doubt that after seeing the baby in the video, you said:

"I would love to feel as sad and helpless and alone as this baby! It's always great to be trapped in your room, knowing you can't go to the one you love and that the one you love is not going to come to you, either." 

If we adults feel sad or lonely, we sometimes "soothe" ourselves by listening to music or watching TV, but most of us would prefer to pick up the phone and call someone, or get in our cars and go to where our loved ones are, or at least to a place where we can be with other human beings. We don't "suffer in silence;" we take action. But what choice do babies have? They're entirely dependent on us. They cry to let us know they need us, but “experts” have told us we need to ignore them, that they need to learn to "self-soothe." Research has shown that children can't BEGIN to learn to soothe themselves till they're about 2 and a half to 3 years old. And anyway, if we adults turn to others for comfort, even though we have the maturity and ability to have developed many coping mechanisms, why do we deny comfort to our very dependent and immature babies? 

Did you know???

Research findings from neuroscience, psychology, health sciences and other fields have shown that: 

     ♦   Responding promptly and lovingly to your babies' cries and signals helps them develop the security, inner strength, confidence and empathy they will need to become strong children and successful, ethical and caring adults.  

     ♦   Meeting your babies' needs for security facilitates good emotional health AND good physical health and helps protect them from later depression, anxiety, addictions and other serious emotional and physical problems.

     ♦   The behavioristic “independence-training” techniques recommended for decades by so-called experts are not only counterproductive but harmful. Leaving babies alone to “cry it out” damages their brains and anti-anxiety systems as well as their sense of security and their ability to trust and form healthy relationships.

Behaviorists focus on shaping and controlling behavior. Relationship-oriented parents and professionals focus on showing respect for babies and their needs and feelings, on meeting their needs and building strong, trusting and loving relationships.  

I encourage you to use both your mind and your heart to re-evaluate what mainstream American culture has been teaching us about infant-rearing. Make informed parenting decisions that feel right. 

I believe we can create a more caring world by treating our babies and children with respect and empathy.

Just follow these principles of CARE Parenting:  

    ♥   Make thoughtful, conscious and informed decisions. Don't react in the moment.
    ♥   Learn what children need to become caring and confident human beings.

​    ♥   Be attuned to what your children are feeling and trying to communicate to you.  

    ♥   Listen with empathy. Try to understand what they're experiencing. 

    ♥   Respond in a positive and caring way that shows respect for their feelings, thoughts and boundaries.     

This website is here to meet your needs. You have many options from which to choose:  

 *   Learn how to raise a confident child who will become a caring and successful adult...by visiting this website often

​ *   Join a community of like-minded parents through our Facebook page  

 *   Teach empathy and the harmfulness of ignoring a baby's cries: Listen to, download  and share the song "All I Want is You" 

 *   Listen to, download and share the lullaby I wrote and produced: "Momma's Here"

 *   Spread the word! Tell your friends, family and co-workers about this website and its video/songs and Facebook page 

                                                                                  and/or

*   Get the support you deserve from your own Parenting Coach/Consultant!