Bob's Rants

OK, if you enjoy stupidity, and like my  dumbness, just hit Ctrl-End
If not, you been warned...

2024, note to self, maybe clean or lose  all this.
I guess I'll post my dumbness hear, in  asscending date order?
So, just scroll down  for the entertainging ( HA )  stuff, and taske up where ya left off.
(NOTE,  i'm not really spell checking or doing TOO MUCH grammar chekking from here on in!
Enjoy, or stop reading!! )

2024-11-29
OK, Had some folks ACTUALLY tell me they ENJOY my stupid posts.
EVERY year even!  WTH?
whoda thunk it?

OK weirdos.  This tab is JUST for you!
Ugh, just go the end for the latest crap!



Yeah, not here.  GO TO THE END:
EARLIER:
OK, still trying to figure out how in hell to organize this.|
Until then just skip this tab/page.

I'm gonna try, TRY mind you, to just add new text chunks? blocks?  wthe google calls em these days.  I AM a web developer, and the terms in use today for the front end are just idiotic.
I think I'll put the NEWEST up under this, and then let them age out downward.
So, start at the ass end, and read Upward to get em in order.

Dates?  Dates!  we don't need no stinkin dates!

Theses are just notes.  do NOT read them, or you'll never find the perfect tree!!!  Don't say I didn't warn you!
The ball & chain will be unhappy until frikkin xmas 2024...
(The bal & chain, btw, does NOT refer to the femail of your union/relationsship, whatever you cal your perticular thing.  It refers to the BALL & CHAIN person *IN* your whatever relationship.  You  know what I mean.
( And you, B&C, know precisely who you are too!!!! ) ( god, I hate writing all the PC apologies, but apparently it is NECESSARY these days to avoid exciting all the excitable people who would otherwise get all excited about the way I write my humore.    This is NOT meant to get anyone all excited.  Go get a cents of humoor for this Xmas, please....   And don't worry that you are the B&C.  If your person didn't love you, you wouldn't be THEIR B&C... )  (Hmmmmmm, new challenge?  HOW MANY DIFFERENT ways can Bob spel, badly, Humor ?  Winner?  Dance? Moonlight?  WhoTF knows.  Tune in again next time Bat freaks, same Bat time, same Bat channel! )
Hmm, it appears I'm finally getting into my xmas rut!  w00t! ( for me, bad for all of you... )

11/25
this hasn't happened yet, thank god. i'm not ready.
(11/24, 1 day down.  STILL not ready for it to already be frikkin Nov. 25, 2023  )

11/24

THis happened.  People, two to be precise, SOMEhow, couldn't find the info on when we're open.  And the directions.
I *CHECKED* from my own personal phone.
At 2 PM today.  It is ALL fine and displaying, just as intended.
If you are on THIS PAGE and complaining that all you see are my rants, well then, you're pretty much on the Bob's RANTS PAGE, and you should expect rants.
You will NOT find hours , nor directions, here. 
Try real hard to read what I wrote.
On the OTHER pages. 
I spent kwite a lot of qwality time writing all this fishy carp.  ( See what I did there?  )

OK, it actually is 11/15

See?  I REMEMBERED to write the DATE.  I must still be mostly sober.

OMG, need to redo that homepage TONIGHT.  what a godawful mess.

lemme go do that now before I get too lubricated...

JC, why haven't i finished the FRIKKIN WEBSITE YET.omg I'M NOT READY....

OK, this is NOT the 1st tab anymore.  That would make a bad impressionm, and my sdpeed typing is bad enough for that all by itself.
Must
Concenrtate.

Why is it that every time I edit the site, I embellish the directions even more?  People are gonna think i'm a frikkin asshole or something....

OMFG, am I done?  WTF am I missing?  12:44   No, AM, on 11/16.  WTH is wrong with you?  If you SERIOUSLY think I EVER do anything early, you're nuts.
SHIT, DID we get the pictures for the 60th anniversary mugs?  I'm in trouble.....

11/10
Today is NOT 11/24, it's like 10/29 for F&%^ sake.  god i hate xmas....  (cents of humour, CENTS OF HUMOUR, you f___s )
(frikking hell on wheels, first day I'm trying to be funny and create, re-create ( THANKS GOOGLE!!!) the home page.
Hi Folks, Today is November 24th, well it WILL BE.  ( Isn't it ALWAYS Nov 24th?  How is it that the calendar ALWAYS FRIKKNG ENDS UP being Nov 24th on black friday?  Why is it BLACK friday?  How long is it until BLACK friday, as a measure of just how bad shopping days can POSSIBLY be, is frikkin renamed?  The fuck are they gonna call it? Columbus Friday because of all the bad shit Columbus did?  Grant Friday?  WTF... I'm sorry, I have anger management issues..)

11/09/2023 I haven't acstually  had enough yet to drink, to either be funny, or a smart-ass. ( Note, it is actually Nov 9th.  I have acstuaslly  had enouh to drionk  tonight, but i think the s9ite is mostly up to date.v   I'll fix the rest of the carp bfore c    11/25.

This is dunn OMG, Directions?  That MIGHT be a good idea.  New page, Directions!  P00F!
Jeesus, go oolk at the dIRECTIONS page if you wanna get here.  Is that so hard?
VERIFY directions r done and delete this1

))

Yeah, November something, like before, idk, 11/12?  close enough...

Yeah, this is the first tab, because, wtf not? Right?
BUT, I simply can't justify having so much incoherant fun on the home page.

SOMEONE STOP ME if I have too much fun on the home page.

Yeah, no such restraint here...

I've decided I need to stop using the word
FUCK
quite so much.  Not really due to any backlash from any fuccing particular,,, response?, umm.... backlash from the wife..., anything really???
I just decided last night that it looked kind of, ugly?, written down, on this website.  It's just not funny...
Mind you, in person, I shall be the foul mouthed motherfuccer you have always known and hated.  Just to be clear.

( wow, if you ever want to see stream of thought from an asshole, this is your chance.... )
((Yes, I do NOT have to go to work on vets day.  ALL honor to those who sacrificed SO much.  Seriously for one sentence in my life!  This is why I'm writing this so late, so drunk, so...  OK MOVE ON Bob!! Crikey ))
(((Just FYI, my son Robert the 3rd is in the USCG, so I'm NOT messing with the armed forces in any way.  Get That Straight Right Now.)))

OK, let me try to ACTUALLY provide some real info.  Yeah...

My usual disclaimer.  This website is intended to be VERY irreverent, and hopefully funny.

If you don't share my cents of humour, I'm terribly sorry.  Stop reading now and go away.
Seriously, scroll down a bit for The Official Crap.  ( Actually, the Official Crap is on the Home page... ) 

OK, yeah, I have attitude,

it's (its?)
((No, it's, as in "it is".  yes, that IS the proper punctuation.
((( Go ahead, deBATE ME on this crap.  Yeah, I have an apostrophe/catastrophe kind-of-attitude.
"it's" means  IT IS.  full stop, end of story.
its, or its' ( not truly sure about the usage here, as I *TRY* to use     " its'  "  to denote  possessive..  But  I know there is some , "difference of opinion" here?
      )))
))
an ATTITUDE.  Yeah, CLEARLY I have attitude.  AN Attitude.
Go ahead, re-read that last catastrophe of a paragraph, and provide me with a clearly written essay, and technical document, on the PROPER way I should have written it.
I'll be sure to take "you're" advice into consideration.  OMG, too much fun.

OMG, too much crap

OK, how in hell do I start a nnew section?

2024-11-30 - 12:20 am

OOOOH, is THIS how I insert a new section?
Let's see how it looks?

2024-11-30 - 12:24 am

OMFG.  THis works.
OK, all new dumb stuff at the bottom!

Crap.  glass is empty.  MUST refilll. brb

mmmmm, right next to the drink glass refill area:  Goya chicharones bags.  IDC how it's spelled.

WTF is my salt shaker?
Oh hell...
Yup, NOW we're havin' fun!
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=official+wasting+away+in+margaritaville+jimmy+buffett

OH, THERE's my salt shaker!  
( well hell.  Google photos just SUCKS my saltshakler right now, so I'll add My SaltShakerGrinder later.)
((if i remember.))
Whilst I eat my extra, personally, heavily salted Goya (omfg, why can't they make these eesee-er to spell? 
Chee cha rones, fried pork rinds! w00t! )

OK, for some reason, my turekey from yesterday is available, so let's try posting some of thiose.
OK, that does NOT work.
Let's try  to insert a pic LOWER.  FFS.....
OK, NO, I   CANNOT INSERT ANY ^&%$%$@%^%(^&^&*(&&*(&(%^*^&(%
gof  mad  dukkin pics RIGHT HERE, for some dag fmuffin  poofid  reesin.

*sigh*
1:15 am, and *MY* personal GDMF shaker of salt id STILLLL not availble frum pm mhone.
I geewss I'll do it another nite.
I have too shakerx of salt to share ast sum pount.

Uck.  I picked up smoked ones.  (Cheeckarones, or HTFE thewy get spellt )  They are not Good smoked.  They taste like they ewre smoked with plastic trash.  WTH?
They did NOT taste like this last time I ate em.  Like yesterday.

DAMNIT.  I still aet the most of the bagg.  NO CARBS!!!!!!!!!! W00T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( I Have WAAAY too much fun at 1 am, lol.  Luv you all ! )

2024-11-30  1:25 ?  really?  Is that it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPE1qPz0Bdo
Wait.

Is that REALLY Blake Lively?
Or is that some AI Dream?
Hevvens to Mergatroid...  Nite all..
Thiss is what happens whn yu send me back to my dungggen to slep..

2024-12-02  10:30PM  Yeah, spent myself, BEING myself, on the homepage and the doggie page.

Waiting now for the wife to come yell at me and make me be nice.  Then arguing and NOT being nice, and doing some compromise edits.
*IF* i was actually NOT being nice.

NEW REQUEST from you all, rock 'n roll for the top 15 of every hour, after noon? 
Of ffs, SOMEONE please actually make a change.org request, for black oak farm, for rock n roll, for the top 15 of every hour after noon.
I don't think Jen even knows this page exists, so please...

11:20 PM:
Just sent Jen on a review.  Let's see how much dumbness she finds.
She ALREADY found 1 MAJOR dumbness, about the # of trees and height, and other stuff.
It was a GREAT Find.
It's tuff to write when you're drinking!