Rituals of the Nacirema

M - R

Big Bird

From my studies on the Nacirema I have found out that the Nacirema believe in a sort of magical air travel, acting as a big bird and going to wherever they want. The only way they can achieve this is by getting a special “Magic Fly Man” to help startle the big bird into flight.

The Nacirema enter this large temple with many big birds waiting for them, in order to enter this exotic temple they shall present a magic slip of cut out silky material, then the Nacirema have to undergo a series of difficult tests to grant full access to the temple, they do this each time they want to enter the temple, it’s the same repeat for each Nacirema. Then strong and mighty guards who patrol the temple let in the Nacirema, allowing them to go through and wait for their big bird. There is a “Loud Mouth Man” That projects a voice throughout the temple, telling the Nacirema when they should go to their big bird and also telling them the time. The Nacirema worry that if they don’t arrive at the temple at the right time the big bird will get angry and leave them stranded. They believe in doing this so they go to places quicker then their regular 4 wheeled machines.

Once the big bird is ready for them, a certain number of hand picked Nacirema individuals will line up to go into the big bird, from my studies the big bird does not mind carrying people with them. Once everyone is placed inside the big bird they will find where they are designated to go and rest their bottoms on. Then a large number of people will pop out and welcome the Nacirema, they all greet them saying the exact same things, wearing the exact same hairstyles, and all the same tribal clothing. From my studies this is one big cult. Once everyone is happy and safe, the “Magic Fly Man” will tell the big bird a command, pressing magic stones and adjusting everything, startling the big bird into a flight up high into the air. Sometimes the big bird will lose control and start shaking a bit, but after only a few minutes the big bird is back to normal. Sometimes in the magic bird a small infant child, related to a certain Nacirema will break out in an exotic scream, magical water droplets cascading from the eyeballs of the small infant, causing all the Naciremas in the big bird to start getting aggravated, the magical scream will start to hurt the eardrums of the Nacirema’s, it will cause the Nacirema’s to undergo an intense series of mental trauma. After sometime the big bird lands where the Nacirema’s want to land. It will wait for everyone to get off as the cult members wave goodbye to the people, forcing smiles on their faces as the Nacirema all leave.

Here is how the Nacirema use the big bird to go where they’d like. It is a very interesting and exotic ritual and I am fascinated. I wonder how the Nacirema have done this for so long. It’s something I ponder about daily.

~ Polina M.

Morning Worship

The Nacirema believe they must give offerings to a higher deity each morning or they will stop receiving food and starve.

Every morning, after they wake up, the Nacirema will perform a sacred ritual. They start by taking a container of offerings, a magical potion, and a fragile rounded object. They mix the offerings and potions in the fragile object used as a container. They eat the mixture with a shiny object, but make sure not to eat all of it. They take the container and place it in a box attached to the wall, and leave it as an offering.

It seems they believe that if they don’t do this, or they eat all of the potion mixture, some higher being will cease to give them food, and they will all starve.

Interestingly enough, many adults choose to skip the ritual anyways, instead they drink dark, bitter elixirs that seem to clear their exhaustion.

The Nacirema certainly have a very strong belief in magic. But even despite forcing themselves to waste much of their food each day, the Nacirema have somehow managed to continue to survive.

~ Zoe P.

Holy Ritual Room

The Nacirema are a group of people who live next to 2 different oceans. They call the first ocean the “Citnalta” and the second ocean the “Cificap”. The Nacirema believe that they need to send their children to the Holy-Ritual-Room to get fed holy information from holy books.

The Nacirema force their children to the Holy-Ritual-Room for 6-7 hours each day, 175-180 days a year. The Nacirema start sending their children at age 5, and they stop at age 18. The children usually don’t want to go, but if they don’t they will get punished. Then the child will choose if they want to go for more years and get better in one specific ritual. The adults will usually encourage them to go. Some people even go for many more years. If you are late to the Holy-Ritual-Room you will have to get this magical slip. The magical slip allows you to go to the Holy-Ritual-Room Even if you are late. The Nacirema believe that if you are late too many times you should be kicked out and have to find a different one.

When you go to the Holy-Ritual-Room, most of the day you are forced to put the magical essence of plants resembling a ritual spell on thinly sliced pieces of trees. When you are done the adults will rate you on how well you resembled it. If you did bad enough your parents will also punish you for it. Some of the day you will be forced to do this strange ritual where you are forced to move until you can no more and then some. In the Holy-Ritual-Room you are forced to sit down for hours with little to no breaks.

In conclusion, the Nacirema force their children to go to the gruesome Holy-Ritual-Room every day to feed information to their brains. This ritual has allowed them to stay in power because their children are smarter. It is no wonder that they have kept this ritual going for many many years.

~ Adele O.

Hungry Beats

The Nacirema are a group of people that live to the south of the Métis. The Nacirema believe that you have to bow down to your rulers 2 to 3 times a day with a sphere shaped object filled with small offerings to show respect. If you don’t do this you will get a terrible punishment.

Everyday before the Nacirema’s leave for their assignments they have to feed their ruler(s). They know when to do this because their rulers will show three warnings. First they will use their wet slobbery nose to push around their oval-shaped sphere and make the most annoying sound ever. Second they will bounce up and down, and third they will howl. If you don’t notice these things they will feel forgotten but before they give up they will show you one last warning. The last thing they will do is make their 3d circles rain. After that the forgetting game is on. Every night you have to prepare for their 3 feasts. Some give their rulers freshly cut up roasted two legged, useless wing creatures made by finding the best one. Then they spend another hour preparing the two legged, useless wing creature by seasoning it with things that they grew in their green room for weeks, then they would cook it in a magic heat box for hours. Finally they cut it up in small little chewable bits for them to eat without breaking one of their sharp razors and stuff it into the opposite small box. If you don’t make it just like this or don’t give it to them they will chew up your soft comfy lounge.

You always have to show respect to your rulers. I wonder how the Nacirema have been able to survive for so long when caring for their Rulers takes up so much of their time.

~ Taylor P.

Lights Out

I have traveled to the Nacirema tribe and found out their way of living. The Nacireme say that if you do the Lights Out ritual you will be healthier and people won’t abandon you.

The Nacirema people are very diverse when it comes to this ritual. Some Nacirema people stare at ancient carvings before they rest. Some others get addicted to staring at a mystical box that they believe shows them all the known things in the universe. But most Nacirema people go to a shrine room before they rest.

They torture there teeth with mysterious fibers, poor pure liquid on themselves since they believe if they won’t they will become hideous and become an outcast. Most Nacirema people do this at night, but some do it in the morning. They rest on a mysterious block, and sometimes do it with others. They put on tribal clothes only at this time. They put a ceremonial cloth on their body for comfort.

Like I said before, The Nacirema says that if you do the Lights Out ritual you will be healthier and people won’t abandon you. How could The Nacirema survive all these years with this ritual every night and punishment for not doing it?

~ Nathan P.

The Sanity Calamity

The Nacirema are a magical and superstitious culture. They believe that in order to keep their sanity they need to practice and play an imaginative and surreal game. The main thing they believe is that their imagination gets worse and the only way to improve it is to play a magical game of warring groups of people.

The first step the Nacirema take to complete this ancient ritual game is to magically create a Human.

The way they create it is by using a magic dead squid dispenser. They dispense the dead squids into a bunch of symbols that only the Nacirema can read. Then, using the symbols, they can tell what their human is going to be like. Some of the most popular characters are the norbnogard, the fle, and the frawd. That's their background, after that they would choose their learning style.

The most popular learning styles are the draziw, the eguor, and the nairabrab. They use their learning styles to magically decide what their humans are going to do in their ritual war. They get to make their humans do funny things such as yell at other people. They also use magical cubes with dead squids on them. They spin the cubes in a way and mutter a prayer. They can only tell if the cube is good or bad. They then decide what to make their humans do. They can travel, try to kill, and assist.

I am mystified by the strange requirements that the Nacirema have put on themselves. Can you believe that the Nacirema believe that they are losing their sanity and they need to play a magical game to keep it? I wonder how the Nacirema have survived this long while playing this terrible sanity game.

~ Lucas R.

Moving Orbs

The Nacirema believe in suffering to go in circles and battle each other.

They sit on mystical seats and step on boxes many times as the orbs revolve. It requires foot protectors and head armor. Some tribe members battle while performing this. The Nacirema believe that torturing your body gives you a sense of joy as some might say. This ritual is also good for your body. This is a popular form of torture, many tribes participate in this activity.

The Nacirema does this ritual because they like being a part of a group. But, they worry if they don’t do this routine their tribe will lose strength. Or get a sense of pain throughout their bodies. What this ritual says about the Narcirema is that they have perseverance.

After studying the Nacirema, I wonder why they tortured themselves to battle in a circle for hours. Do you think it might’ve been difficult to keep up with this routine? What do you think?

~ Julia N.

Battle of the Tribes

The Nacirema have arena battles for fun. These battles happen every other day and even back to back days. These arena battles are a team sport in which two teams oppose one another on a holy 4 sided chapel.

These are some of the rules for these sacred battles.They compete with the primary objective of throwing a special spherical prism through the opposing troop’s 2 dimensional circular wheel. They have to be doing this while preventing the opposing horde from tossing the sacred orb through their own disc.

They move left and right to drop their opponents. They also change speed to make their opponents delusional. If they aren’t able to control their actions with their hands, the other tribe will embezzle the globe. They chuck the sphere to their teammates fast and hard so the sphere won’t get hijacked from their side.

Some people believe that if they won’t complete this ritual their rank will fall down and won’t be honored.

It’s surprising how the Nacirema use arena battles to entertain themselves. It’s amazing how they keep up with this ritual. All the fun and joy is what I think is how the Nacirema managed to keep the magical, secret ritual going

~ Ethan M.

Edible Objects

The Nacirema have a culture where edible objects build an important part of it. The Nacirema enjoy consuming a variety of different foods, and will commonly complete a ritual where a large group of Nacirema, usually tightly interconnected, will gather together and consume many large and small dishes of edible objects, saying spiritual phrases and combinations of sounds. They will also emit long and loud “mmmmmmm”s and “aaaaaaahhhh”s. It is said that these sounds are used to show the person who made the edible objects that they taste really good.

One of the extremely popular edible objects that the Nacirema consume is a large thin edible material, and then they will pile many different materials on top of the first one, and fold it into a half-circle. The Nacirema will commonly then add edible liquids of varying viscosity on top of the finished product. The Nacirema usually eat it by grabbing it with their hands and taking large bites, while emitting the previously mentioned “mmmmmm”s. It is considered rude for the Nacirema to remove small pieces of the product that are on their hands onto their clothes. They will commonly take a piece of fabric, which is sometimes exquisitely colored, and wipe their hands and mouths on it. It is important for the Nacirema to express their gratitude to the people who make consumable products and also there are many rules which the Nacirema need to heed when eating.

Some Nacirema said, using their language that spread across the world to tell me what they think about the ritual. Many said that they would miss the good feelings they endure when eating the product I already mentioned. The Nacirema said they do this routine because they enjoy consuming a diverse collection of edible materials. The Nacirema also commonly will eat little triangle-shaped thin pieces of consumable material along with a viscous paste of a green color when they eat the half-circle edible object with different fillings.

As evident from my anthropology studies, the Nacirema have many rules on how not to be rude when consuming edible materials and enjoy eating a lot of different types of edible objects from different cultures. The Nacirema commonly express gratitude to other Nacirema by giving them generous gifts.

~ Matvei P.

Saving Feet

The Nacirema believe that putting on these fur-coated foot covings with an elastic substance on the bottom of their feet would keep their feet warm and make them feel different than everyone else in their tribe! This is a ritual that they do when usual outside, but also can be done inside too. Why would they do this ritual?

These fur-coated foot coverings are made out of cows. How you might ask is well the leather is from the cow and they use the cow’s skin to make these fur-coated socks. When they make these with their hand it takes a lot of time if you have a bigger foot size! You might be wondering how they look, well imagine your foot with a layer of protection. One reason it can look like that is because of how your feet look! An since you can easily slip on the socks it is really easy to take them places. If the color you want the color to be blue for example you would need to use the blue color from blueberries. What would you do want the style of your brand new fur-coated foot covering to look like?

I think the Nacirema do it because it can be fun the put them on so then you could play some games with your friend. When put on these fur-coated socks you could feel special in a fun way and would keep your feet clean.

~ Nika R.

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