Suicide Prevention Month 2025 Part I: Toxic Fandoms & Communities

I have mentioned in the past how dangerous these social circles and platforms that house them are because it can and will ruin your overall enjoyment of said media/medium and subject matter. I'm not here trying to condemn every fandom, community, Discord server, nor social network. No, I want readers of this post to heed my warnings that these so-called "safe havens" can be collectively more detrimental to your mental health and a contributing factor to suicide just the same as any single individual or other variety of circumstances. 

It's no secret - I'm a habitual lurker across multiple Discord servers, message boards, forums, and communities, ranging from the IWC (internet wrestling community), various comic book fans arguing whether or not "the MCU is dead", or if their favorite wrestling company/outlet is the only one that matters all because that is the only one that they watch and anything that doesn't tickle their fancies (and cater to their particular interests, fetishes, and preferences) is immediately labelled as inferior. I have experienced my joy being stripped away by the very same communities/fandoms that I thought I shared a kinship and sense of belonging, multiple times over the years. 

Today, I'm going to share several examples and experiences that negatively affected my mental health. 

The most recent example was from the subsection of the superhero fandom that primarily centers around She-Hulk when the She-Hulk: Attorney at Law series launched on Disney+. I could ignore the people who dismissed the show after the first episode for "mansplaining how to be a Hulk" to Jennifer when she was clearly different than Bruce and lived a very different life than Bruce. Instead of acknowledging that I found enjoyment in the show and allowing me to live with that in peace, I was barraged at every opportunity from that same fandom week-in and week-out about how the show wasn't worth my time (or anyone else's) and anyone who enjoyed it wasn't a "real" She-Hulk fan. This wasn't from strangers looking and fishing for clickbait views on the Internet. No, this was from the same people who I thought I had formed some sort of fellowship with. And when I presented my counter points in a coherent manner (same points I presented in my review on the Disney+ series) - they were instantly shot down and completely dismissed because I was WRONG outright by liking the show in any capacity - even when the one of the writers of one of the most decorated versions of her comics said it was as accurate as you were going to get to his work in a live-action setting. Once again, that wasn't good enough for that fandom since their head canon convinced them that the ONLY proper interpretation of that character is the one that has been at the forefront of the FMG (female muscle growth) fetish and related NSFW content that they jerk off to. I'm not even making this up. I'm merely stating what that majority of the fandom explicitly and specifically stated outright, where they confessed and unanimously agreed that they hated the show solely because it didn't cater to their fetishes surrounding the character. I could understand, acknowledge, emphasize, and relate to the gripes concerning the lack of effort in the paralegal side of the show's writing and the minimal amount of transformations between Jennifer into her super-powered counterpart, but that's a whole different issue altogether in terms of how Marvel Studios mishandled their budget for that show in terms of visuals. In terms of being angry at a show all because it's not catering to your specific tastes and preferences is completely asinine. I couldn't resonate with that way of thinking so I distanced myself away from that fandom and specifically those Discord servers of fans who share that same mindset. I made the mistake of trying to hang onto the few hinges of people that I did resonate with and got along with and stayed among the community, despite being treated like a second rate citizen in said community. It came to a tipping point when I clashed and butted heads with that particular server's administrator, who just happened to be one of the fandom's most decorated content creators in terms of fan-fiction writers. 

So, you get the idea. His opinion was treated as law whether you agreed to it or not; that's just how it goes in that part of the fandom. He made a habit of making snide remarks about things that he didn't agree with or dismissed as inferior to his own way of thinking. Case in point came when I shared my counter-points in defense of the Disney+ show when he opened the floor for discussion on said show. That same admin ganged up on me with other users to undermine and dismiss my opinion, only to glaze and support the people who hated it. I took pride in the fact that the D+ show highlights the trauma and importance of Jennifer's mental health in terms of juggling her own identity and these powers. That was something I resonated with a lot, especially as someone who is no stranger to ongoing struggles with coping with one's mental health. So to see this fandom completely dismissing the importance of mental health was a slap to the face. At that point, I was fed up with being disrespected in this fandom and promptly left after privately DMing the admin and telling him what I thought of him and his so-called community. He gave me a half-assed apology and tried to coerce me back but I have stayed away from that fandom for over two years now. 

You would think that it would end there but nope. I had one more altercation/encounter with this admin where he made another dismissive remark in the wake of my artwork and creative writing being stolen due to AI and another user blatantly copying and reposting my work as their own. I didn't even acknowledge him with a response and just blocked him from all of my socials. Good riddance.

It sucks when you point this out to people in these particular fandoms, they get very defensive and offended, but that's what happens when you try to critique people's fetishes. I usually tend to keep my opinions like this on this matter to myself, but this is a rare opportunity to do so on this blog so I'm leaving the floor open in that regard. There's little to nothing I can do to convince those people otherwise when so many of those content creators, whether they are artists or writers, are championed as the best of the best and who aspire to be like on those platforms, mediums, and genres. Speaking up against them is seen as trying to tear down everything that that particular creator that their fandom have placed on a pedestal have built.

I'm not going through that again when I have been wrongfully torn down by a token creator and his fandom/followers just because he THOUGHT my own work was ripping off his own when I didn't even know who he was in the 15-20+ years of me being on DeviantArt up to that point nor have ever seen his work until he wrongfully accused me. (Laughs) I still find it amusing that the same particular individual who won't be named still follows me on all of my platforms and regularly likes and comments on my work, yet never gives me an apology for that shit.

I had already cited the proper credits and recognition in terms of who discovered or contributed the data collected in that guide. The problem I had was that I did all of the work compiling the information for the guide, yet there were people in that community like this fool who wanted all of the credit for themselves yet didn't help me in ANY capacity. Of course, I told this entitled asshole no and he tried to turn me into public enemy #1 for hoarding the information to myself when I made my Google Doc viewable by request only. Fuck that. I did the work and he (and others like him) wanted me to surrender authoring credits to him and other "pros" the credit just because they are more knowledgeable and it looks better coming from them because of their credibility? That didn't sit well with me at all so I revoked all access to it since it was my Google Docs file after all and to this day, it's only available online per email request only. I only worked on it up to before the release of Ultra Street Fighter IV and stopped once I felt the community was trying to take my hard work and effort out of my hands. 

At that point, I had my fill of the "wannabe thug" mentality of the FGC anyway where a vast majority of these people and internet personalities just want to throw their weight around at the expense of putting down others in hopes of getting mainstream fame like the rest of the eSports crowd.

It was already bad enough this guy was the same clown who was constantly criticizing how I played Chun-Li online when I asked for help and sparred with people, saying that I wasn't serious nor devoted enough to level up - yet, I was still beating his "students" that he was assigning me to face for practice. Then he got even madder when I beat him too on a constant basis to the point that he said that I wasn't worth instructing to bring up to "his level". Eventually, I got sick of butting heads with that guy and bowed out from that group and never really looked back. I would play in my last Street Fighter IV local tournament shortly thereafter in Ultra Street Fighter IV and wash my hands of that community altogether.

After I washed my hands with Street Fighter IV, I pretty much ex-communicated myself from the rest of the FGC after similar situations from other FGC-related communities like those previously mentioned or others where groups tried to guilt-trip members into crowd-funding other players' trips to Evolution Tournament Series or other regional and local major tournaments, especially by one particular player who I won’t reveal out of respect to the dead. Look, I'm not funding no one else's hobbies nor am I just going to tournaments to "support the scene" just to pay to lose when I'm not even playing said games. 

This shit wasn't sitting well with me at all and I had enough. Sure, I might dabble in fighting games here and there, but I stopped calling myself a fighting game player nor do I identify myself as a part of that community/scene anymore. 

For a long time, I didn't understand what that guy's deal was until I saw that very same individual was exposed for multiple accounts of sexual assault to women back in 2019. He’s been banned from attending tournaments and is allegedly “seeking professional help to start the healing process”. And just to clarify, I don't hate the FGC. I have seen that community come together and do some beautiful things to support a good cause over the years and still do to this day, but on the same note, I have seen a lot of the people who are “well-respected”, decorated "greats" and legends in that community get slapped on the wrist, pardoned, and excused for misconduct and foul deeds that would see anyone else get demonized and blacklisted from other social circles for life. A lot of that stuff gets swept under the rug to save face/protect those top names' images and that's not good. You can miss me with that double standard bullshit.

NoDQ has a great blog post/opinion piece on why that particular writer believes that the IWC is dying and why they believe this is happening. In that piece, the author stated that the IWC is dying out for several reasons, but one that stuck out to me is the fact that a lot of people don't consider the Internet an escape from reality anymore. That spoke volumes to me. Now more than ever, you need an escape from your escape from reality when both suck and are both collectively harming your mental health. That is why I stay at arms' length in a lot of communities. 

Over the past week while I am even writing this blog post, we see the toxicity come to outstanding heights from the fallout from the real life tragedies in multiple shootings in the United States, no matter where you stand on the political spectrum in terms of those parties and ideologies. Readers of this blog and those who follow my social media are well aware that I’m toy collector, but by no means I call myself a part of that community, especially when stuff in like this show up in the news and the majority of that scene goes radio silence since it was one of their most decorated content creators who got exposed for misconduct. I’m personally disgusted that more people aren’t speaking out against that individual. Instead, they are more concerned with "saving face" or protecting their own brands by association when people know that they have collaborated in the past. It's no secret, but most of you reading this blog know that I'm a Carolina native and now I feel extra self-conscious when I'm browsing in toy aisles and/or collectors' sections at retailers when I see children unattended there. I quickly move out of the way before someone tries to lump me with that clown who did some real disgusting shit - not like it's already bad enough that people gawk at you like a goddamn weirdo as is in public when you're an adult looking at toys anyway. I will spare you from the laundry list of confidence issues I have that are contributed from attempting to participate in art communities and related social circles. Let's just say that I don't click with any community where you only thrive and enjoy it from kissing the asses of the "big/top names" and worshipping them like mindless sheep. Still, I get it all the time from my art peers and mentors that I should participate in those social circles...