WWE Royal Rumble (2023) -- Results & Afterthoughts

The 2023 Royal Rumble was the 36th annual Royal Rumble professional wrestling pay-per-view (PPV) and livestreaming event produced by WWE. It was held for wrestlers from the promotion's Raw and SmackDown brand divisions. The event took place on Saturday, January 28, 2023, at the Alamodome in San Antonio, Texas as part of the Alamodome's 30th-anniversary celebration. It was the fourth Royal Rumble event to be held in San Antonio after the 1997, 2007, and 2017 events and the third to take place at the Alamodome, following 1997 and 2017. It was also WWE's first event to be livestreamed on Binge in Australia as the WWE Network service in Australia merged with Binge, a streaming service owned by WWE's Australian rightsholder Foxtel.

Traditionally, the Royal Rumble match winner receives a world championship match at that year's WrestleMania. For the 2023 event, only the women's match winner received a choice of which world championship to challenge for at WrestleMania 39. As the Raw's WWE Championship and SmackDown's Universal Championship are both held and defended together as the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship, the men's winner received a match for the tandem titles, while the women had their choice between the Raw or SmackDown Women's Championship. While the Royal Rumble match is typically the main event of the card, this was the seventh Royal Rumble in which the match was not the main event, after 1988, 1996, 1997, 1998, 2006, and 2013. It was also the first Royal Rumble where the eponymous match opened the event.

Rey Mysterio suffered some sort of an injury in his match with Karrion Kross the previous night on Friday Night SmackDown! so they used that as an opportunity to generate more heel heat for his son Dominik Mysterio as he came out wearing Rey's mask when Rey didn't enter the match. I glad to see Santos Escabar representing Legado del Fantasma in this match despite the rest of his stablemates being nowhere to be seen in this match. 

Speaking of Karrion Kross, I'm sensing a bit of a Marc Mero-Sable situation brewing in terms of his reception in that company. They definitely have to be having buyers' remorse on not just Kross, but a lot of those people they brought back over the past year - many of whom wasn't even in this match period (Bronson Reed, HitRow, Dexter Lumis to name a few...) - aren't getting the reactions and receptions that many would have thought they would have after the honeymoon period ended. Looking at right at you, Johnny Gargano... I find it ironic that more people are seeing the same thing that I'm seeing now that we're past the honeymoon period of Kross being back in the company. I said it back when he was in IMPACT Wrestling and I'll say the same thing again that I said when he was a part of NXT: I don't see what is the big deal about him. He gives great promos and has an intensity about him visually, but as Bruce Pritchard would say on his podcasts, "And then the bell rung..." The bell would ring and this guy straight up bores me. The only reason I was happy to see him enter this match was to see what outfit Scarlett would come out wearing. Of course, she wouldn't even stick around at ringside (i.e. the same reason I was salty about Miz entering this match and Maryse was nowhere to be seen) to kill my buzz altogether. 

While we're on the subject of people who need to be reevaluated on their current creative directions, I'm BEGGING this company to scrap this SHOOOSH shit with Chad Gable and Otis. I much rather see Chad Gable go down to NXT and serve as a mentor and new leader for Diamond Mine in the wake of Roderick Strong's absence. Otis could make for a good third man for Briggs and Jensen's "Southern Boys" style tag team/stable if they want to keep up with the comedy there. 

It was pretty cool to see the Banger Bros, Drew McIntyre and the birthday boy himself Sheamus, going through most of the opposition together in this match. It was hilarious that WWE were calling them the Banger Bros without considering the fact that there's a porn site called Bang Bros. This was the whole "Submission Sorority" (that got changed to Team PCB during the height of the Women's Revolution) mess all over again. 

I get shit all the time when I mention how much I can't stand the New Day's act, but my feelings haven't changed in the least. They enter this match, take down the opposition, only to devolve into comedy where they are slapping each other on the ass like a bunch of traveling goofs. Once you get that "traveling goof" label by me, it's VERY hard for me to take you serious anymore. As a fellow black man, I'm glad to see my people succeeding in this company, but at the same time, I don't have to be enamored with the gimmick either. I laughed my ass off when Kofi got tossed out of the ring and didn't get to do his comeback spot. Glad he wasn't hurt but WALTER wasn't having any of his and Woods' goofy shit. 

This match follows a lot of the obvious "Rumble patterns". When you see them start piling in a ton of the underneath/midcard talent without any eliminations for an extended period, you know a big name or a giant/powerhouse is about to enter the match. The first time that happened in this match was when Brock Lesnar entered at #12. Brock cleaned house until Bobby Lashley entered right after him at #13 to promptly eliminate him - obviously for payback for their one-sided feud where Brock shows up and thoroughly kicks his ass on the weekly shows or costs him an important win. I know that they are planting the seeds to another Lashley/Lesnar match, but I seriously doubt that they are going to milk that feud until WrestleMania. I see them blowing that off at the Elimination Chamber next month (February). Brock would take out his frustrations on Baron Corbin, allowing Seth Rollins to instantly take out Corbin after rolling him into the ring. 

The latter half of this match was mostly dominated by the Judgment Day faction until Edge came out to eliminate both Finn Balor and Damian Priest. While I'm happy that Priest is getting the rub as part of that faction, I think they could be doing so much more with him. He comes off more as who should be the leader of that group (if not Rhea Ripley from her sheer amount of popularity and powerful presence alone...) who has some bass in his voice and doesn't sound like either a preteen or a goddamn nerd when he speaks unlike Balor and Dominik, but that's just my opinion. Even Beth Phoenix got in on the action with a little bit of payback on Rhea Ripley after Edge got Balor and Priest eliminated. I thought this was going to play up into the Women's Rumble Match later in the show, but we'll get to that later... 

I had to laugh at the comments I saw live during the show complaining and whining about Montez Ford not getting a lengthy run in this match. Tag teams are just thrown in here to be extra bodies to throw around and to pad this match out in terms of filling in the gaps. Anyone with a fully functioning brain should know that him and Dawkins weren't winning this match. Goodness. 

By the time they got around the Omos and Braun Strowman in this thing, I was looking at my watch going, "OK people, let's start wrapping this thing up..."

I can't deny that the final four in this match was a great showcase of the landscape of WWE's future (and one current) main eventers: Cody Rhodes, WALTER (Gunther), Logan Paul, and Seth "Freakin'" Rollins. You could slot in any of those guys in a main event against Roman Reigns or against each other and have bangers on those cards.

Speaking of "bangers", that springboard spot between Logan Paul and Ricochet was pure insanity. I'm all for a WrestleMania match between those two, even though it is looking like they set up Logan Paul against Seth Rollins given the fact that Paul cost him the match. They could easily do Paul against Ricochet on another PPV's undercard and still have it as an attraction worth investing into. I'll gladly check that out. Ricochet has been on that roster for several years now and it's long past due for WWE to recognize what they have in him in terms of an exceptional talent instead just another warm body on that roster. They wouldn't be taking much of a risk if they chose to take a chance on the guy by pushing him higher up on the card. I honestly thought that him and Strowman's tag team antics in the endgame of this match were pretty entertaining to watch. If they want to give those two guys something to do as a tag team for a while, I wouldn't be opposed to it as it would give them a new purpose in terms of injecting some new blood/faces into that bland tag team division and something for those singles guys to do when we know they won't be sniffing anywhere near singles gold anytime soon. 

When the match came down to the #30 spot with Cody Rhodes as the final entrant, I can't say that I was really enamored with his placement into this match to say that this company hyped up his return and made it so obvious that he was going to win it. I thought they would have made him enter the match in the middle and fight from underneath to make it at least somewhat of a struggle, but boy was he in for a mountain to climb. WALTER (Gunther) needs to be applauded for his performance in this match. He lasted well over an hour by the time him and Cody were the final two participants in this match, only engage with Cody for another 8 minutes as if it was a singles match without showing any signs of fatigue. WALTER definitely deserves every bit of praise for his performance here and his own physical transformation to get into the amazing shape that he is in currently. The sky's the limit here for Imperium's Ring General. He definitely lived up to his moniker with this showing. WALTER may have lost here, but he definitely has several potential opponents just waiting on the wings to dance with. I think there's no doubt about his future looking bright on the main roster. You guys don't know how scared I was for him and the rest of Imperium to be jobbed out by D-Generation X's millionth reunion on Raw XXX six days prior. Fortunately, that didn't happen and it speaks volumes that WWE allowed him to go the distance in this match. 

I can't speak for anyone else but I lost my shit and marked the hell out at the sight of Asuka returning with her "Murder Clown Kana" facepaint on. She immediately became my favorite to win here. 

This is a minor change, but definitely worth making note of as Piper Niven returned in this match under her previous moniker from NXT UK. The "Doudrop" name has been put to bed. Good riddance. If we can get NXT UK Piper Niven on the main roster, then that would be even better too. I never thought she was a bad worker; she's actually great really, especially from seeing her stuff prior to signing with WWE. I just thought that entire Doudrop gimmick was dead on arrival for her and did nothing to help her get over on the main roster. 

I was happy to see Roxanne Perez get to make her Royal Rumble debut this year by taking part of this Women's Rumble Match - as a home state native no less. It was a little odd to see her without the NXT Women's Championship around her waist during her entrance, especially when they have a PLE (Premium Live Event) to promote coming up next weekend (NXT Vengeance Day), but I'll give them a pass for that. It amazes me time and time again with how talented she is to be so young. It's no wonder Booker T and Lance Storm's students are getting signed by almost every promotion left and right. I will be VERY surprised if Roxanne isn't part of the main roster by this time next year. She fits in with those girls well already.

Chelsea Green made her "not-so-surprising" return to the company in this match (after departing from IMPACT Wrestling a few weeks ago), with new music no less. I was bummed out that she didn't come back to her "Monster" theme song from NXT. Chelsea was eliminated from this match as soon as she entered it, setting a new record in the process. I saw a lot of people giving her props for the appearance but I don't see what's there to celebrate about this joke of a debut and elimination unless something comes out of it storyline wise. I guess we shall wait and see in that regard. 

When the commentators pointed out Michelle McCool in the crowd earlier in the show, I thought we were going to get an American Bad Ass Undertaker entry into the Men's Rumble since we saw that gimmick pop up at Raw XXX five nights prior. In hindsight, I'm glad we didn't as people would have been pissed off that he entered that match and didn't win. McCool ended up entering this match, which she said in an interview after the show that it was due to "overwhelming fan demand". I wonder where it was coming from as I know haven't seen the "Diva stans" on Twitter pining over her to be in this match. They always want the usual suspects to show up: Lita, Trish, Melina, Victoria, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Layla, the Bella Twins, Alicia Fox, etc. along with a surprise from those eras that we haven't seen in a while, such as Molly Holly, Ivory, Jacqueline, Summer Rae, Kaitlyn, etc. I wasn't never a fan of McCool during her tenure of competing during the Diva Search era, so you know I wasn't clamouring to see her back. I will give her credit for still being in amazing shape despite not competing in matches anymore. I remember hearing some rumors about her against Charlotte Flair at one point and I laughed knowing that she wouldn't come back just to take the L to Charlotte. I don't think she's as generous as Trish Stratus in that regard. 

I was actually surprised that Raquel Rodriguez didn't go the distance in this match as she was unceremoniously eliminated not too long after she entered this match too. Boy, that didn't make her look good after all of that boasting to Liv Morgan over the last few weeks about dominating this match. I guess she can't be too mad about that elimination when Rhea Ripley was the one who took her out, so the seeds are planted for that feud down the road if Rhea dethrones Charlotte Flair for the SmackDown! Women's Championship. 

Sometimes I tend to forget how tall Indi Hartwell is. She towers over a lot of the other women in this match like a grown adult on a playground with children. Much like Raquel, she was another one of these "giant" women that I was surprised that didn't last longer in this match. Indi should have been main roster bound ages ago if we're being honest. She's not a bad worker and they could use another woman of her size to mix things up in the women's division(s). 

Michin (Mia Yim) and Lacey Evans entered this match as well but neither did anything of note. This isn't even a knock against Mia Yim but do they even have a plan on what to do with her outside of slotting her with the Good Brothers? I thought she had a good run going in IMPACT when she returned there last year after her WWE release with so many, but it totally blindsided me when I heard that she left to come back here. 

Is Lacey Evans supposed to be the female Sgt. Slaughter now since she's using the Cobra Clutch? I honestly don't care after she's had more gimmick and heel/face changes than Big Show at this point. Her best gimmick was her first one on NXT and I just knew that they were going to shit the bed on her when she got rushed up to the main roster. That was a gimmick for a smaller stage like NXT and not for WWE's main roster. They never gave her a chance to figure that out. Instead, she's been repackaged and rehashed so many times that I'm sure she doesn't even know who or what she's supposed to be out there anymore. It didn't help that she shot herself in the foot with her unsavory comments on social media that I'm not even going to into here, so there goes her chances of getting over like a white meat Southern babyface in the vein of GLOW's Liberty Belle.

The final three in this match were Asuka (who was sporting her Murder Clown Kana facepaint), Rhea Ripley, and Liv Morgan with the latter two women entering this match at the #1 and #2 spots respectively. I was ready to write this match off completely when they teased it that Liv Morgan was going to win this match, only for Asuka's mist to blind Liv instead, thus allowing Rhea to take advantage of the confusion to eliminate them both. 

I'll admit that I was a bit muffed that Rhea Ripley picked up the win here. Given the angle that they pulled during the Men's Rumble Match that saw Rhea being "hurt" by Beth Phoenix in an expected attack, I thought they were setting her up to have an out in this match. Instead, that attack ended up being a non-issue with Rhea Ripley enduring throughout this entire match from the start to finish as the winner. I thought Asuka's gimmick change would have justified her winning this match. To a lesser extent, I would have accepted Liv Morgan in that spot too given her vast improvement over the past year. As of the 2/6/23 edition of Monday Night RAW, Rhea Ripley is set to challenge Edge and Beth Phoenix with her Judgment Day stablemate Finn Balor in her corner at the Elimination Chamber. I have to admit that I'm a little confused by all of this. So does this means if Beth and Edge beat Rhea and Finn does that mean that Beth could challenge Charlotte Flair at WrestleMania instead? It would have been a lot less complicated if they just booked Rhea to ultimately lose due to Beth Phoenix's inclusion in this match for payback.

While I'll admit that this finish was leaps and bounds better than the finish in the Men's Rumble Match earlier tonight, I can't give the rest of this match a free pass because of it. At least 80-90% of this match was either poorly booked or just flat out boring and completely uninteresting to watch. I know a lot of people don't want to hear this but a lot of wrestling companies, including WWE, need to have a "come to Jesus" conversation about exactly how much women's wrestling do we need on every card, especially when there's not abundance of them aren't top tier caliber talent that deserves to be featured in lengthy matches like this when their flaws and shortcomings are highly noticeable. Think about it. WWE has a least 60-80 women signed to the company in active competition between the main roster and in development, but only at least 15-20 (I'm being generous) are considered to be the cream of the crop, with even less than that are capable of carrying and marketing a WrestleMania-worthy bout. When you fill up a match like this with of a laundry list of lackluster talent and very few A List talent, you're just giving the critics who don't want to see women's wrestling at all more ammunition to justify their claims that this shouldn't be on the card(s) at all or for casual viewers to regard as the bathroom break match. Before people get mad at me and pull out the torches and pitchforks, I want to say that I think that WWE has a lot of promising talent both in development and currently on the main roster that are scratching and clawing to break out into being the next female main event star on the same level as a Charlotte Flair or Becky Lynch, but piss poor booking and a lack of creative direction isn't doing any of these women any favors no matter how talented they are in/out of the ring. That's always going to be two major obstacles that they would need to overcome in any wrestling company and not just in WWE.