WrestleMania 39: Nights 1 & 2 -- Results & Afterthoughts

Singles Match for the WWE United States Championship

Austin Theory (c) defeated John Cena by pinfall

Without a shadow of a doubt, Austin Theory picked up the win over John Cena. After those promos where Cena verbally buried Theory six feet under, I was having deja vu back to those verbal burials before his match with The Rock. If Theory didn't win here, then there was absolutely no recovery/bouncing back from that. Theory has had a rough time as is on the main roster. He DESPERATELY needed this win over Cena. 

I'm sure there's people disappointed that he won't be around to revive the US title open challenges for the RAW After Mania, but I never saw him sticking around long term anyway. Cena's a VERY busy guy these days on Hollywood, between DC Studios and now the Fast & Furious franchise, along with his other miscellaneous projects. I'm just glad that he had time to shoe in a WrestleMania appearance. 

Besides, how can you hate this guy when he brought out all of his recent Make-A-Wish kids out for his entrance. Class act right there. 

Men's WrestleMania Showcase Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Match

The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) defeated Braun Strowman and Ricochet, Alpha Academy (Chad Gable and Otis), and The Viking Raiders (Erik and Ivar) (with Valhalla) by pinfall

A lot of people, myself included, long regarded this match as the ultimate bathroom break when it was announced. I guess that these teams came out to make a statement as everyone got a lot of shine and fun spots in this match, making it an entertaining tag team match to watch. I wasn't really pulling for anyone to win here, but I was happy to see the Street Profits go over. 

On a side note, Valhalla (the former Sarah Logan) was wearing an incredible costume. I would love to see a close-up full body shot of that intricate costume in detail. 

I know I say it almost every time I see the Alpha Academy, but I'm BEGGING Triple H to scrap this SHOOOOSH!! shit with Chad Gable and turn him babyface. That crowd exploded into cheers when he busted out the Chaos Theory (Rolling German Suplex). The fact that this company has Gable and Ricochet signed and aren't booking them to fully utilize their talents and spotlight them should be regarded as a cardinal sin at this point. 

Singles Match

Seth "Freakin" Rollins defeated Logan Paul (with KSI) by pinfall

Ever since this match was teased and set up from the Royal Rumble to Elimination Chamber, EVERYONE knew it was going to be great. They didn't disappoint in the least. If the talk about Logan Paul's contract expiring on his birthday (April 1st) then WWE should have pulled him into a room after this match and ink out a new deal as soon as he walked back through gorilla. As of this posting (4/10/23), Logan Paul has tweeted that he's renewed his contract with WWE, so he's not going anywhere. 

I, along with everyone on social media, thought that Paul's buddy, KSI, was R-Truth hiding underneath the soft drink mascot costume who came to Paul's aid towards the end of this match. It didn't help that he was wearing a headband like Truth normally wears too. I wasn't even going to pretend like I knew who that clown was. He added absolutely nothing to this match. 

If I was Triple H, I would have been mad as hell that Logan Paul kicked out of my finish towards the end there, but I'm not going to lie, Paul sold the shit out of it though so I can't hate on it that much. Rollins hit one hell of a Curb Stomp to finish him off and to seal the deal. 

Six-Woman Tag Team Match

Trish Stratus, Lita, and Becky Lynch defeated Damage CTRL (Iyo Sky, Dakota Kai, and Bayley) by pinfall

Trish Stratus was definitely looking her best since the heights of her fineness back during the Attitude Era with that outfit that was pending wardrobe malfunction that was waiting to happen while Lita wasn't hard on the eyes either. I thought this match was fine for what it was worth with some creative spots to make Trish and Lita look like they could still hang with the current roster of women's wrestlers, but this match wasn't without it's rough around the edges moments too. Overall, you could tell that all parties involved were just having a blast getting to work with women they've either dreamed of working a match with and/or inspired them to become wrestlers themselves.

That's one reason I really can't knock this match too much. It was a match and that's all really needed to be in terms of capturing the nostalgia of Trish and Lita coming back on a big stage like this and teaming up together with Becky Lynch against Bayley, Iyo Sky, and Dakota Kai. 

After this, I hope this whole Becky versus Damage CTRL feud is over. That feud has been beaten over our heads as much as Edge's with the Judgment Day faction. I'm ready to see all parties involved move onto something else. I know that there's talks about Bayley considering leaving WWE much like her best friend Sasha Banks, but I'm taking that with a grain of salt right now. If it pans out, then I see Iyo and Kai dead in the water unless Iyo Sky and Asuka form some sort of faction. I selfishly want to see Iyo and Asuka in a significant program of some capacity against each other in this company to be honest though. If Kai and Bayley went back babyface, I could see that working out if they were to be some sort of babyface underdog tag team. Even as a singles wrestler, I thought Dakota Kai had that appeal/potential down on NXT to follow in Bayley's footsteps in that regard. The biggest hurdle would be making fans care about her at this point given her poor booking as part of the Damage CTRL stable. 

Rey giving Dom the ass-whoopin' that he's had coming for months now on the Grandest Stage of Them All.

Singles Match for the WWE SmackDown Women's Championship

Rhea Ripley defeated Charlotte Flair (c) by pinfall

This rematch was easily the one of, if not arguably THE best match to come out of WrestleMania weekend between the men or the women as a whole. You could tell that both women had a chip on their shoulders to deliver here since they weren't getting the main event spot on Night 1 that ultimately went to The Usos defending their WWE Tag Team titles against Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. While I've argued over the past week on social media that they should have gotten that spot since the Bloodline, specifically Sami Zayn, has been garnering all of the attention from most viewers and has been essentially carrying the buzz of WWE on his back for the majority of the past year. Rhea Ripley has raised her stock value significantly since joining up with the Judgment Day faction and kicked up even further with her on-screen relationship with Dominik Mysterio. All of that being said, WWE hasn't put any significant amount of effort into any of the women's storylines going into WrestleMania. They got their matches booked and that was it outside of a few promos here and there. I'm sure a lot of people shared the same sentiment as me where you mentally checked out on the build but had your anticipation high on the matches themselves. 

For Rhea Ripley and Charlotte Flair, they knocked out of the park and then some. I have seen people call this the best women's wrestling match in North American wrestling history and while I can't go that far in good conscience, I thought this was a stellar performance for both women. This isn't the nervous, unsure Rhea Ripley that Charlotte Flair fought a few years ago during those pandemic/lockdown shows. This was a different beast entirely. The people were firmly behind Rhea to win this (and rightfully so) with Charlotte pegged as the heel, even though WWE booking had them both horribly miscast in this feud. We all know that Charlotte excels more as a heel, but was presented as a babyface since her return at the tailend of 2022. Rhea Ripley's case was a tad problematic as everyone wants to cheer for her but she has been doing so well as this dominatrix crossed with Mad Max-style heel in the Judgment Day that it's hard not cheer for her. Plus she has a look and presence unlike anyone else in WWE right now that really raises her stock value and marketability even higher. 

Charlotte Flair is set to take another vacation following this defeat with her saying in a post-match interview that she firmly believes that her title is in the right hands with Rhea Ripley. I'm anxious to see where they go next with Rhea. They can't keep her as this tweener/heel forever with the people firmly behind her like this, especially when she's still running with the Judgment Day and I know that they don't want to split up Dominik and Rhea anytime soon. Then again, this previous match saw that Dominik can garner and maintain his heel all on his own, so who knows. WWE might be daring enough to turn Rhea face again. 

Minor gripe but I have mentioned it a lot on social media, but I still don't care for Rhea's current entrance music. I understand that it was necessary for the evolution for her current gimmick/character development, but "Brutality" was a MUCH better theme for her. I'm reminded of that every single time it comes up on my Spotify playlist.

Tag Team Match for the Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn defeated The Usos (Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso) (c) by pinfall

When Sami Zayn failed to defeat Roman Reigns and capture the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship at Elimination Chamber, everyone was adamant about that was it for Sami Zayn as there wasn't a good WrestleMania moment in store for him unless he was either added to the Cody/Roman match to make it a triple threat (much like the Randy Orton, Batista, and Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania 30) or having him and Cody Rhodes challenge Roman on both nights of WrestleMania 39 this year for both titles individually. I was skeptical and optimistic the entire time of that booking as I didn't think WWE would put themselves into another Daniel Bryan situation again where the fans had their backs against the walls and they literally had no choice but to slot Bryan into that match when they had plans for Randy Orton versus Batista following his return at the Royal Rumble that year. They weren't changing their plans in the least when it came to this Bloodline storyline (we're going to elaborate on this more at the end of Night 2), so the story continued for Sami Zayn repairing his damaged friendship with Kevin Owens to challenge The Usos for the Undisputed WWE Tag Team titles that they have had a stranglehold on for quite some time now. 

In terms of a match, I can't say that I was fully enamored with this from bell to bell, but by the end of it, I was fully behind Sami and KO. That being said, I have been pretty done with seeing the Usos as a tag team well before this Bloodline storyline started as it's a pretty tired act now, especially when we have seen so much promise from both of them as singles stars. I'm looking right at Jey Uso at the start of this Bloodline angle. If Roman's title reign doesn't end with him somehow involved in a major way, then this story has been all for nothing. 

Singles Match

Brock Lesnar defeated Omos (with MVP) by pinfall

(Laughing) This went EXACTLY how I figured it was going to go down. I wouldn't be surprised if Brock had his bags packed and ready waiting for him at gorilla before he even walked through the curtains for this. Omos got a little offense here and really made Brock fight from underneath, but there wasn't a single moment where I was convinced in any capacity that he was going to beat Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania. He prevented one F-5 attempt, only for Brock to regain his bearings and do it again proper and that's where I said, "WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU MA'AM." Thanks for comin', Omos. 

This was the epitome of a nothing match. I guess this was better than whatever he turned down in terms of working with Bray Wyatt for, especially after seeing that mess that LA Knight had to put up with for the last few months. 

Women's WrestleMania Showcase Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Match

Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler defeated Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez, Natalya and Shotzi, and Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville by submission

In defense of the women in this match, I hated seeing them in this nothing match as they were really trying hard to make this worth watching. Unfortunately, most people in that arena didn't seem to care and that's ultimately on WWE as a whole. Much like every women's feud on this year's WrestleMania card had a build that left a LOT to be desired. How can anyone expected to care about this match when WWE has barel put any effort at all into this match, especially when none of these teams, except for Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez and Shayna Baszler and Ronda Rousey have been actively competing as a team on a regular basis and weren't just slapped together randomly over the past few weeks?

That being said, this was special for Natalya since this weekend marked 15 years for her in WWE - a fact that makes me mad the more I think about it. Nattie is one hell of a worker and extremely talented in-ring than a lot of fans give her credit for. She's devoted everything to WWE and it rarely feels like she's appreciated for essentially being a company woman, flagbearer, and workhorse for them. Her and Alicia Fox are two women I wish IMPACT Wrestling had picked up during the heights of the Knockouts division to really show WWE what they were missing out on. Hell, I would love to see Nattie leave WWE like Sasha Banks/Mercedes Mone did and do a tour through STARDOM to really open a lot of eyes on her talents. 

You could tell that this match meant a lot for the ladies involved, especially for the ones who went out of their way to get new gear designed for this match or had the honor of this being their first WrestleMania match, such as Chelsea Green. They didn't even bother to let Shotzi drive her little tank down to the ring for 'Mania. They really thought less of the ladies here. 

The match itself wasn't awful, but it's in the same vein as the tag team matches on NXT Stand & Deliver where it was no different than your typical tag team match on weekly WWE programming. I had to laugh that they actually let Ronda and Shayna go over here, especially knowing that Ronda is working hurt with a broken (fractured) arm. It's not like they can challenge for the Women's Tag titles anytime soon so I don't see what was the point outside of the media attention to say that Ronda is still on top for casual viewers and UFC fans who might be watching this show on a whim. 

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Gunther (c) defeated Sheamus and Drew McIntyre by pinfall

Going into this match, I wasn't really enamored with the idea of a triple threat for WALTER's Intercontinental Championship, especially since it leans towards WALTER losing it without being pinned or submitted. The tale of the tape had this being more of a personal matter between the former best friends of Drew McIntyre and Sheamus (AKA the Banger Bros before WWE discovered that there's a porn site called Bang Bros. and dropped all mentions of that name altogether). Sheamus is still chasing that white whale that is his first Intercontinental title win that would complete his Grand Slam criteria for his WWE career. Sue me, but I don't want to see that happen at WALTER's expense at all. Let Sheamus win that on anyone else but WALTER when he's in the middle of a great run like this. 

WALTER is one of the few people that I would love see dethrone Roman Reigns in a few more months, especially how well WWE has been protecting him with these strong performances. It would would make for a simple feud to setup too, especially with Imperium poised and ready to engage in stable warfare with another stable, like the Bloodline. You can tell that WWE has faith in the man when he's had that breakout performance in the Royal Rumble this year and they have relied on him to carry the Intercontinental Championship for so long. 

I enjoyed the early parts of this match where Drew and Sheamus were working together like a tag team to get the upper hand on WALTER, but I quickly soured on the parts of this match where WALTER and the opposition would disappear at ringside for minutes on end, waiting for the next spot. I criticize AEW for this all the time, so I have to point it out here too as it's a problem for modern wrestling as a whole. It completely takes me out of the immersion of the match to see guys "disappearing" and/or hanging around at ringside and standing by for their next big spot. I loved the finishing sequence of this match, but all of that waiting around in the middle of this match prevented this from being truly a "banger" for me compared to what other people regarded it as. 

Singles Match for the WWE Raw Women's Championship

Bianca Belair (c) defeated Asuka by pinfall

When Bianca came out with those children dancers performing to her entrance music, I should have known that there was a snowball's chance in hell that she was losing here tonight. 

After this loss, Asuka is currently on a 0-5 losing streak at WrestleMania. I get that Bianca is such a great role model for young black women and spokeswoman for the company for the past year, but c'mon, a loss is NOT going to hurt her at this point. I find her extremely stale at this point of her RAW Women's Championship run. A loss at WrestleMania would have given WWE Creative the perfect excuse/reason to turn her heel in the coming months and have her be the very entertaining heel that she was on NXT. Whenever they decide on splitting up the Street Profits and having Bianca's husband Montez Ford go as a single, she needs to be tied to the hip with him as a heel couple. I could see easily see them making a splash in that main event scene in a similar manner as Dominik Mysterio and Rhea Ripley. 

(Laughs) I'm sure whoever used the monkey paw to wish for Bianca to retain here tonight are regretting that decision as they were convinced that WWE aren't going to say "FUCK THEM KIDS" in that situation but literally said that in faces of both Cody Rhodes' newborn daughter and the son of the late Brodie Lee/Luke Harper to close off this show. 

Triple H mentioned during the post-show media scrum that the mother of the lead dancer during Bianca Belair's entrance had died yet the child still wanted to perform today. That had to take incredible amounts of bravery and courage to do that on the day that you lose your mother. Major props to both WWE and Bianca Belair to giving these children a chance to perform on a stage like this. They aren't ever going to forget this opportunity. 

Singles Match

The Miz vs. Shane McMahon ended in a no-contest

Shane O'Mac came out, tore his quad and Snoop Dogg had to pull an audible. Seriously, that is actually what happened. 

Singles Match

Snoop Dogg defeated The Miz by pinfall

Truth be told, I had went to the local Arby's around the corner as soon as Shane's music hit and I wasn't going to see whatever this shit-show was that was about to transpire. I had to read my Twitter feed to see what had transpired when I got back. Sucks for Shane, but bravo on Snoop for calling it in the ring and saving that segment from disaster. 

The 14 staples that were put into Finn's head to close the open wound during this match.

Big fight feel for this match (and rightfully so) with Cody Rhodes coming out wearing a trenchcoat/jacket that just screams The Boys' Homelander vibes that most people compare his general look to anyway. Cody had his wife, Brandi (with their baby girl), along with the late Brodie Lee/Luke Harper's wife Amanda Huber and their son (Negative One from AEW's Dark Order faction) sitting on the front row. Kudos to WWE recognizing Brodie's son while Cody gave his weight belt (decorated with a handwritten list of names of every promotion he's worked for prior to coming back to WWE) to the kid. Roman Reigns on the other hand, had multiple pianists playing his entrance theme before him, Solo, and Heyman walked down to the ring - without The Usos at his side. That would be something that would come into play later in this match. 

I wish Roman and Cody took a moment to just soak in the hype in the building at the start of the match. Heyman's facial reactions were the star of this match in my eyes, especially when you watch his progression from the start of the match with the utmost confidence to seeing it slowly evaporate from his face as the match goes on, starting  from the moment where Solo was ejected from ringside. They didn't even have to touch yet and the excitement and anticipation was through the roof. When they went into the action, it was great from bell to bell. I appreciated that they didn't stay out at ringside for too long like a lot of promotions in modern wrestling try to do while making the referee look like an idiot in the process by not enforcing the rules in a major title match like this. Cody made sure to obey by the ring out counts as he wasn't going to lose this opportunity that way. When they cranked things up with the near-falls, the crowd was with every single one of them as everyone was emotionally invested into this match. There was NO denying that, especially given the reactions on social media after the fact. 

Vince McMahon photoshopped to look like Street Fighter's M. Bison with his new mustache.