Neo-Meshikans Celebrate the Memory of Iosif Bramanov

March 15th, 2016

Meshik. Thousands of citizens across the Nation have taken to the streets to honor the memory of the former IUSR leader, Iosif Ricardovich Bramanov, who along with the Czervenikan leader Jana Lebedeva helped to found the International Union of Workers' States in 2013, the predecessor state to the current IUSR. He would have turned forty-eight today.

Born in Krasnivostok in 1968, Iosif Bramanov was rumored to be heavily involved in the Krasniyan Revolution that culminated in 1995—actions that cost him the lives of his wife and son. Personal tragedy notwithstanding, the result was a sweeping victory for the revolutionaries. Widely hailed as a hero in his homeland, he was responsible for introducing his vision of socialism to Krasniya over the next ten years, until his untimely death in 2015, one day after his forty-seventh birthday.

He was a controversial figure even during his lifetime, as evidenced by the frequently rocky relations he sustained with his homologues in nations around the world. He was said to be especially close to his daughter Hana, whom he raised alone since the death of his wife in 1994. Hana Bramanova, who took the Krasniyan seat of power after her father's death, has described him on several occasions as "a loving, caring, selfless man, predominantly concerned with the well-being of the Krasniyan people".

‘Loving’, however, wasn’t a face he often put on for the Krasniyan people; he was often described as “zealous, determined, and humorless”, even by his own comrades. His bluntness often put him at odds with even his closest allies, as Anastasiya Medina, Meshik-born author of the best-selling Man of Steel: One Man’s Quest for Communism At All Costs and The Bramanov Effect, recounts: “In Nuevo Meshiko he is often credited as the sole reason the nation decided to withdraw from the International Union of Workers’ States, after no more than two weeks of membership, an act which brought about the Union’s first constitutional crisis.”

The reality, she goes on to say, is a bit more complicated. “It is no secret for anyone that the Krasniyan leader and President Andrews did not always see eye to eye,” she writes. “Iosif Bramanov had little patience to what he described as the Neo-Meshikan President’s ‘useless moral idealism’, which he believed was holding Nuevo Meshiko back from its true potential.” Potential that, according to him, could best be achieved through membership in the Socialist Union.

“In a fit of rage, he (in)famously ordered the assassination of Roberto Andrews as vengeance for the latter’s withdrawal from the IUWS, and nearly succeeded. Andrews woke up in a hospital in Meshik with an icepick sticking out of his cranium, with no idea [about] who he was or how it was he got there.” While these rumors have never been publicly confirmed by the Neo-Meshikan President, sources once close to the pair have stated them to be true. In any case, it appears Andrews never bore any hard feelings against Bramanov after the attempt, once publicly stating that their friendship “was a cordial and amicable as ever.” It was a fact that Bramanov found amusing as well as exasperating, and which led him to reportedly apologize to Andrews after the event. Despite their tumultuous friendship, Roberto Andrews often remarked that he had a great respect and certain admiration for Iosif, perhaps best seen during the emotional words he uttered after the latter’s passing, when he gave his condolences to the Krasniyan nation.

However, neither of them could have foreseen the havoc that Bramanov’s death would cause to Estinia, their countries’ mutual rival. “The nuclear bomb dropped on Hamilton, the Estinian capital”, writes Anastasiya, “was no doubt ordered by Bramanov’s daughter on account of his death.” As the state-run media outlet Gazeta reported, Bramanov’s death was allegedly the result of an Estinian gift of tainted vodka. “When you think about it,” she continues, “a whole nation was destroyed in his name. If that’s not power, I don’t know what is; that kind of devotion to a character is often only attributed to some of the world’s more extremist religions. To this day, the Bramanov’s death and the Hamilton bombing remain touchy subjects in Nuevo Meshiko, due to the disastrous consequences of both: the rise of Bramanov’s volatile daughter to power, and the Neo-Meshikan economic crash of 2015, respectively.”

After his daugher, perhaps the person that Iosif Bramanov held in highest esteem is General-Admiral Serjius Blakesley, leader of the Halloranian Socialist Republic. Their strong friendship was legendary beyond their borders, with ‘The Serj’ famously remarking of Bramanov, “He was one hardened hijo de [expletive deleted], but he was my close friend, el hijo de [expletive deleted].” Despite this, it is not known how they met or became friends. Anastasiya elaborates on a folk theory: “Some say they both participated in the Krasniyan Revolution. However, Blakesley has always denied this, saying that he never set foot on Krasniyan soil during the revolution. Supporters of the theory have gone as far as to say that he doesn't need to set foot on the ground when he’s aboard a tank most of the day. Whatever their history, Bramanov’s hardened demeanor always softened a little when The Serj was around.”

Not much else is known about Iosif’s personal life. Incredibly zealous about his privacy, he always offered a carefully staged view of his public moments with his daughter. When asked about his wife, he offered, “This creature softened my heart of stone. She died and with her died my last warm feelings for humanity.”

An ardent admirer of Karl Marx, Bramanov was avowedly atheist. He was often critical of Nuevo Meshiko’s ceremonial sultanate, although it was rumored he held a soft spot for the Neo-Meshikan sultana, Esperanza I. He personally gave her a warm welcome during her visit to Brensk, and reportedly gifted her flowers. However, when asked about his opinion on religion, he argued, “You know, they are fooling us, there is no God… all this talk about God is sheer nonsense.”

President Roberto Andrews and Sultana Esperanza I are both expected to speak at a memorial ceremony at Parque de la Revolución tomorrow afternoon, on the anniversary of Iosif Bramanov’s death, during which a life-size bronze statue dedicated to the Krasniyan leader will be unveiled.