A Message from the Pastor

Physical, not Social, Distance

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Dear Members and Friends of Memorial Baptist Church,

 These are not good days for footnotes. I’m reading so many messages and articles that I have a hard time remembering who said what.

  Take yesterday, for example. You probably didn’t notice it, because it was unremarkable and mostly hidden in the text of my church-wide email. The phrase I used was “physical distance.”

  “Social distance” is what all the news outlets and government leaders are saying. But over the weekend I read somewhere – where? Who wrote it? I don’t remember – that it’s physical distance, not social distance, that we need.

  Last week I sent you a paragraph from California Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky advising people not to use, or think in terms of, “social distance.” But he didn’t offer any alternative. I think “physical distance” is an excellent replacement.

  Physical distance refers to the six-foot buffer we are asked to keep between ourselves and others, and to the hand-washing and surface-disinfecting that support that buffer. Social distance is more a matter of the emotions, the spirit, even the heart. Social distance means being disconnected from other people.

  Think of it another way: “Isolation” is when we put a barrier – a wall, a door, a bottle of hand sanitizer, six feet of space – between ourselves and others to keep us safe. “Isolated” is when a person doesn’t have anyone who is close enough to require any barrier to be erected.

  Neil Diamond released his hit song, “Sweet Caroline,” in 1969. In recent years it has become a popular anthem sung by the crowds at sporting events everywhere. Now Diamond has sent out an updated version with the chorus rewritten for the age of coronavirus. The new words are all about physical distancing, but the fact that we can sing along on YouTube and laugh about it reaffirms our social connection.

     Hands, washing hands, reaching out,

    Don’t touch me, I won’t touch you.

  We’ve all heard that we are social animals. Even the most dedicated introvert needs somebody, now and then, sooner or later.

  Remember how Jesus, after the Last Supper, took the disciples with him to Gethsemane? Then, going a little farther with Peter, James and John, he “began to be distressed and agitated. And he said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved, even to death. Remain here and keep awake’” (Mark 14:33-34 NRSV).

  “Remain here” – that’s about physical distance. Jesus left the three disciples there, we’ve heard in church, so that he could spend time alone with God. Some lonesome valleys have to be walked all by yourself.

  But Jesus also asked these same disciples to stick with him, emotionally at least, close enough and wide awake. He needed his friends. He wanted to know that somebody here on earth cared what he was going through. “Keep awake” – that’s about social connection.

  Instead, when he came back they had all dozed off. You can almost hear the disappointment, the loneliness: “Could you not keep awake one hour?” Social distance is not the same thing as physical distance. It’s much worse.

  In the last two days, two church members have contacted me with suggestions as to how we can connect with each other, with our friends and with those in the community. As these suggestions blossom into practice we will let you know how you can participate. More to come! We need others, and others need us.

  Until then I forward to you (with one slight change I made) a portion of a prayer written by the Rev. Richard Bott, Moderator of the United Church of Canada, and adapted by Dr. David Stratton, pastor of Woodhaven Baptist Church in Cary (the church where the Morrows served before they came to Memorial). The prayer speaks directly to these matters of physical and social distancing that we have been discussing. Please pray it every now and then.

And until things calm down, keep your distance, but stay connected!

               Your pastor,

               Ed Beddingfield