In our life, we will face challenges and difficulties in order to achieve our goals or even just to live by in our everyday lives. They say that when you overcome these challenges and difficulties, you become stronger and wiser.
✿ Experience is the Best Teacher ✿
One Life - Depleting Moment
One difficult situation I experienced this quarter, and probably one of the most life - depleting moments in my whole life is when I failed our onsite quiz #3. Similarly, I also failed myself when I got a very low score in my onsite long test 1.
I did not achieve my goal of having a score with an equivalent mark of 8 for the onsite quiz 3 and a score with an equivalent mark of S for the onsite long test 1. I feel so disappointed with myself because I always excelled in mathematics before, and now, I can barely understand the lessons.
At first, I tried avoiding it. I did not talk about it, did not look at my returned test papers, and tried to distract myself from doing anything that would remind me of it. I watched movies, played games, went out, and even resorted to stress-eating. But at the end of it all, I knew that I needed to face it somehow.
What I did to face this issue was something not that easy. First step was to accept it, that I failed. This was very hard for me since I had a lot of questions and what-ifs in my mind, like "Why did it happen" and "What if I studied harder". Next, I took some time to ponder on some things. I realized that I am setting unrealistic expectations for myself that's why I end up tired, pressured, and unable to perform my best. That's one thing I need to work on. Then, I also reminded myself that I should not thrive off of academic validation, that I should not base my worth on external validation. Rather, I should try to work on my internal validation, and most of all, self care. ❤
I also chose not to dwell in negativity for a long time. Instead, I promised myself that I would do better next time. I talk to God always, telling Him my thoughts and asking for His guidance, so that I would be able to know what to do next. I started setting realistic expectations of myself based on my capabilities and limits, I also did some research and tried effective study habits, like the pomodoro technique and talking to myself about the lesson.
Hopefully, all will be alright in time and I would be proud of myself again ✿. All of these is one step closer to my ultimate dream of being a Pulmonologist ✦.
For now, my short-term goals include passing tasks on time then getting a high mark, and taking care of myself more. One long-term goal I set is to be an honor student during my senior high school. ✦
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