I Will Never Find Home 

2023-ongoing 

After a month close to the gunfire, my family and I decided to reside in my father’s hometown, "Umm Ruwaba." Since then, we started a series of displacements, where we had to relocate from place to place, seeking safety and striving for an honorable ability to make a living. After all of these displacements, I decided to get out of Sudan, full of sorrow and fear, seeking asylum in another country, desperately looking for a place where I could support my family and be safe, far from gunfire. But being far from my family was way harder than being far from a warzone. 

Being away made me think about a lot of memories and how the future would be, memories that were moved and encouraged by my access to my father’s digital photo archive. Within his archive, I combine his vision with mine to revisit places I have called home before, to compare how my life was before the 15th of April, and to discover the meaning of belonging. 

Going throughout this journey, I have seen how RSF made Umm Ruwaba a ghost town, how I was feeling not wanted in Wad Madani living at my relatives, but at the same time very close to my friends from highschool, how Renk was the harshest environment I have ever lived inside, how I was lost in Juba while living there Illegally, and now I am finally registered as a Refugee in Uganda. 

After going around this memories I realized that I will never find home, and I do not even have a true definition for it anymore, so I was started looking for it, within my thoughts and emotions, my displaced family and friends, and my fellow refugees, where I try to find it, after I lost it in between Omdurman, Doha, Khartoum, Umm Ruwaba, Madani, Renk, Juba, Riyadh Nairobi, Geneve, and Kampala.