People have a wide array of ways to manage their emotions, and one helpful framework for organizing these methods is known as the process model.
Psychologists rely on this framework to pinpoint where and how to step in during the chain of events that creates an emotion. That chain unfolds in four stages. First, we encounter a situation whether it’s real or only in our minds and it captures our attention.
Next, we assess (or appraise) that situation to decide if it advances or blocks our goals. That evaluation then triggers shifts in our feelings, thoughts, and actions, which together make up the emotional response. At each stage, we can choose to intervene deliberately, and the process model lays out which strategies fit each phase.
To illustrate, picture yourself at a party where your least-favorite ex and their new partner are present. One approach is to simply skip the event. If you do go, you might alter the situation by avoiding any interaction with your ex.
If that still feels tough, you could shift your focus perhaps by joining a game with friends instead of watching your ex’s partner. You could also change how you interpret the scene, realizing that who your ex dates really doesn’t matter to you.
And if none of these tactics help, you can attempt to calm your emotional reaction afterward, though that often proves tricky. Quick fixes like suppressing your feelings or using recreational drugs tend to backfire, worsening both mood and health over time.
More sustainable options include taking a long walk, practicing slow, deep breaths, or talking things through with someone you trust. While mastering these methods takes practice, simply noticing your emotions and where they originate is already half the work. Once you acknowledge that you have the ability to affect your feelings, managing them becomes considerably simpler.
But should we use these techniques solely to maintain a perpetually good mood? That depends on how you define a “good” mood. It’s tempting to avoid sadness and frustration at all costs, yet no emotion is inherently positive or negative its usefulness hinges on the situation.
For example, if a friend is grieving a loss, feeling and expressing sadness is not only appropriate but also helps you empathize and offer support. In contrast, while chronically ignoring your emotions is unhealthy, flashing a quick smile to get through a minor irritation can be entirely reasonable.
There are numerous strategies for regulating our emotions, and one framework to understand these techniques is called the process model.
Psychologists use this tool to identify where and how to intervene in the process that forms our emotions. That process has four steps. First, we enter a situation, real or imagined, and that draws our attention.
Then we evaluate or appraise the situation and whether it helps or hinders our goals. Finally, this appraisal leads to a set of changes in how we feel, think, and behave, known as an emotional response. Each step of this process offers an opportunity to consciously intervene and change our emotions, and the process model outlines what strategies we might try at each phase.
To see this in action, let's imagine you've been invited to the same party as your least favorite ex and their new partner. Your first strategy could be avoiding the situation altogether by skipping the party. But if you do attend, you could also try modifying the situation by choosing not to interact with your ex.
If that's proving difficult, you might want to shift your attention, maybe by playing a game with your friends rather than focusing on your ex's new partner. Another option would be to re-evaluate how you think about the situation. After seriously re-appraising things, you might realize that you don't care who your ex dates.
If none of these strategies work, you can always try tempering your emotional response after the fact. But this can be tricky. Many of the easiest ways to do this, like hiding your emotions or trying to change them with recreational drugs, generally lead to more negative feelings and health concerns in the long term.
More sustainable strategies here include going for a long walk, taking slow, deep breaths, or talking with someone in your support system. While using all these strategies well takes practice, learning to notice your emotions and reflect on where they're coming from is half the battle. And once you've truly internalized that you can regulate your emotions, doing so becomes much easier.
But should you use these techniques to constantly maintain a good mood? That answer depends on how you define what makes a mood good. It's tempting to think we should always try to avoid sadness and frustration, but no emotion is inherently good or bad. They're either helpful or unhelpful, depending on the situation.
For example, if a friend is telling you about the loss of a loved one, feeling and expressing sadness isn't just appropriate, it can help you empathize and support them. Conversely, while it's unhealthy to regularly ignore your emotions, forcing a smile to get through a one-time annoyance is perfectly reasonable.