Social Relationships and Adjusting to New Cultures
Heather Sanderson
Eastern Connecticut State University
Dr. David Stoloff
March 17, 2018
The Peace Corps Cultural Matters Workbook concludes with insights on social relationships and on adjusting to a new culture for the Peace Corps volunteer. After reading these two chapters, I could see how profoundly the Peace Corps impacts those who serve.
When examining relationships Peace Corps volunteers have with those in their host countries, the host countries’ collectivist views are apparent. That collectivist view is starkly contrasted with the Peace Corps volunteers individualist nature in many of the relationship scenarios. Much more is expected in regards to relationships in a collectivist society than an individualist society because everyone is supposed to be looking out for one another rather than themselves. Gavin’s letter to Jan discussed various scenarios that may arise for a Peace Corps volunteer. The first scenario involved lying for a friend to cover the fact that he had not written a report for work (Peace Corps, 2012, p.150). This idea of covering for a friend, coworker, or supervisor has come up numerous times throughout this workbook, and I have a hard time accepting it because of my American individualist viewpoint. In most of the cases one is expected to lie in order to help a friend or coworker, as it reflects the group mentality.
The second scenario dealt with the closeness of the extended family. In the letter Gavin talks about at time when he told a friend that his grandmother had passed away, and the friend “..sent [him] a card…announcing that he was having two masses for [Gavin’s] grandmother sometime next month” (Peace Corps, 2012, p.150). While Gavin seemed unfazed by the passing of his grandmother, the friend treated it as a huge loss because of how close families are in collectivist societies. Another example of the cultural difference happened when Gavin was not understanding of a coworker who did not show up for work for four days when her cousin died (Peace Corps, 2012, p.151). A cousin in a collectivist society is as close as a brother or sister in our individualistic society.
A Tunisian Peace Corps volunteer offered a very surprising story about marriage. She was summoned to a dinner at her friend’s mother’s house, and when she got to the dinner, a man who introduced himself as Uncle Mohammed “explained that he had seen a picture of [her]” and “he knew the moment he saw it that [she] should be his wife” (Peace Corps, 2012, p.176). She did not accept the proposal, of course, but that interaction offered a fascinating insight into how marriages happen in some other cultures. Most impressive was how the Peace Corps volunteer handled the situation. Her response: “I’m sorry I cannot accept your gracious offer.” She then added: “My family wants me to marry a man from my hometown, someone I have known since my childhood” (Peace Corps, 2012, p.177). This was not true, though the volunteer had finessed this situation in such a way that she was able to say no without being disrespectful to the Tunisian culture.
It was interesting to explore the stages of adjusting to a new culture, from unconscious incompetence, to conscious incompetence, to conscious competence, to finally unconscious competence (Peace Corps, 2012, p.199). I found these stages easier to relate to when the workbook suggested it is similar to stages felt when accepting a new job (Peace Corps, 2012, p.187). When I started my teaching job, I saw myself in all of those stages. I started out thinking I was doing spectacular (unconscious incompetence), then I started to feel overwhelmed and doubted myself (conscience incompetence), before I adjusted and implemented new teaching practices (conscious competence). I am still at the stage of conscious competence.
References
Peace Corps (August 2012). Cultural Matters: The Peace Corps Cross-Cultural Workbook. Retrieved from http://files.peacecorps.gov/multimedia/pdf/library/t0087CultureMatters.pdf