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Welcome!
Ladies, gentlemen, basketcase badgers or vipers of the press, introverted bingewatchers,
and most especially almost-broke college students! If you’re both of the latter, you’ll be in for life
--I mean--a real treat. Welcome, one and all!
I’m Rordan Gamsey. Let's get cooking.
Today in my standardized kitchen, we’re going to be cooking a classic Asian cuisine from InnovAsian that you can cook in a dorm
and not taste like piss: orange chicken I rather like citrusy flavors and most of what you need comes in this box,
aside from the wit required to make talking at people while cooking a show, ay?
You can tell I’m a professional
from my white, button-up outfit here.
It’s quite simple. Now apart from that, you’ll also need garlic powder, cayenne pepper powder, some blood of
your enemies, Annie Chun’s packaged sticky rice, and shredded basil.
Naturally, you’ll need a pan for the chicken and sauce to rest on while cooking, Eventually, you’ll see the oven display light here
--what do you mean “microwave”?
Get that lazy nonsense outta here, you twit!
Surely you know what an “oven” is? You have a bloody conventional oven, don’t you?
Well, use it, for pity’s sake…!
Anyway, we’ll be preheating our conventional oven to 451 degrees Fahrenheit
--Just messin’. 400 degrees.
Either way, if you’re too pansy to use a conventional oven or not,
you’ll need to set the sauce bag in a bowl of hot water to dethaw.
Even from a precooked and frozen product, I make sure your guests’ tastebuds are simply smote
on the spot. We’ll have them screaming on their knees from their maws with so much raw delight that
we’ll raise the GDP ourselves
from word of mouthful alone.
Meanwhile,
after you shake the nuggets out of the package onto the pan
--no, not that pan!
Did you learn to cook in a barn?
Nitwit...
Anyway, I use foil to make cleanup easier, but it’s really optional.
Once they’re on the baking pan,
be sure to brush off the ice crystals from the frozen chicken nuggets.
Or else,
Do you want to look like a soggy chicken when you serve soggy chicken,
instead of deliciously coated citrusy nuggets of orange gold?
I didn’t think so. You soggy chicken nugget.
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