Imagine this: One of your employees comes to you with an idea. They want to make some changes into one of your working procedures. Your employee is convinced their idea is brilliant, but you, as their manager, immediately see the flaws. Maybe it’s impractical, too costly, or simply not a priority right now.
You know you have to turn them down. But here’s the dilemma: You do not want them to feel discouraged from speaking up again. After all, their next idea could be great! So, instead of a blunt rejection, you soften the blow with a little humor:
“That’s a bold idea—maybe a little too bold for our budget!” you joke with a smile.
It seems like a good strategy. But is it? Will your employee feel comfortable coming back with another idea, or will they think you’re mocking them and decide it’s not worth the effort?
We had the same question—so we conducted a study to find out.
Our study: does humor help or hurt?
We surveyed over 300 employees three times over a three-week period. We were interested in the experiences of employees who had recently voiced a suggestion at work that was turned down by their manager. Some of these managers rejected their employees’ idea with a more straightforward response and others used varying degrees of humor.
What we found challenges conventional wisdom. Although several experts believe that using humor in professional settings is risky because it could make employees feel that their ideas are not being taken seriously, our results suggest otherwise. Specifically, we find that managers who turned down ideas with humor actually increased their employees’ willingness to speak up again in the future. Humor seemed to signal that the rejection was not about them (it was not personal), which made employees feel safe to keep speaking up ideas down the road.
And here’s the most surprising result: humor was particularly beneficial for employees who had weaker relationships with their managers. Humor helped those employees who did not feel especially close to their bosses to bridge that gap, making them more comfortable to speak up with more ideas in the future.
Powerful social tool
Why does humor work? Humor is a powerful social tool. It helps to defuse social tension, creates a sense of camaraderie, and signals that a situation is not as bad as one might think. When a manager uses humor, they are subtly telling their employee that they appreciate their effort and that rejecting their ideas does not mean they do not value them.
Our study showed that employees interpreted humor in a similar way—it signaled that their manager was not upset or dismissive, making it safer for them to voice ideas in the future.
Not all jokes are created equal…
Before you start cracking jokes every time you want to turn down ideas, we need to mention an important caveat: The type of humor matters.
A joke that feels sarcastic, condescending, or dismissive can easily backfire. For instance, if an employee suggests an improvement to a company process and the manager responds with, “A+ for imagination! Unfortunately, our accountants might give it an F”, the employee is likely to feel ridiculed rather than encouraged.
Therefore, one should humor in a way that aligns with these three principles:
You need to mean-well: The goal is to make the rejection feel less harsh, not to belittle them or their idea.
Do: reassure employees that the rejection is not personal while acknowledging the value of their input.
Do not: dismiss employees.
Your relationship with your team is as important as the joke itself: You need to be mindful that some employees are more likely to appreciate your humor than others.
Do: make an extra effort with those you have a more formal and distant relationship with, as they will appreciate your extra effort.
Do not: feel the need to joke with your closer employees. They already like you, so clearer feedback might be more important than letting them down easy.
Humor is a signal; so, make sure your employees get it. Employees look for subtle cues in your behavior when they get out of their way to pitch innovative ideas to you. If your joke is misinterpreted, it may backfire.
Do: make sure your intentions are benevolent. Show appreciation with your humor.
Do not: use aggressive or other negative forms of humor as these are more likely to backfire.
How can managers use humor to encourage more ideas?
Here are some more practical tips for managers:
Use humor as a softener, not a shield. A joke should make rejection feel lighter, but it should not replace clear, constructive feedback.
Match the humor to the relationship. If you already have a strong rapport with an employee, being clear and honest with your feedback may be fine. However, if the relationship you have with your employee is weaker, stick to gentle, positive, benevolent forms of humor when turning them down.
Follow up. If you turn down an idea with humor, reinforce your openness by checking in later. “Hey, I really appreciate you bringing that up. Keep the ideas coming.”
Keep it professional. Humor should never be personal or made at an employee’s expense.
The bottom line: should you use humor?
Yes—but wisely.
When used well, humor can make it easier for your employees to accept rejection and keep contributing ideas. This is especially true for employees who do not already have a strong relationship with you, their manager.
So, the next time an employee comes to you with an idea that you know won’t work, consider a gentle joke instead of a blunt “no.” Because while today’s idea might not be the feasible one, tomorrow’s just might be—and you want them to feel safe enough to share it!