I masturbate to every channel on TV. Except for PBS. That's where I draw the line. All the other channels are fair game. Especially CSPAN. You have no idea how turned on I get when the gentlewoman from Missouri respectfully disagrees with the gentleman from Alabama. Don't think I'm the only one masturbating to CSPAN. We all do it. The typical CSPAN broadcast gets 4200 viewers nationwide, and 4199 of those people are masturbating to it. I know. I took a poll. Whenever I'm on a first date, the first question I ask a woman is, "Do you masturbate to CSPAN?" If she says no, I tell her, "Well then you're not marriage material. I'll have sex with you. But I won't marry you."