tackle the project of my skin in the mirror,
time the ways I manage to change and picture the differences,
like talking to my future self through this time machine,
I know how eager I am to see all of those differences.
come to peace after running with you in the rain all the way back home,
surrounded by nausea at the first peak of twilight but I learn how to eat better because of how it
makes me feel;
I don't need that for your admiration,
you love me the way I am despite how well I eat,
and the extra weight I carry doesn't change how I feel about you,
you admire me for my personality and you don't look at me and think how much cooler I would
be if I lost weight.
I am still obsessive about it when we go to the city together,
I hang out with you at the park and near all the stores,
the AC at the ice cream store calls to me again,
and after I spend money,
the guilt seeps in again;
I want to count again so badly,
I want my order and my structure and my routine,
I want-
you,
you don't care about weight or the way my stomach looks,
you still admire me for my personality,
we'll still hang out anyways.
Riley Fable is a 20 year old poet and writer whose work explores neurodivergence, queer identity, and disability, alongside an ongoing effort to better understand the world we live in. They are especially interested in the structural and sensory elements of poetry. Riley is currently working on their first book titled Grasslands.
Authors Notes: These pieces explore the relationship I have with my own body and how I've come to terms with living in it. In these pieces, I am exploring what it means to let go of my imperfections and make the most of my life beyond the skin I exist in. I am exploring what it feels to reflect on it while still acknowledging that it isn't something that truly impacts the way I want to be seen.