Based on the principles of humanistic psychology—specifically the work of Carl Rogers, who is the source of the insight that "to perceive a new aspect of oneself is the first step toward changing the concept of oneself"—here is an explanation of why empathy and the Empathy Circle practice facilitate this self-discovery.

1. The Safety to Drop Defenses

In our daily lives, we often maintain a rigid "Self-Concept"—a mental image of who we are (e.g., "I am a calm person," "I am a helpful friend"). When we experience feelings that contradict this image (like sudden anger or selfishness), our psychological defenses usually filter them out or distort them before we even become conscious of them. We block these "unknown elements" to protect our identity.

• How the Empathy Circle helps: The structure of an Empathy Circle ensures psychological safety. Because listeners respond with non-judgmental active listening (reflecting back what was said rather than critiquing it), the speaker feels safe enough to lower their defenses.

• The Result: Without the need to defend the ego against judgment, the "filter" relaxes, allowing suppressed or unacknowledged thoughts to bubble up to the surface.

2. The Power of "Hearing Yourself"

We often do not truly know what we are thinking or feeling until we hear ourselves say it. However, in normal conversation, we are often distracted by planning our next argument or worrying about the listener's reaction.

• How the Empathy Circle helps: When a listener mirrors the speaker's words back accurately ("What I'm hearing you say is..."), it acts as an objective acoustic mirror.

• The Result: The speaker hears their own "data" returned to them from an external source. This often triggers a moment of realization: "Did I really say that? Yes, that is actually how I feel." This validation turns a vague feeling into a concrete, perceivable "new aspect" of the self.

3. Integrating the "Not-Me" into the "Me"

Carl Rogers argued that psychological distress often comes from "Incongruence"—the gap between our Experience (reality) and our Self-Concept.

• The Mechanism of Change:

  1. Discovery: In the safety of the Circle, a participant might admit, "I actually feel relieved that I lost that job."

  2. Perception: If the listener reflects this without judgment, the participant perceives this "new aspect" (the relief) as valid.

  3. Change: The participant must then update their Self-Concept to include this new truth. They move from "I am a failure who lost a job" to "I am a person who needed a change and is ready for something new."

Summary

The Empathy Circle supports this process because it replaces judgment (which forces us to hide parts of ourselves) with empathic understanding (which invites all parts of ourselves into the light). Once a "previously unknown element" is safely brought into awareness and accepted, the concept of "who I am" naturally expands to include it.