People

When and Where: February 21st 2023 - June 5th 2023

Seoul, South Korea

Before leaving for Korea, I set a goal for myself to become friends with and draw 5 people. Writing this out during the practicum proposal I thought this wouldn't be difficult--5 people isn't that many people. After arriving, 5 people seems like a lot.

Because I got food poisoning after 3 days of being in Korea, I had to miss out on a number of opportunities to meet people. After about a month of traveling and living on my own, I thought about how I am here for a limited time and that I should challenge myself to push through the goal I set.

Back home, I'm nervous talking to people. I get into my head too much thinking I sound stupid or that they automatically don't like me. With this, I've struggled to make friends at Mines. However, this assignment has gradually helped push me out of this mindset. Instead of focusing on my own insecurities, I tried meeting people with the intention of making friends. Over time, I have had the opportunity to talk with so many interesting people from a variety of backgrounds. After I get to know them, I (awkwardly) explain this practicum and ask if they would be comfortable posing with me. My expectations of them rejecting me were wrong, they have all been really supportive of me and this project. I use the space below each portrait to talk about the interesting people I have met.

As other trained models I've drawn usually sit for around 3 hours, I didn't want to make my friends sit that long; however, I still wanted to uphold the benefit I get from live drawing. To accomplish this, they have (graciously) let me draw them live for 1 hour, I take a photo of them, and then finish their portrait remotely for 4 hours. Yes, a 1:4-hour ratio isn't ideal for live drawing. But I spend the first hour taking measurements--both length and angles--of their face (see Measuring Length and Angles under my Places page) so that I get all the correct proportions that a camera image would distort (see discussion below). At the end of the posing session, I take a photo and take a mental note of how the photo compares to the real-life pose (differences in proportionality, cast shadows/reflected light, etc). What I found surprising is that the first time I did this with Armita, the picture I was taking of her looked very different than how she looked in front of me. For this reason, as I explain more in detail below, drawing/art is critical to capture people as they are, unaltered.

Armita 4.3.23 (Iran)

I met Armita in my Principals of Macroeconomics class at Yonsei. We were both confused if we were in the right room because the rest of the students in class were Korean students. Although I originally thought she was another exchange student, I learned that she was actually a full-time student at Yonsei taking classes in English. On top of that, English is her second language. Armita grew up in Iran and her brother (who is about 10 years older than her) attended Yonsei. She had originally started college in Iran but her parents had forced her to go to Yonsei because of the conflict in Afghanistan and rising tensions in Iran that may lead to an eventual civil war. Her brother attended Yonsei because he liked the culture, learned Korean, married, and now lives in Korea. However, Armita is heartbroken to be forced to leave her life in Iran. She had to leave her family and friends to live in a country that has a very different culture than her home and speaks a completely different language.When she described this to me, I felt myself tear up. I can't imagine how isolating and lonely that would feel. I am really impressed by her strength and resilience in dealing with a situation like this.

Mina 4.6.23 (Japan)

There's a club called "Mentor's Club" that exchange students at Yonsei can join. I had originally signed up by the deadline, but there was an error that forced me to join the club late. This club is set up where there is a mentor--a Yonsei student--and around 5-6 mentees--exchange students. Because of the error, I wasn't able to meet with my group until around mid to late March. I was frustrated that I wasn't really meeting people for the first month of being here. But sometimes I think things happen for a reason.Mina was another exchange student in my group. From Japan, she is an American Japanese (her dad is from the US and her mother is Japanese, but she's spent most of her life in Japan). She's visiting her as part of a really cool exchange program her university has set up. Basically, students from Japan, Korea, and China all move together and rotate between countries for a year. Last semester, Mina showed Chinese and Korean students around her university in Japan, this semester she's studying in Korea, and next semester she'll study in China. Having never lived abroad before, she says this has been an extremely enlightening experience.When we first met Mina was a little quiet but as I rambled and tried cracking dumb jokes, her bubbly and goofy personality revealed itself. On the day our group went out to eat Korean BBQ together, we all stayed out and checked out different clubs until 3 AM (surprisingly there were still *a lot* of people lining up to get into different places during this time). Mina and I walked back to our dorms and talked about our lives in our different countries, shared favorite animes and American sitcoms, and made an hour-long walk feel like a 5-minute walk.

Katie 5.17.23 (Scotland)

I met Katie through Yonsei Global--a group that's split between Yonsei students and exchange students and we do different activities together (hanbok wearing, Nanta show, pottery class). Katie is from Scottland and surprisingly doesn't have a Scottish accent. Talking to her, she says she's lost it because of the number of international friends she has (who speak american-accent english). We've hung out outside of the events hosted by Yonsei Global and she is one of the most warm-hearted people I've met; she's kind and gives compliments without hesitation. We've had a lot of conversations about our lives in different countries and about our impressions of gun violence. She's made me realize how weird I--and I think many Americans--are so destigmatized to gun violence. Additionally, after asking her to be a part of this project, I shared my website with her. We had a bunch of great conversations about a lot of the things I talk about here such as beauty standards and art.I appreciate how open she is to sharing and listening and am so glad I met her on this trip.

Elisa 5.22.23 (France)

I also met Elisa through the Mentor's Cub where I met Mina. We talked a little bit the night our whole group went out but ended up talking over Instagram later on. Our schedules seemed to overlap the others' free time so it was difficult to meet up to hang out. Despite this, we commented on each other's stories and it was cool to see where Elisa was traveling to (ex Phillipines). For the portrait, we met at a really cute outdoor cafe in Hongdae. Elisa was nice enough to pose for an entire hour and the rest of the time we were just talking about our different lives in France and the US. I was shocked to hear about the education system in France. From the French classes I took in High School and Middle School, we learned a little about the system. However, this mainly covered how French students take a test when they are younger to try to get on a specific track for the rest of their schooling. Elisa explained that there is a horrible system for students who would like to go to medical school. There is only one chance to take an exam and if you fail it, you have to give up your dreams of becoming a doctor--you're not allowed to retake the exam. Additionally, the chances of getting selected are extremely low. With over 6000 applicants, only a few hundred get selected. And despite France having a deficit of doctors, this system continues. It was really interesting to learn about this.

Genie 6.2.23 (America)

Genie was another person in the group event hosted by Yonsei Global. She’s at Princeton now and we’ve shared a lot of jokes and stories about life as a STEM major (hers is computer science). I was surprised that Genie and I were actually pretty similar in that as she’s Korean-American and I’m Russian-American, she can’t speak Korean and I can’t speak Russian. I’ve always felt isolated from my family and Russian culture because of the language barrier and talking to her comforted me to know I wasn’t the only person like this. While she’s learning Korean now, I feel inspired to try to learn Russian to speak with my family. Additionally, we discussed our experiences pursuing art on the side while trying to complete a STEM major. It felt comforting to talk to someone who shared my own frustrations with STEM--ie. perfection and grades are more important than creativity and learning, etc.

서연, Seoyeon 6.5.23 (Korea)

Seoyeon was the group leader of our Yonsei Global group and has been such an interesting and kind person to talk to. Speaking Korean, Chinese, and English (with NO accent) she has a love for traveling and getting to talk to new people and experience new cultures. I’ve really enjoyed learning about Korean culture with her during shared meals and various conversations we’ve had about our different–but oftentimes similar–lives.With Seoyeon, 3-hour conversations always feel like 10-minute conversations. I feel like we never run out of things to talk about and we're always cracking jokes and laughing.

Discussion

Ok, so normally I just have reflections at the end of these assignments (or within the assignments) but honestly I've been thinking a lot about topics/things that relate to making portraits. As I have been thinking about this all of February and writing this now (in March), I don't really want to wait to get my ideas down. I wanted to use the space above to give context behind the people I meet, use this space to explain *why* I'm doing what I'm doing, and use the reflection as a reflection on the whole process. Below I explain my "why":

Photobooth in Seoul

Honestly, I tried finding an article to explain automatic photo editing in these photobooths and could not find any ?? so I'm using an actual photo that a group of us had taken. Note: in this photo, there is no acne and everyone appears much white than in reality

Mina told me about プリクラ (purikura) in Japan... she said this type of photo editing is really common in photobooths

I thought there was an obsession with self-image back home, but this does not even compare to the strive for beauty in South Korea. I’ve met many people who, in person, look astronomically different than they do online. I have been shocked–multiple times–not to recognize someone because they look completely different online. On the subway, I’ve seen young girls zooming into their faces and editing small “imperfections” in their skin, and changing their face shape for a more chiseled jaw or brighter eyes. In-person, on hikes, walking around, and between classes, I see different women powdering their faces and reapplying makeup– something I feel like you’d never seen in Colorado. Aside from intentionally photoshopping or applying makeup to oneself, there are countless automatic filters applied to cameras on Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok. While I have not seen this personally, I have seen videos online where people have to turn off all the automatic filters set on their devices. Outside of social media, there are hundreds of “photo booth” shops in Seoul–I have never seen these stores before. These stores are unmanned–no one is working there–and are filled with dressing room-type rooms. You can grab props (headbands, glasses, etc.) from the front of the store (I have no idea how people don’t steal them), walk to one of the rooms, pay for a series of photos to be taken, and then receive a printout at the end of the session. These are *CRAZY* popular. The stores are pretty small but I have seen so many that have had a line for them go down the block. Within these places’ photo booths, there is additional technology that automatically photoshops your face–smoothing your skin out, making you appear whiter, slimming your face, etc.

The beauty industry is rigid and holds society to a very narrow standard for beauty. How you appear on social media I think is very destructive because by altering your face to be “perfect,” you make others think there’s something wrong with how they look and that they need to conform.

On the other hand, I think art can reveal someone’s true image. While there are cases of altering images for beauty (or for criticism) back in the day and during the present day, I believe you can use art to make not just a realistic portrait but also a true(?) portrait. Referencing back to digital media, I have noticed how horribly camera lenses–specifically on smartphones–distort images. Striking landscapes look lame. The bright moon looks like an out-of-focus-discount-streetlamp. Mouthwatering food looks flavorless. And unique people look different. This is all because different lenses can alter reality. Look at the above image. These are pictures of the same guy but taken with 5 different lenses. All pictures look different–some more conventionally attractive or unattractive than others. In portraits I've had to finish outside the "live-sitting" time, I've had to take pictures to draw off of. With the person right in front of me, their picture on my phone does not look like them. But this makes me wonder: even with the best lens, can you really capture someone? Sure, you can have a lens that doesn’t distort a face but you lose so much more that comes with every person you meet. What they sound like, what they smell like, how their hair moves, where they come from, their likes and dislikes, their happiest moments and saddest moments, their fears and dreams, their favorite book or movie, their pet peeves, and their insecurities. Yes. Obviously, you can’t capture all of this in a photograph. And can’t capture all of this in a portrait either. However, I believe portraits are very personal, and realistic, and give a type of life and truth to the person shown.

Reflection

I am honestly shocked how well this portion of my practicum worked out. About 1/4 way through my time in South Korea, I hadn't started this portion and was really worried I wouldn't be able to complete this part. It felt nerve-wracking to ask people to just sit in front of me for a period of time--especially when I am just an amateur artist. However once I sucked-up this fear and asked Armita, asking other people gradually got easier. Especially when everyone has been really kind and receptive to hearing about and being a part of this project.

When I've drawn people from photos I've found on the internet, sculptures, etc., there is definitely a loss of a connection. Doing this portraits in real life has *seriously* expanded my circle of friends and honestly has allowed me to learn about people more. Personally, making friends as an adult has been really challenging. It felt much more organic to hang out with friends when I was younger in high school but in college it has suddenly felt really awkward for me to ask people to hang out. I'm still wondering why I've changed this way. Anyway, this portrait portion of my project has really helped me branch out. I'm not going to lie, sometimes during drawing it can feel a little awkward--both for me and the person sitting. When I'm measuring, some people have gotten nervous and apologized for facial features they're insecure about. From my perspective, I didn't even notice what they would point out to me and honestly couldn't see any problem with what they commented on. This made me think about my own insecurities as well--we are definitely more sensitive and observant to our features than others.

As I've grown older, I think I've become accustomed to hiding myself from people. In high school, I overshared a lot of life events that I was challenged by. In college, I've been scared to reveal this part of myself to other people. This fear has definitely affected how I have conversations with people. I overthink about what I'm saying and how people will respond. This leads to me making really awkward conversations because I'm distracted with a lot of self-doubt in my own head. I really wasn't expecting this, but drawing portraits have felt like a relief. By drawing from life, there is definitely a level a vulrebility between the model and whoever is drawing. It's surprsing but in the times I've drawn the friends I've made above, we've had fairly personal and true conversations with one another. I have to think that the intimate experience of drawing created a platform for opening up.

As we get older, we're pressured to perform a certain way whether we like it or not. Good grades, beauty, and success are praised. When we underperform in these aspects, it's easy to be looked over, ignored, or talked-down to. In fearing the latter, people do their best to hid

As people use instagram and filters to highlight their desirable features or lifestyles, the same is done with superficial interactions

Seoyeon took a picture of me with the beginning of her portrait. I was laughing because the beginning always looks so bad but I also just use the sitting session for measuring rather than trying to capture "likeness."

This is also the most public portrait I've drawn--it's a little embarrassing but I feel like I've come a long way to be able to draw in such a public setting.

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