Observe the “elephant”. What is it? Why is it here? Anything that you did not know about the “elephant” previously but notice about it now? 

觀察「大象」。它是甚麼？為甚麼它會在這裡？有甚麼你以前不知道，但現在注意到關於「大象」的事情嗎？ 

Acknowledge and accept how you feel about the “elephant”.

Try to understand or ask how the other feel about that.

承認和接納你對「大象」的感受。嘗試理解或詢問對方的感受。 

Think about the unmet needs of both of you. What caused the other person to say or do something that made you uncomfortable? Why do you feel uncomfortable about this?

思考雙方有哪些未被滿足的需要。是甚麼讓對方說或做了一些讓你感到不舒服的事情？為甚麼你會因此感到不舒服？ 

After understanding the feelings and needs of both of you, you can think about ways to satisfy both of your needs and make requests in a kind manner.

在理解彼此的感受和需要之後，你們可以思考滿足到彼此需要的方法，並以友善的方式提出請求。