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Crush as in when you get those warm fuzzy feelings whenever you're around that special someone. Well, that's a crush!
I was just 16 years old when I got a crush on a boy. It was the most ecstatic feeling and I still cannot get over it.
I was a smart, bubbly and a cute little teenager , who enjoyed life and was living life to the fullest when suddenly life changed for me.
My first crush was in 11th, his name was Abhik. He was new to my school apparently.
In my point of view, when I first met Abhik, I thought he was the most evil guy who was in my class. I know you're thinking that it was incredibly rude of me to think of him in such a negative way right now but I thought boys were "icky". The reason I hated Abhik.
I remember we had a project on the computer lab. We got new groups and with my good luck he was in my group, it was him.
We started talking and I noticed that he was really interesting. And I started crush on him.
Once I was walking in the playground with a huge smile in my face. I saw him talking to a girl. I felt like shit and my smile disappear. They were walking and talking. He saw me to see him talking to her. I stop walking they stop and we were just looking at each other and I was looking at his eyes. On the corner of my eye I could see that girl turning her eyes with her head to look at me and turning back to look at him. It was about 3-5 seconds. But it felt like ages. I noticed and I shake my head and start to walk off. After few steps someone called me and I turned back and noticed that Abir was calling me. I walked towards him. We talked about our project and after 10 minutes we walked towards to my locker and Abhik was still with that girl. I noticed he saw me and at that moment I was talking to Abir but when we see him we just stop talking and stand there for a while and all four of us were standing in the middle of the way without talking ( he look at me with I don't know if it was sad face or a angry face or upset face) and I turned around to look to Abir and we just walk off.
What was really funny was that Abir asked me - " are you saying each other?" I answered- " no we are not.why?" He replied- " I felt like he was coming to jump at me at any time (laughing)"
The school year was passing by really fast and it was almost the end of the school year. And I still had crush on him.
In the computer lab we talked to each other and we have a great weird conversation but I ended up saying " no I just look around the room and look at you because are interested to look at." He replied " don't worry I looked at you all the time" and I smiled and replied "stocker" (laughing).
I wanted to tell him that I had crush on him but I didn't know when and how to tell him. So, I decided not to tell him.
Days had passed by really fast.
After confession of my feelings to myself I was so mad I stare at him all the time, when I am around him. His smile, if only could have it. He was....no he is my first crush because I haven't been able to get him out my head and makes me sad to think that I never try to tell him about my feelings for him.
Any time I came in direct contact with him and whenever he looked at me I always felt a soft tenderness in his eyes and the warmth of his heart touched me deep inside. Abhik was very tall and fair and had the loveliest hair and whenever I looked at him I went weak in my knees.
On the last day of school, five minutes before the bell rang, our teacher gave us a speech about future career planning.
We all smiled, except Abhik. I asked him why he was sad. He said it turned out that we moving to another place. I probably wasn't going to see Abhik anymore. I decided that I should tell him how I felt. I pulled him to the computer lab and I quietly said " Abhik, I want to let you know that I...." Then the bell rang and school was over. Abhik said " sorry dear, I can't stay, I have to go, good bye" then he got up and left. That was the last time I ever saw Abhik.