The other day, I was watching ESPN, and they showed a spelling bee followed by an eating contest followed by a poker game. Spelling, eating, gambling. ESPN. Those three activities qualify as sports these days. But in the 80s, if you stuffed your face with hot dogs, and then you made $50,000 with a pair of Aces, and then you spelled a few long words, nobody called you a three sport athlete. Instead, people called you a fucking degenerate who happens to know how to spell Mississippi and methamphetamine.