RULES FOR RESPECTFUL ENGAGEMENT

Meetings are more productive — and more fun — when the conversation includes everyone. Respectful discussion guidelines are helpful for keeping things focused too. 

To maintain an inclusive and welcoming environment, we have a process for hearing and addressing any grievances or instances of harassment or interpersonal conflict. If you ever feel unsafe, have any grievance about members or events, or are looking for advice about an interpersonal situation in the chapter you aren’t feeling good about, you can contact our Harassment and Grievance Officers using the hgo@bostondsa.org email address.

1 ASSUME GOOD FAITH IN YOUR FELLOW COMRADES

Assume good faith in each other.

Please try to speak from experience, speak for yourself, and actively listen to each other. When someone makes a point, repeat what you heard, summarize, and ask clarifying questions like “Did you mean X?” or “What makes you say that?” to get more information. Encourage yourself and others to maintain a positive attitude, honor the work of others, avoid defensiveness, be open to legitimate critique, and  challenge oppressive behaviors in ways that help people grow. We want to “call each other in” rather than calling each other out — in other words, if you are challenging someone’s’ ideas or behavior, do it respectfully, and if you are being challenged, receive it respectfully. Remember, mistakes will be made, nobody is perfect.

2 KNOW WHETHER YOU NEED TO “STEP UP” OR “STEP BACK” 

Help create a safe and inclusive space for everybody: please respect others by recognizing how often, much, and loud you’re speaking and whether or not you’re dominating the conversation. If you're accustomed to making yourself heard, try to be mindful of how you can redistribute power in the conversation and leave space for others to voice their opinions and feelings. If the facilitator of the meeting asks you to wrap up, recognize that you should step back. And if you feel shy and aren't used to taking up space in conversations, we encourage you to speak up!

3 PLEASE ASK YOURSELF “WHY AM I TALKING?”

We have a limited amount of time for discussion and to accomplish the tasks before us. When in discussion, please ask yourself “Why am I talking (WAIT)?” Consider whether or not what you want to say has already been said, whether what you want to say is on topic or if there’s a better time and place to say it, and other methods for showing how you feel about the conversation (nodding your head, etc.).

4 RESPECT OTHERS’ FEELINGS, BACKGROUNDS, AND DIFFERENCES

Many people have different levels of experience, knowledge, and feelings in social justice and radical activism, and all participants should respect and embrace this diversity. Many people from different backgrounds have different definitions of what it means to be an “activist” or “radical.” While we all don’t have to agree on everything, we should respect our diversity of opinions. Recognize that everyone has a piece of the truth, everybody can learn, and everybody has the ability to teach and share something. Don’t use language that’s clearly oppressive or hurtful. Please refrain from using acronyms or complicated language that could exclude others.

5 WE HAVE “ONE MIC”— DO NOT INTERRUPT OR SPEAK OVER OTHERS

Many of us will have different opinions on matters. However, speaking while others are talking or adding comments when they cannot respond appropriately does not build community. If you have a disagreement, wait for your turn to address it. This is basic politeness.

6 RESPECT THE FACILITATOR WHEN THEY USE PROGRESSIVE STACK

Progressive Stack is a form of leading discussions that involves a facilitator keeping a list of names of people who wish to speak. The facilitator scans the group during the discussion, and if someone wishes to speak, they raise their hand to catch the facilitator’s eye. The facilitator nods and makes eye contact to indicate the person is now put on the list to speak, and then the person can put their hand down so it does not distract other discussion participants.

However, the facilitator does not simply write a list of names in the order that people raise their hand.

Rather, if someone who has not spoken raises their hand, they go to the top of the list. If someone who is of an oppressed group raises their hand, they go to the top of the list unless they have already contributed significantly to the discussion.

7 HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR 

Who said movement building can’t be fun? Every meeting is a great opportunity for people to get to know one another, building lasting friendships and relationships, to laugh, love, and build a movement.