Promposal Etiquette 101

It’s incredible how quickly talk of prom begins. Two weeks into school, I was already hearing people talk about this event that happens at the very end of the year. With all of the fundraising and planning that goes into it, this doesn’t come as a big surprise. However, since the talk has already begun, I thought that I would address the subject of promposals.

For anyone who doesn’t know, a promposal is simply fancy wording for the way in which someone asks you to prom. A portmanteau of prom and proposal. A promposal can be elaborate and expensive, small and simple, and everything in between. It has come to my attention, however, that some of the etiquette behind them has been forgotten over the years. In an attempt to bring it back, I present to you the etiquette behind promposals.

1. If you’re dating the individual… If you’re dating someone and you want to prompose to them, the general rule is that you are allowed to do as much or as little as you want. After all, if they are willing to date you, chances are that they are also willing to go to prom with you. In this case, public promposals are definitely an option, as there is not much of a chance that they will say no.
2. If you’re not dating the individual… If you’re not dating someone but you want to ask them to prom, you have three options. The first is a smaller promposal. You can buy them coffee and write “Prom?” on it, buy them their favourite chocolate and give it to them when you ask, or do something of the sort that isn’t public and doesn’t cost a lot of money. This is because they might say no. When promposing to someone, you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position, as there is a chance that they will refuse. Even if this chance is very small, by doing a simpler promposal, you won’t be in as vulnerable of a position, making it an overall more enjoyable situation. By doing a smaller promposal, you’re also looking out for the other person’s interests. If, unbeknownst to you, they had already agreed to go with someone else, had been planning to go with friends, or didn’t want to go at all, they may want to say no. However, if they have the whole school watching them for an answer and you just bought them $100 worth of flowers, they’re going to feel very pressured to say yes. By doing something small and simple, you respect the fact that they get to decide what they answer and you don’t put them in a stressful position. If you don’t want the unsurety, your second option is to ask their friends whether or not the person you want to ask would say yes. Generally, people’s friends have a pretty good idea of who they are interested in. And if they don’t know, they can always ask the person in a somewhat subtle way and get back to you with an answer. Your third and easiest option is to ask the person ahead of time. By saying a simple “Hey, if I asked you to prom, would you say yes?”, you eliminate all of the pressure and fear from the situation. If they say yes, then you are free to do whatever type of promposal you want. And if they say no, at least you were told in private before you spend all the time and effort planning a grand way to ask them.

There is not a large chance that this etiquette will come back anytime soon, but hopefully by reading this article, you understand the proper way to prompose to someone a little bit better. And while you certainly don’t need a date to have a good time at prom, I don’t think I am the only one who is at least a little bit excited to see what sort of promposals Bell High School will witness this year.