Evan Lori Mahone

Evan Lori Mahone Interview by Vicky Garcia

Interviewee: Evan Lori Mahone

Interviewer: Vicky Garcia

Date: Friday, October 2

Meeting place: Zoom Meeting

Attendees: VG = Vicky Garcia (interviewer), EM = Evan Mahone (interviewee)

VG: Hi, my name is Vicky Garcia and the reason I took the art activism class is because I wanted to learn more about the art side, and it ended up being more on the activism side and the class pretty much focuses more on activism. For example, currently, we are working on a project where we have to rethink monuments. For example, we had to kind of put in our ideas of what monuments we wanted to happen. For mine, I put in the first of Hispanic heroes because I feel like in history Hispanic heroes are not talked about enough. Usually, if you go through history books, you see white and Black people and I feel like as a Hispanic person, I am left out of that. I drew up a monument and she’s pushing everyone to think outside of the box about monument statues. For example, she showed us Candy Cheng and she does interactive monuments that you can move around. I was looking at one of them and for one of them, she got a huge wall and put on some paint and it said, “when I grow up, I wanna be…”, and then people would fill it in.

EM: Cool and I also think that’s great. You’re absolutely right about the lack of Hispanic representation there.

VG: Please tell me who you are, who do you bring with you to your work, and anything you want to share about your identity?

EM: Hi, I’m Evan Lori Mahone. Who do I bring with me into my work? I guess my mom. I feel very much like my mom. My mom is a children’s librarian and I get a lot of mom energy from my mom. I’m always asking people “oh do you have a community? Do you need a community? Do you need clothes? Do you want some food? Do you want some chili? I made some good chili. It’s really good. I promise.” [laughs] Yeah, but also, my peers and my mentors. I’ve been privileged enough to have really great Black trans disabled mentors and I can’t just take the wisdom and hoard it for myself. I just have to spread it. It’s my responsibility to spread the lessons. Yeah, ‘cause they didn’t have to do all that work for me.

I identify as a trans woman. I also identify as non-binary. Which those two identities for a lot of people seem like they don’t work together but identities are kinda just words and I both identify with the trans woman experience and I also identify with the non-binary experience. That’s what it is to me and I also identify as divergent and disabled. The disabled are through mental illness, not physical.

VG: Would you be comfortable addressing when you knew you were trans?

EM: I’ll say in general, I’ll answer that question for folks, but I say for asking trans people, in general, I’d say it’s not important that you know when they knew but I guess for the interview sake. But I came out in 2015 but I knew I felt trans my whole life. I just didn’t have the language for it and I didn’t have the support. Really what kinda happened was I was dating one of my best friends and then it had a thing where she was like “hey, before we start dating, you know I’m also interested in women. I have to explore that at some point.” And I was like “yeah, that’s chill.” And then three years later, she was like “I have to explore that part of me” and I was like “alright.” So, she started dating this other person and the way I dealt with that was, I became close friends with that person as well because, you know, I probably like this person too. Yeah, then a couple of months later my partner was like “I think I’m only interested in dating women at this point” and I was talking to their partner and being like “you know it kinda really sucks ‘cause I kinda feel like a woman” and they were like “oh, you’re … trans.” And I was like “oooh. Oh, that makes sense. You’re right.”

VG: What motivates you to be an advocate for the queer and trans community?

EM: It’s kinda just in my bones. I said before I have a lot of big mom energy. I have a really caring mom. I just really care so fucking much. I’m an empath and I don’t know how to not. It’s who I am. I’m just feeling for my community and I guess when I came out I didn’t have a strong figure to look for, to look to for guidance, and the people that I did look up to ended up being kinda abusive. I don’t want other people to have to go through that. I’m out here doing this work and kinda faking it till I make it. Like, projecting confidence so that other community members have confident people to look to but, really it’s kinda just fake. I’m not a confident person but I project it so that, for people outside of myself. As well as for things like ADHD, and my trip of neurodivergent stuff. People don’t get it unless they have it. I’ve had so much where I have explained it to people and then they just [smiles]. When it’s down to the wire, they don’t know. They are not there to understand. I’m just out here advocating for stuff like that too.

VG: Alright. What are some past events that you have participated in that you feel have had a big impact on the social change for the queer and trans community?

EM: I think that a lot of the work that Key and I, who is the other person at the Trans Alliance right now, are working to, the community right now is focused on healing work. That’s the kind of work I want to work towards: healing work. I feel that will be the kind of work that has the long-lasting impact. Right now, I’m working with my mentor, Monica Stevens, on this program called Generation T, which is a trans elder outreach. There are lot of trans elders that don’t have support. Like social support but also with things like health support because a lot of their families are absent and especially during Covid-19 where a lot of people have to be isolated. So, Monica and I got together, and it was something Monica had already started doing and wanted to do for a while and we’ve been developing a program to do virtual check-in’s on elders. We delivered groceries, medical supplies, and etcetera. I think that some of the work that I was doing before, I think the most effective work that I have found is the kind that works on doing healing and providing space and I would say the work that I do is listening and providing space for people. This is outside of art but it’s what I hope to bring into my art. And just providing space for people that feel hurt. Does that answer the question?

VG: I think so.

EM: Okay.

VG: I think that is a really cool program.

EM: Thanks

VG: What is your process of translating your intersectionality’s into your artwork?

EM: I used to try doing figure drawings. I was really bad at it. I started doing hand-drawn art and art that was more meditative and just letting myself go into it and kind of letting it focus on gradual change. That is what I bring to that kind of art. I’m very terrible at the big picture. It’s like its executive function stuff and I can’t just be like “oh! This is what it’s gonna look like. I like to think that I think that and then I’m like “oh, I actually have no idea how to get there.” I kind of like do a lot of my art in a way that is like, I add one thing at a time and it just adds up and then I adjust it over time but not in a way that I will know what it will look like in the end. That brings my mental illness into it. It’s not a very productive process but it’s the only way I know how and it’s also my style.

VG: Interesting

EM: Does that make sense?

VG: Yeah, it kind of sounds like a puzzle, and in the end, you get a cool surprise.

EM: Yeah, it’s like if you had puzzle pieces and just kind of put them together any which way and you’re like “oh this kinda looks like this” and then it’s like a horse at the end. Even though it was supposed to be a picture of a castle or something.

[EM and VG laugh]

EM: I kinda lean into the mistakes. I just make that a part of it.

VG: That’s cool.

EM: Yeah. Cause I’m hypercritical of myself. It forces me to accept my mistakes.

VG: Yeah, I have to work on that. Being a perfectionist, you’re just like “no, let me redo this mistake.”

EM: Oh yeah, I’m like a huge perfectionist. So, with my graphic design art, is where I can undo things. I do micro like, edit the stuff. It takes me forever.

VG: Are there other artists that you draw your inspiration from?

EM: Okay, so this is a long list. In terms of traditional artists in art, Tom Miller, who has done a lot of mural paintings in Baltimore.I guess his style is angular and a lot of the stuff I’ve done in the past year was based on the year from 2019 teamwork stuff. Kind of like the angular style that he does. Sulki and Min, I like the way that they use apple paint patterns to make stuff and then Memphis style art. The 80s and 90s style, like triangles and zigzags, stuff like that. Then for illustrators and comic, graphic novel artist, Kizuki Sumiyoshi, who does Pokémon cards, who does the illustrations.

[EM and VG laugh]

EM: It’s like a very specific set of Pokémon cards that have a specific style and I love it. Hayao Miyazaki. Princess Mononoke is my favorite movie.

VG: Oh, yeah. I remember that one. That one was good.

EM: Yeah. He did Spirited Away, Ponyo.

VG: Studio Ghibli [puts thumbs up]

EM: Yeah, Studio Ghibli. Those are like my favorite. Specifically, he had with Nasuka of the Valley of the Wind. He did some comic art for that before it became a movie and I drew some inspiration from some of that. Also Moebius. He’s a French comic artist, who also drew inspiration from Hayao Miyazaki. Dave McKean, who did all the cover art for Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman. Marjane Satrapi, who did Persepolis. Majorie Liu and Sana Takeda, who did Monstress and Daniel Clowes, who did Ghost World and stuff. I like the way he uses three different colors for the whole thing.

I play a lot of queer video games and games about queer mental illness. Things like that. So, indie video games specifically are places where I can find a lot of representation in that kind of stuff. Night in the Woods with Scott Benson and Bethany Hockenberry. A game I played recently was If Found, which was Laura McGee and Liadh Young. So, npckc, who is a Japanese trans video game developer, who makes a lot of cute little games and she has a series about being trans and like a trans woman in Japan. Anna Anthropy, who makes various queer games. She’s also trans. Brianna Lei, who did Butterfly Soup, which is one of my favorites. It’s like a [laughs] visual novel. There was 11:45 a beautiful life by Deconstructeam, which is a game about trauma and you have to remove your bones because they aren’t your bones. Somebody put somebody else’s bones in your body. You have to remove like your teeth and remove all these things. Kind of like a [visual] trauma thing.

I draw inspiration from a lot of different things, which aren’t really art but like poets and writers. Can I say those? So for poets, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Octavia Butler, N.K. Jemeson, and there’s a podcast of The Far Meridian and then I draw a lot of inspiration from my peers and mentors. So, Monica Stevens, my mentor. Luna Oak, who did this tattoo on me. [Shows leaf tattoo on chest].

VG: Yeah. Cool leaf.

EM: Yeah, it’s an Elm leaf and my initials are E.L.M. Evan Lori Mahone. I purposely made them that way. I also go by Elm sometimes. My friend, PK Kowaleski, Jaz Barnett, Kevi Smith-Joyner, and Jamie Grace Alexander. Sorry, that list was so long. I wrote it down because I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember people’s names.

VG: It’s good to have inspiration from several sources.

EM: Yeah.

VG: How do you feel your artwork contributes to the social change for the queer community?

EM: Well, a lot of my art is functional. I mean, not in a very direct way, I think in a way of me being a person living with these experiences. Doing my art, inspiring others. Hopefully, just through inspiring others. I like making art with people and kind of just teaching people to let it come out of their hands and not care and not be so critical of themselves and let whatever comes out, come out and put it all together into something that they can create. I don’t know, words are hard.

I guess also a lot of the art I’ve done is for the Baltimore Transgender Alliance. I do a lot of buttons. Make a lot of little button designs. They help make you feel like you belong to other queer and trans people. I’ve done portrait series for trans folks that have passed away or have been murdered. When I am making them, I delve into the idiosyncrasy of each person. For a lot of trans women, the way they do their make-up, like eyebrows and trying to represent that and show the person that they were. Because a lot of these people, we don’t get to know a lot about them. So, I try to bring out the person that they showed to society every day, and kind of be able to humanize and take away the sense that each of these women, these community members are people. And get it away from statistically analyzing them.

Also providing ways to heal. I mean, through the BTA, we do a lot of vigil and funeral work and providing a comfortable space for people to deal with that trauma and with the trauma of seeing people that they may have not known well but they still feel it and just creating that space where people can begin to heal.

VG: What got you into graphic design and how did you find your style?

EM: I don’t know, I’ve just been self-teaching. I’ve never gone to art school or anything. I took high school art classes, but I got into graphic design, I guess through like I did a lot of hand-drawn art. When I started working with the BTA in 2016, I started using entirely free tools for graphic design because I'm poor. I don’t use Photoshop or Illustrator or anything because those are expensive as fuck. I use Enscape, Gimp, an image processor, and Preda. Tools like that. I started using Inkscape more. Which is basically like Illustrator. Just to make the poster designs because they have to be able to be scalable. For my style, like a hand-drawn style, it kind of took from my hand-drawn style into a digital style. I use a lot of patterns that do small changes in growth. Like taking one specific part or thing and just changing it a little bit and changing it just a little bit and changing it just a little bit until it becomes something entirely different. That’s a style I use in hand-drawn art that I brought in a lot on my digital art. Yeah, I don’t know. It’s just something my hands did when I was doing the meditative kind of art and just found the things that felt good and looked good. Basically, I throw stuff at something until it looks good, and then I’m like “I should do that some more. Oh, those outlines look good with double outlines or like things like that or with shadows”, but I also use a shit ton of reference material. I’ll look at other artist’s work to see what looks good ‘cause in my brain, I’m like “I’m just gonna throw stuff at this until it looks good but it’s really quicker to be like this is what other people do.” [Laughs]

VG: Do you feel your illustrator, graphic design skills and coding skills have influenced each other when you are creating art?

EM: My coding skills kind of go into a pattern thing. It’s kind of like a recursive pattern. Something you do in coding is make recursive algorithms. Also, things like neural networks, are very fascinating to me and things I studied in college and bring in a lot of patterns into my work that I learned through coding and through computer science. I just really love patterns.

VG: How has your work evolved over time?

EM: My work has evolved… I don’t know. If you look at my other art, like my hand-drawn art, it has a very specific style that more that kind of just like mediative but then for my digital art, it's more kind of structured and but I use a lot of the patterns and stuff in backgrounds or in different aspects of it. It’s evolved to represent actual things and be more functional as well.

VG: Now, what are some of the collaborations that you have done in the past and are planning to do in the future?

EM: [looks at roommate] [Unjenum], do you wanna make a [scene] together some time?

EM’s Roommate: Sure

EM: Alright, I’m gonna make a [scene] with [Unjenum].

[EM and VG laugh]

EM: I’m supposed to be working on a tiny video game with my friend Josie and collaborations I’ve done in the past, a lot of the collaborations that I have done have been drawing together with friends or painting together with friends. I’d love to do comics or graphic novel kind of stuff. Team up with somebody that actually knows how to write ‘cause I don’t, but also small indie games. Just about like mental illness and emotions.

VG: What do you think is the most important part of your work?

EM: Hmm. Just kind of putting myself into it, I guess, and [through] that and everyone else that I know and care about and have learned from.

VG: What do you do when people do not accept your art or the queer community?

EM: Mm. You know I don’t have time for them. A lot of the time it’s just like they’re not ready as much as I could try and convince them. That will do nothing. It’s about their level of empathy and what they’re ready to do and they are clearly not there. I can’t do anything about that. Maybe other people might have better luck with that, but I sure won’t.

VG: If you had to give a message to everyone, what would it be?

EM: Probably just learn to fucking listen and just not talk. Just learn and just listen. God, that sounds so condescending. Take your ego out of your work. You know we have a real problem in this country with empathy. People will say “oh, it’s just that people aren’t educated enough.” That’s not what it is. It’s literally that our culture is based on these neoliberal ideas of just being out there for yourself and we need to deconstruct the hell out of that because it’s just so gross. We need to have empathy via a core value of our culture and the foremost. I guess you could put compassion in there too ‘cause they are kinda different things.

VG: Is there anything that I missed that is important for people to understand about your work?

EM: Mmm. I can’t think of anything.

VG: Alright.

EM: Do you have any other questions?

VG: Nope. That is all.

EM: That’s All? Okay. It was nice talking. Let me know if you have any other questions.