All the zone football and netball competitions are over and the finalists are ready for the district finals. We have planned three days in each district. Two days for the finals and an extra day to select the district select teams. It is May and we are on schedule. I’m in Nkhata Bay and it is raining hard. The football pitch is waterlogged and the netball court is a mud bath. I’m here alone except for Mr. Konje and his Luwazi team. By 11 am the sun comes out and the games begin. I umpire the netball and Mr. Ngosi a local primary teacher and great referee takes charge of the football. The next day I awake to some serious overnight allegations of no teacher supervising a drunken Chintheche mob that were harassing some girls. We have some trial games and a select team is selected. Mr. Longwe now has a team to work with if required. I leave Nkhata Bay on a high. There is one final down and seven to go. In Mzuzu Jomo Ngongo is busy planning the Mzuzu City finals. I meet the DEM but he has had no official complaints from Kalombo. Mr. Msiska explains a bit of history about Kalombo. He knows him from Nkhata Bay a long time ago and says he has long standing issues with the north. The DEM says I should just put it down to petty jealousy and bias towards the North. It is not a recent problem he explains. An annoying side issue winds me up today. An Ekwendeni Rest House owner visits me today saying ten teachers on a recent athletics course left without paying and he intends to sue the Divisional Education Office. They had no right to expect me to pay. I’ll be popular if that happens. It does and we eventually have to pay the bill from the sports budget. I have given up on my typist Mr Starkey Beast and have found a lady who lets me use her computer over her lunch. The DEM tells me the footballs are cancelled this month as 80% of the funds need to go on buying a new vehicle. I’m in discussions with the DEM about finding a counter-part to work alongside me for the rest of the year with a view to handing over. We also have a power struggle in Ekwendeni with Mr. Kanyika and Mrs. Kabango battling it out. I go there and find Kanyika drunk in a bar. He comes to see me and tries to explain. In Malawi you need to listen to all sides of a problem and then still have no idea what’s happening. These are busy times but I’m focused.

Jomo has managed to organise the Mzuzu finals. We have two great days of sport. Our Time Private School beat Katoto 4-2 on penalties in the football. Fundani Private beat Marymount 21-6 in the netball. There are a few allegations of illegal players from Our Time. I make a surprise visit and ask to see the school registers. All the names are there but just checking. Mzuzu has managed to select twenty four boys and sixteen girls for future training. Well done Jomo Ngongo. Most days I face silliness in this job usually revolving around others. A FAM representative was watching today and told me if our pitches weren’t correctly marked we couldn’t play. I get a call from the Athletics Association of Malawi (AAAM) today saying they want John Kayange our U19 cross country champion to join a training camp in Kenya. I couldn’t deny John this opportunity and we called him to Mzuzu but after a week of frustrations he had to be sent home as there was no training. Fabiano is in Likoma this week. He must like the job as he is only getting transport and 200 kwacha a day from me. Our relationship has improved of late and I want to help him make his job a success. I finally get a cheque for the footballs so I will go to Zomba next week to buy them.

I arrive late in Mzimba and all the schools are there. We have a great planning meeting and all seems well organised by Joseph and his team. The only problem today was two drunken teachers turning up late not with their teams and a drunken linesman I had to substitute after he fell over. We also had our fair share of juju.

Mzimba Secondary School won the football beating rivals St John Bosco 2-0. They beat the same school in the netball. The selection day worked well and a squad was selected by the teachers with little support from me. At the bus station waiting for the 8 pm Blantyre Express Joseph tells me that some people think I’m a racist. Ackim Mukolongo had also suggested it in Lilongwe after the cross country. I have no answer to Joseph but cast my mind back to calling Ackim a ‘mad Malawian’ at one point during a heated agreement. Is that a racist comment I wondered all the way to Blantyre on the night bus. In Blantyre I go to Brincon Sports and collect the poorly made kits that MultiChoice has donated. I have a tense meeting with Mukolongo in Zomba but don’t mention what he said to Joseph. I buy the balls and put them on the next bus to Mzuzu. The balls beat me back to Mzuzu as we get a breakdown and have to spend the night in a cold Kasungu bus station.

The next stop is Rumphi. A frustrating day waiting for teams and referees ends with Our Future Private School beating Pachichi Private School 2-1. Phwezi Girls win the netball with a ‘B’ team as all the best players have gone to Lilongwe it seems. We get local teacher and FAM referee Mr. ‘Play On’ Stima to handle the select game and a squad is picked by the teachers in front of a very big crowd.

The tour continues as I travel north to Karonga. I agree to referee a football match between two local clubs as I have a football and a whistle. It goes well but after the game a drunk tells me I’m not fit to be FIFA qualified referee!! The Karonga committee has done a good job and all teams are here. I have to referee three games under pretty tough conditions today but it goes without major incident. Karonga CDSS win the football and the netball. The zonal select team idea has caused a few problems but at least the best players are here and we have had a chance to see them.

I get a free and easy four hour ride to Chitipa. I bump into Alex Kamanga in the boma. He tells me that Ackim Mukolongo had told our boys about how useless we were and we always try and cheat. Our boys were shocked at the allegations as they only saw us doing a fair and good job. There is a real buzz in Chitipa with all teams having been around for a few days already. It is three days before the finals start so I get a ride to Misuku from the police again and visit John Kayange. Misuku CDSS are due to go to Chitipa but they first have to walk four hours to Kapoka and then find transport. Hope they make it. We have a planning meeting the night before and things seem on course. One teacher Mr Msachi from Nkhangwa CDSS pleased me by showing me his sports file. I was more than proud of him until Mr Singogo enjoyed telling me that he often cheated and used local players who were not at school.

My last words were ‘be punctual’. The referees are late and I offer to be a linesman. The referee keeps ignoring my flag so I go and ask him why. ‘Get off the pitch’ he shouts as common sense totally fails us. There were huge crowds and a great atmosphere like nothing Chitipa had seen since last year. The netball final is first between Chitipa and Nkhangwa CDSS. Mr. Phiri our calm and competent umpire is getting hassled in a rough game. In the 4^th quarter he gives up and I take over. In the football Chitipa beat Nkhumano CDSS 4-0. A select team was pretty easy to pick with a few rural players getting their chance alongside the boma boys. That night in a bottle shop I meet Mr. Chihana a local head. He tells me so many people are proud of my efforts in the north and how they hope I will stay longer. My strong defence of the north against Kalombo’s allegations is becoming something of legend it seems. I’m proud that people are proud of me. At 4 am I get a knock at my door as a vehicle is leaving for Nthalire. By 9.30 pm I’m in Rumphi after a long bumpy ride through Nyika National Park. I had spent a very cold five hours zipped inside a big football bag in the back of a lorry.

Back at the office I get a call from Saidi saying ‘where had I been’ and informing me the Coca Cola Schools National Finals will be August 4^th, 5^th and 6^th. Our finals are planned for July 21^st and 22^nd so we are on course. I can start to make plans for accommodation, transport and try and book the stadium.

I meet the sports committee in Ekwendeni the night before their finals. A few arguments and two very drunk teachers from Euthini CDSS spoil the atmosphere. The day was good. The only hassle to spoil things was during a typical penalty shoot-out I told poor old Mr. Kanyika to ‘fuck off’ as he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He left and I went to see him later to apologise. Euthini CDSS and their drunken teachers won the football. Ekwendeni won the netball. The next day it is chaos so I just sit calmly and say come and get me when you are ready to start. We are trying to select the best players but obviously not everyone is in agreement. My rule of one representative from each zone on the selection committee is proving hard to control.

One of the great things about my job is I get to travel to some amazing places in the Northern Division. Next stop was Likoma Island. Getting to Likoma is a real adventure. The Ilala Ferry built in 1953 travels up and down Lake Malawi. On a Monday night it leaves Nkhata Bay for the nine hour trip. I’m in luck as my old friend Charles Choka is the new Head of Likoma Secondary School and it is his moving day. After loading beans, a wardrobe and Mrs Choka we are off to Nkhata Bay. It is a cold trip and I’m holding a wardrobe tied on badly. The Ilaha Ferry is in and due to leave at 7 pm. I found out later the captain had been asked to wait for two important passengers who arrived around 8.30 pm. I arrive at 6 am and go straight to the District Education Office and wait. I watch a primary school district football final between Yofu and Chiteko FP. It was chaos and I wondered if this was a similar story all over the north. In the afternoon Likoma Secondary School beat Chizumulu CDSS 5-0. Chipyera CDSS and Chizumulu CDSS drew 0-0 so it all rested on tomorrow’s final game. Likoma SS beat Chipyera in a very violent and badly controlled game so qualified for the Divisional Finals. The next day at 6 am I’m on Orissa beach with the Chizumulu team waiting for a dhow boat. It took two and a half hours to cross with forty kids and a sea sick Divisional Sports Officer in a very leaky boat. I now know what their teacher meant by transport problems. I spend the day on the island and visit some primary schools. At 6 pm the Ilala arrives and we head back to Nkhata Bay.