Medical Gaslighting

When You’re Dismissed Instead of Heard: Understanding Medical Gaslighting

At AKG Advocacy, we believe every patient deserves to be listened to, believed, and respected. Yet too many people—especially those with chronic illnesses, invisible disabilities, or complex medical conditions—experience something called medical gaslighting.

What Is Medical Gaslighting?

Medical gaslighting happens when a healthcare provider dismisses or minimizes your symptoms, blames them on anxiety or stress, or makes you question your own experiences. It can sound like:

• “You’re just overreacting.”

• “It’s all in your head.”

• “You read too much online.”

• “Your labs are normal, so there’s nothing wrong.”
  
  

While these statements may sound harmless, they can cause real harm—delaying diagnoses, increasing emotional distress, and eroding trust between patients and providers.

Why It Happens

Medical gaslighting is often unintentional but deeply systemic. It stems from:

• Time pressures and high patient loads

• Gender and racial bias in medicine

• Lack of understanding of rare or complex conditions

• Over-reliance on test results instead of lived experience
  
  

Patients with conditions like Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, autoimmune disorders, dysautonomia, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome often face this most.

The Emotional Toll

Being told “nothing is wrong” when you know something is can make you doubt yourself and delay seeking further care. Many patients begin to feel hopeless, anxious, or even afraid to go to the doctor again.
At AKG Advocacy, we want you to know: you are not overreacting—your pain and your experience are real.

How to Respond to Medical Gaslighting

Here are a few practical steps to protect yourself:

1. Document everything. Write down your symptoms, dates, and what providers say.

2. Bring a support person or advocate. A second set of ears helps ensure your concerns are heard.

3. Ask for clarification in writing. (“Can you note in my chart that you don’t believe my symptoms are significant?”)

4. Seek a second opinion. You have the right to another provider who takes your symptoms seriously.

5. Trust your instincts. No one knows your body better than you do.
   
   

How AKG Advocacy Can Help

We teach patients and caregivers how to:

• Communicate effectively with healthcare teams

• Organize and present medical documentation

• Write strong, evidence-based appeal letters when care is denied

• Regain confidence after being dismissed or disbelieved
  
  

Because advocating for yourself isn’t disrespectful—it’s essential.

You deserve compassionate care, accurate information, and providers who listen. And if you’ve experienced medical gaslighting, you are not alone—we’re here to help you find your voice again.

Dealing with Difficult Providers

Sample Dialogue: How to Handle Medical Gaslighting Professionally and Effectively

Scenario:

A patient with chronic pain and fatigue visits their doctor after months of worsening symptoms. The provider dismisses the patient’s concerns instead of investigating further.

Provider:
“Your labs look normal, so I don’t think there’s anything serious going on. Maybe you’re just stressed or need more rest.”

Patient:
“I understand that stress can cause symptoms, but this pain and fatigue have been affecting my daily life for months. I’d really appreciate exploring other possible causes so we don’t overlook something important.”

Provider:
“I think you’re overanalyzing it. You’ve probably been reading too much online.”

Patient:
“I do read about my condition so I can better understand what’s happening with my body. I’m not trying to self-diagnose — I’m trying to be an informed participant in my care. Could we look at my symptoms together and rule things out systematically?”

Provider:
“I just don’t see anything that warrants further testing right now.”

Patient:
“I respect your opinion, but I’d feel more comfortable if we could document that in my chart — that I requested further testing and it was declined. That way, if my symptoms worsen, we’ll both have a record of what’s been discussed.”

Provider:
“Well, if that’s what you want, I suppose we can order some labs.”

Patient:
“Thank you, I appreciate that. I want to work with you to find answers. I know you’re busy, but I also know my body, and something doesn’t feel right. I value your expertise and just want to make sure nothing is missed.”

Why This Works:

This approach:

• Keeps the tone respectful but firm

• Focuses on collaboration, not confrontation

• Encourages documentation, which discourages dismissive behavior

• Reframes self-advocacy as partnership, not defiance
  
  

Tips from AKG Advocacy:

• Bring a written symptom log and brief summary of how it impacts your daily life.

• Use “I” statements instead of accusations (“I feel” vs. “You never listen”).

• Stay calm and factual. Dismissive providers often rely on emotional reactions to label patients as “difficult.”

• Request documentation when a provider refuses a test, referral, or treatment.

• Bring a caregiver or advocate to appointments if you’ve been dismissed before.
  
  

“Advocating for yourself isn’t being difficult — it’s being responsible.”  - AKG Advocacy