It's poker--not Candyland!

When did poker become such a G-rated game? You're not even allowed to smoke when you're sitting at the table. That's the rule in casinos. What kind of a rule is that? What's next? "If you want to play poker at Caesar's Palace, first you have to plant a tree, take a vitamin, hug a kitten, and call your mother and tell her Happy Mother's Day." In the old days, poker was the exact opposite. You went to Caesar's Palace on Mother's Day, you played poker with seven chain smokers, you drank a bottle of whiskey, and you did not recycle that bottle afterwards. Instead, you were all like, "Fuck this bottle! This bottle can kiss my ass if it thinks I'm gonna recycle it!"