what might have happened had i gone to a different school? what if i was born in a different country, to a different family, or even in a different galaxy? who would i have been then?

i am usually trapped in my head, unaware of my immediate environment, so sometimes i have to force myself to remember that i should count my blessings. after all, i live in a relatively affluent, safe city where i am generally accepted at face value, and that is a privilege reserved for very few people like me. although it was initially a shock to come to uci (because i had never seriously considered the school up until i was accepted), i find myself grateful that i ended up at a place that seems to be a great fit for me. 

uci makes spaces that imitate pastoral settings, and it does a pretty good job, but it is all a facade. ultimately, the grass is green because of the sprinklers, the roads clean because of the work of the janitorial staff, and the nature carefully pruned and controlled by the gardeners. but there's nothing wrong with being a liminal space; in fact, liminal spaces are some of my favorite places to be. i love empty hallways, passageways, subways-- they are so perfectly in-between. although i am usually hurrying through them to get from point a to point b, it's nice sometimes to just walk slowly and appreciate the journey.

university, to me, is a liminal space. i'm figuring out where i come from, who i am, and where i'm going. it's ok to walk slow, to soak in the sun, and to realize that i, for a brief time, am occupying space in this vast universe.