The Relationship Myths

Common Myths, lies or misconceptions overlay most relationships. These Myths are born from cultural, ethnic or religious beliefs.

1. Parents are obligated to the child
   Balance - Parents are not obligated to the child. They choose to be responsible. EVERYTHING done after birth, energetically, is a gift not an obligation, even if it is experienced as such.

2. Children are obligated or owe their parents
   Balance - Children are not obligated to their parents, nor do they “owe” them anything. (not even respect, because respect is earned not given). Children choose to be responsible for parents as a gift, not as payment for a debt or out of obligation, even if it experienced as such.

3. Who “one is” as a parent is defined by the child
   Balance - Who “one is” as a parent is defined by the parent NOT the child. It is solely based on what the parent wishes to experience or learn from motherhood or fatherhood. This has nothing to do with anyone else except that particular parent.

4. Who “one is” as a person is defined by the parent
   Balance - Who “one is” as a person is defined by you and your choices and actions NOT your parent. It is solely based on what the you wish to experience or create yourself to be. This has nothing to do with anyone else except you.

5. Parents are responsible for how a child “turns out”
   Balance - Parents are not responsible for the choices or the complete potential of their children. They are only responsible for a part of their environment.

6. Pleasing your parent as an adult is the same as "respecting" them
   Balance - Adults making personal choices to please their parents as a way to show respect are behaving like children not adults.

Who “one is” as a person is defined by you and your choices and actions NOT your parent.

1. Your body as it is is “filth”, unclean, especially its sexual drive.Born from a multitude of religions is the idea that the human body is filth, dirty, and flawed from the start and that the expression of the sensual/sexual self defiles the body makes it unclean or weak. Also, anything sensual/sexual is unclean, dirty, filth or “forbidden”. This is the worst of lies, it is a FILTHY LIE.
   Balance - The sensual/sexual self is the balance expression of self. It is the pure energetic expression of self. It is necessary for full and optimal emotional, mental and physical health, as well as overall optimal wellbeing and total fulfillment.

2. The sensual /sexual self unexpressed is pure, clean.
   Balance - The sensual/sexual self unexpressed brings dis-ease or disease to the bodies. Total fulfillment, and full self-awareness is not possible without such expressions.

3. Having multiple intimate relationships is “filthy”, bad, makes you unclean.
   Balance - The exact opposite is true. Having many Intimate relationships can bring you stronger knowledge of self, form strong self-esteem, and bring overall fulfillment. Therefore, having many intimate relationships and engagements is necessary for full self awareness, fulfillment and expression.

4. Your body, your motor and your sensual/sexual self should be sources of shame.
   Balance - Your body is the foundation of your expression of self, and your sensual/sexual self is one half of self expression. The pure energetic expression of self connects all other aspects of self. This myth above is one of the major beginning threads of “self-loathing”. “Self-Loathing” is a major human affliction.

5. Your intimate relationship is an integral aspect of your personal relationship.
   Balance - The intimate Relationship is a completely separate relationship from the Personal Relationship. They both must me maintained towards what you want in each and from both relationships.

6. Marriage is the ultimate expression of “Love”
   Balance - Marriage is NOT the ultimate expression of Love. Marriage is a contract of life and has NOTHING to do with love. Although, this contract can be one of the extensions of a love between two people, it in itself has nothing to do with love. This contract is not necessary for engaging in intimate/personal relationships nor is it the true desire of all individuals.

7. Marriage should be everyone’s ultimate goal.
   Balance - This contract is not necessary for engaging in intimate/personal relationships nor is it the true desire of all individuals.

8. When “Love” changes, it’s gone.
   Balance - “Love” is an ever changing emotional, mental and physical state in all relationships. It must and will, continuously change based on the changing ratio of elements. It endures only when the 2 individuals continuously direct the transformations to a balance that supports them both, emotionally, mentally and physically.

9. There is “one” perfect person for me.
   Balance - There is no “perfect one” or other that “completes” you. You are only perfect for YOU. Everyone and Everything is WHOLE and AUTONOMOUS and intrinsically possesses everything necessary to complete themselves / itself - to be.

10. The other person is your “other half”, the one that completes you.
    Balance - Everyone and Everything is WHOLE and AUTONOMOUS and intrinsically possesses everything necessary to complete themselves / itself - to be. Everyone is whole and autonomous and requires no completion, nor can they be completed because they already are complete.

11. Many relationships are dysfunctional.
    Balance - There is no such thing as a dysfunctional relationship. All relationships function precisely based on the emotional, mental, and physical functioning of both individuals and what they bring to each emotional, mental and physical engagement. Therefore, there is no dysfunction, only the total functioning of the individuals involved. They function precisely as they should.

12. “Work” or “Job” is your identity.
    Balance - You are NOT what you produce, but what you produce reflects you.

13. People don’t want to produce or work.
    Balance - False. Everyone has a need to produce, contribute or create something.

14. Work = Career
    Balance - This is Work and Job mixed up - Career is only the general direction of work or job. Your work has only to do with you and your skills. Job, is the exchange only!

15. Job / Work = Fulfillment
    Balance - True work Fulfillment comes only from honing and directing your NIBS - natural inborn skills.

16. Your work relationships are personal relationships
    Balance - Work relationships are not personal relationships. They are business relationships, period.

17. Your employer (job) owes you a living or is responsible for you.
    Balance - No one owes you a living but yourself. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is intrinsically responsible for maintaining and sustaining itself or themselves. Your employer is responsible for maintaining its contract to you which has ONLY to do with your job/performance, nothing more.