Top Reasons People get Vaccinated
by Alex Goodale
Published April 1st, 2022
It’s 2022, and COVID has been around for two years now. And for about a year, people have been eligible to get a COVID vaccine (plus a booster). Let’s discuss ten of the most common reason people are getting vaccinated.
1. To see a comedy show — “I scored front row seats to a Carol Burnet show, but proof of vaccination is required. So, about a week ago I got jab” (JD, Uber-driver)
2. Or really any kind of concert that requires vaccination — “Seeing Harry Styles was a must, even though I had to get vaccinated. The government can track me through whatever substance is in the vaccine (because it’s not like they have any other ways to track people).” (Sarah Smith, student)
3. To go on vacation. “I never dreamed I would get the vaccine, but when the resort in Bora Bora said ir was going to require proof of vaccination I simply had to. I’m not happy about it, but I did it.” (Karen, at-home-mom)
4. Your parent told you not to get it “My mom told me not to get the vaccine, which means I obviously have to just to spite her” (Rebel Jones)
5. A favorite reporter said vaccines were good “I heard this guy on Fox News say vaccines are good, so I figured I should get it” (Chad, living with his parents)
6. A celebrity got the vaccine “I absolutely love Taylor Swift, and I do everything she does. So, I got the vaccine” (Saylor Twift, professional super-fan)
7. Accidentally ending up at a CVS offering vaccines and thinking “why not” — “Honestly, I don’t quite remember getting the vaccine, I was probably high” (Doug, skateboarder)
8. Your job requires vaccination — “Um, I didn’t really want to get the vaccine, but I also need money so I got the vaccine to keep my job” (Benjamin Rudd the III, government official)
9.You thought the vaccine was secretly a mind-altering drug. “Yeah, my friend told me the vaccine had cocaine in it. Free drugs, amirite” (Anonymous, drug dealer)
10. You were drugged by a group of liberals and forced to get the vaccine — “I was at a pub hanging out with these crazy democrats one moment, and then my memory gets hazy and next thing I know I am vaccinated. Absolutely disgusting.” (Anonymous)
Well people, there you have it! The top ten reasons people get vaccinated.