Congratulations! You are finally at the wise old age of sixteen and a half. You also have happened to have finished your whopping twelve driving hours with some incredibly knowledgeable instructors. You know what this means! You are now eligible for your license test. So, you arrive at Needham Driving School, answer a few COVID-screening questions, and prepare for the lengthy and rigorous seven-minute driving exam. You pull out of the parking lot, stop at a stop sign (twice of course!), parallel park, reverse for fifty feet, do a three-point turn, and return to the parking lot. The examiner signs your permit and just like that, you have unlimited freedom right at your feet. Woohoo!
Now you, a newly-licensed junior, are the best driver in town and make that very clear. In fact, if we had to choose anyone to trust to drive us safely, the Needham juniors are exactly who we would choose. All juniors stop once for the law and once for their lives at every stop sign, kindly allow pedestrians to walk to their cars, give the right of way to those backing out of spots, and merge at the exit in an orderly fashion. They are parallel parking experts, and they most definitely do not avoid parallel parking at all. Parking in parking lots without pulling through spots is also in their driving toolkit (the lower lot is proof of this). No curbs get hit, no lights get sped through -- all in all, the lower lot is just the place you want to be due to the cautious and patient nature of the lovely juniors.
Let’s really dig into the lovely mindset of these teen drivers, shall we? It has been quite the investigation, and the findings have been slightly concerning. These drivers think they are competent?? They exert their superiority over the sophomores with permits (we all know their extra seven months of driving experience justifies that), making sure to only drive over the speed limit when driving others. They honk at anyone going a tad bit slower, carefully navigating the terrifying parking lot where all of Needham’s newest drivers congregate and impatiently try to exit. We are slightly confused as to where these drivers got this confidence from. Certainly not from their mothers pumping the imaginary brake while supervising driving practice from the passenger seat!
All in all, we truly are impressed by the confidence new drivers portray. They seem to have no qualms while behind the wheel. We just hope their Jeep Wranglers are up to safety standards!
- Those of you who are fans of our previous article may recall that we are two juniors writing very late at night. We are now getting even closer to our breaking points. Find this funny or we’ll cry. xo
- About half the lifespan of the average owl.
- And incredibly normal.
- Rightfully so, of course, given the extremely impressive driving skills you have showcased.
- Ok, maybe a tad bit more than slightly.
- TERRIFYING. Who designed this?!
- Vocab!