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From Mrs. Trepanier:
Finding like-minded peers is often one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences in a gifted child’s life. Their above-average intelligence, emotional intensities and sensitivities, and their complex topics of interest can make them stand out, in an unfortunate way, among their same-age peers, and this often results in their peers rejecting them.
Finding like-minded peers is often one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences in a gifted child’s life. Their above-average intelligence, emotional intensities and sensitivities, and their complex topics of interest can make them stand out, in an unfortunate way, among their same-age peers, and this often results in their peers rejecting them.
Gifted students are often unaware that while they excitedly converse with classmates about a highly advanced topic, they are coming across as know-it-alls or arrogant to their classmates. Due to their larger-than-average knowledge base, gifted students often correct any and all incorrect or erroneous information of their classmates as well as teachers. The gifted child is not being disrespectful; to the contrary, he is very much concerned with knowledge and information, and the correct knowledge and information is critical to them.
Gifted students are often unaware that while they excitedly converse with classmates about a highly advanced topic, they are coming across as know-it-alls or arrogant to their classmates. Due to their larger-than-average knowledge base, gifted students often correct any and all incorrect or erroneous information of their classmates as well as teachers. The gifted child is not being disrespectful; to the contrary, he is very much concerned with knowledge and information, and the correct knowledge and information is critical to them.
This one can be difficult. Really difficult.
This one can be difficult. Really difficult.
I think Mrs. Trepanier touches on one part of the issue, but it is much larger. These social struggles don't just emanate from you knowing a lot of stuff. Peers can be turned off by a unique sense of humor - laughing at things they do not find funny in the least. Classmates can find it odd that you have a broad range of interests and do not know how to read your interest in their favorite things.
I think Mrs. Trepanier touches on one part of the issue, but it is much larger. These social struggles don't just emanate from you knowing a lot of stuff. Peers can be turned off by a unique sense of humor - laughing at things they do not find funny in the least. Classmates can find it odd that you have a broad range of interests and do not know how to read your interest in their favorite things.
Students are noticing that they are different from each other. And, at a point in your lives where students are uncomfortable seeing their minds and bodies and interests and feelings change inside of themselves, different is viewed as bad. Students can become very focused on fitting in and avoiding anything that risks making them stand out.
Students are noticing that they are different from each other. And, at a point in your lives where students are uncomfortable seeing their minds and bodies and interests and feelings change inside of themselves, different is viewed as bad. Students can become very focused on fitting in and avoiding anything that risks making them stand out.
For peers that you want to be friends, or that feel like they used to be closer than they are now, that might mean they pull away from you. Or worse, it might mean they are mean to you in an attempt to gain favor with other peers. For gifted students, it can be tempting to hide those traits for the same reason. Sometimes gifted students feel pressure to hide their interests, to get lower grades intentionally, or to act out in class to shed the label of teachers' pet. Looking rationally from outside the situation, hiding who you are to try to gain acceptance is a terrible idea, but these decisions aren't made from a detached, rational perspective.
For peers that you want to be friends, or that feel like they used to be closer than they are now, that might mean they pull away from you. Or worse, it might mean they are mean to you in an attempt to gain favor with other peers. For gifted students, it can be tempting to hide those traits for the same reason. Sometimes gifted students feel pressure to hide their interests, to get lower grades intentionally, or to act out in class to shed the label of teachers' pet. Looking rationally from outside the situation, hiding who you are to try to gain acceptance is a terrible idea, but these decisions aren't made from a detached, rational perspective.
The bad news is that there is not a lot you can do to completely eliminate this one. Many of the traits listed in this unit are about you, but this particular one is just as much about the people around you. Knowing that social struggles are common for gifted students and that you are not alone can help, but it doesn't make it any less unpleasant. It still hurts when you are not included in the way you would like.
The bad news is that there is not a lot you can do to completely eliminate this one. Many of the traits listed in this unit are about you, but this particular one is just as much about the people around you. Knowing that social struggles are common for gifted students and that you are not alone can help, but it doesn't make it any less unpleasant. It still hurts when you are not included in the way you would like.
The empathy, emotional intensities and sensitivities to fairness you may feel make it that much worse. Ironically, the more these social struggles bother you, the worse they tend to get. The students who most easily navigate this challenge seem to be the ones who are comfortable being different and don't mind standing out.
The empathy, emotional intensities and sensitivities to fairness you may feel make it that much worse. Ironically, the more these social struggles bother you, the worse they tend to get. The students who most easily navigate this challenge seem to be the ones who are comfortable being different and don't mind standing out.
The good news is that this one peaks now, and then is starts getting better. At no other time in your life will you and the people around you be as self-conscious, as aware and concerned with the changes within you, or as worried about finding your place in the social structure. This one gets easier to handle as you become more comfortable in your own skin, your peers become more comfortable in theirs, and the spaces you inhabit allow more room for individuality.
The good news is that this one peaks now, and then is starts getting better. At no other time in your life will you and the people around you be as self-conscious, as aware and concerned with the changes within you, or as worried about finding your place in the social structure. This one gets easier to handle as you become more comfortable in your own skin, your peers become more comfortable in theirs, and the spaces you inhabit allow more room for individuality.
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