Week 8, 2018 Newsletter

The Pioneer League 2018

Fantasy Baseball Newsletter

By John Inguagiato

…It was an eventful week down in penis land. (wisdom from my girlfriend)…

Week 8 Highlights

Week 8 was full of not-so-exciting games. Most games being decided by nearly 100 points. Lambdo Salerissian v. I GOT WOOD was the match-up of the week. Acuna Matata went from top dog to the dog house as he was dominated by Willie Mays Hayes who was looking for his first victory of the season. Rhy’s Pieces struck back against The EmpTurner handing the league’s perennial powerhouse his second loss of the season.

Week 8 Match-up Results

Kylolan Renado v. Jason’s Hot Sister: 354.75 – 272.75

- Jason’s team put up yet another excellent week and getting the win against his hot sister. Jason was helped by the consistent Andrelton Simmons (23.00 points) and Mookie Betts (24.00 points), and had guys like Nick Pivetta (35.00 points), Ross Stripling (29.00 points).

- Logan couldn’t do much else but chalk up this week as an L. He did not get much help from big names Giancarlo Stanton (-3.00 points) and Freddie Freeman (10.00 points). Lorenzo Cain. (28.50 points) was a glimmer of hope for Logan’s team as well as Kyle Hendricks (27.00 points) and Jason Vargas (20.00 points).

The Emperial Judge v. Sea Pom DickerJinn: 280.00 – 233.00

- A-A-Ron was able to snag the win, much needed, against Cody’s weak ass team. Aaron had his usual help from ape man Aaron Judge (27.50 points) and pre-pubescent boy Walker Buehler (51.00 points).

- Christian Yelich (26.50), Mitch Moreland, and Brandon Crawford (both 21.00 points) tried to assist Cody’s cause, but unfortunately his pitching was just not up for the challenge with heavy-weights Luis Severino, Charlie Morton, and Corey Kluber combining for 48.00 points.

Hoz Solo v. SeBellba: 219.75 – 315.25

- Ryan’s team took care of business this week against Trent. Ryan’s Indians did the dirty work with Mike Brantley, Jose Ramirez, and Francisco Lindor combining for 63.75 points, and on the pitching side had newest edition Mike Foltynewicz (33.00 points) and Edwin Diaz (32.00 points) solidify their roster spots.

- Trent’s offense grabbed points wherever they could find them. Eric Hosmer’s (-0.25 points) and Sonny Gray’s (-7.00 points) just didn’t help the cause. Trent’s team has been ransacked with injuries and this was yet another week of struggles.

Rhys’ Pieces v. The EmpTurner: 348.50 – 224.00

- Ecc’s team won this week with Alex Bregman (28.50 points) and Chris Taylor (26.50 points) doing most of the work from the batting side, and Dylan Bundy (40.00 points) and Jose Berrios (41.00 points) getting it done from the mound.

- Eric had a very abnormal week, scratching and clawing his way back into the match-up but falling way short. Young guys Gleyber Torres (32.00 points) and Juan Soto (19.50 points) was something to smile about, but that was about all that was preventing from a waterfall of tears from taking hold. I expect Eric to sleep in the fetal-position tonight and tomorrow and get back to work after the holiday weekend.

Acuna Matata v. Willie Mays Hayes: 196.00 – 295.00

- Well we were all waiting for it, Ryan finally got his first win of the season. He dominated Casey’s team this week, a team that was up until this point asserting itself as a top team. Ryan had some unexpected heroes in Evan Gattis (24.50 points) and Neil Walker (14.00 points). And of course, we cannot forget about pitchers J.A. Happ (42.00 points) and Trevor Bauer (40.00 points) who slayed their opponents this week taking Casey with them.

- Casey struggled to find scoring this week. Young prospects Ronald Acuna Jr. (7.00 points), Matt Chapman (-0.50 points) struggled. While pitchers Matt Harvey, Lance McCuller Jr, James Faria, and Sal Romano combined for -27.00 points.

Attack of the Clones v. AndersonGotTickets?: 422.00 – 320.00

- Brendan’s power hitting lineup got the job done once again this week with Houston Astros George Springer (33.50 points) and Jose Altuve (38.50 points) having big weeks. Brendan’s pitching also had a huge week with 6 of his pitchers (Tanaka, Hammel, Kimbrel, Mengden, Musgrove, Maeda) going for 25.00+ points each, and 2 others (Strasburg and Shields) going for 21.00+.

- Tony’s team was anchored by Scooter Gennett (37.00 points), Mike Trout (40.00 points), and Gerrit Cole (37.00 points) but could not overcome the blitzkrieg of Brendan’s high-powered offense. Tony was not helped any by Giolito’s sad performance (-24.00 points).

Lambdo Salerissian v. I GOT WOOD: 342.50 – 325.75

- Match-up of the week (see note)

Match-up of the Week: Lambdo Salerissian v. I GOT WOOD

- Johnny was able to snap his injury driven losing streak and snag a win against a tough opponent in I GOT WOOD (Mike Anranovich). Johnny’s win was helped by the Brewers bats this week in Travis Shaw (39 points) and Jesus Aguliar (22.00) and from newest addition pitcher’s James Paxton (32.00 points), who was acquired via trade from this past week, and Sunday pick up Blaine Hardy (26.00 points). I GOT WOOD’s Miles Mikolas (48.00 points) and Marcos Gonzalez (28.00 points) were not enough to get him the W.

Biggest Blowout(job) of the Week: Rhy’s Pieces v. The EmpTurner

- Eric’s team needs to pick the needles back up and get back to form quickly.

Biggest Disappointment of the Week: Acuna Matata

- Casey needs to wipe the tears and figure out what his club is doing.

Stars of the Week

Batting

1. Mike Trout 40 points

2. Travis Shaw 39 points

3. Jose Altuve 38.50 points

4. Scooter Gennett 37 points

Pitching

1. Walker Buehler 51 points

2. Miles Mikolas 48.00 points

3. JA Happ 42 points

4. Jose Berrios 41 points

5. Dylan Bundy 40 points / Trevor Bauer 40 points

Week 9 Preview:

Lambdo Salerissian (3-5) v. Sea Pom DickerJinn (3-5)

- Not a big match-up to look forward to with this one. Two tough teams look to get an edge up and work towards a .500 record. This match-up is a stalemate right now and took average to call a winner or loser.

Kylolan Renado (5-3) v. I GOT WOOD (3-5)

- Jason will look to keep things moving next week against I GOT WOOD. I GOT WOOD is coming off a tough week and will look to quickly fix things and improve. Jason should be able to pull this one out, but I GOT WOOD cannot be counted out given that he has had great production this season from some unsung guys.

The Emperial Judge (4-4) v. The EmpTurner (6-2)

- Aaron’s team will try to take down Eric’s powerhouse next week straight off a big win. Eric was just embarrassed this past week and will look forward to fixing his week and stomp out Aaron. Eric will likely be able to fix the holes and get back to winning next week.

Hoz Solo (1-7) v. Acuna Matata (6-2)

- Trent will look to take down Casey while his team is weak. Casey has been struggling to score the past couple weeks and Trent will try to exploit Casey’s struggles and snag his second win of the season. Casey is coming off a sad and weak loss and is praying that his players wake up and get back to work. I think Casey’s scoring drought could possibly continue on another week, because all baseball players and fans know that superstition runs deep, and Casey will need his guys to change their daily routines before this thing gets corrected. Trent, it’s now or never in week 9.

Jason’s Hot Sister (3-5) v. SeBellba (6-2)

- Jason’s sister will need to wake up extra early and check her ego at the door. She can reclaim her hotness if she is able to take down Ryan who has been on an absolute tear this season. I do not see Ryan trying to do any favors this week and it should be another W for him next week. Cody’s team could use some electrolytes and maybe a new bicep workout because right now there is not much to flex.

Rhys’ Pieces (4-4) v. AndersonsGotTickets? (4-4)****(Match up alert)

- Two .500 teams will look to break free from the pack and begin winning ways. I consider this to be the real match-up of the week. Rhys’ Pieces is coming off an impressive win, while AndersonsGotTickets? Is coming off a bad loss. Week 9 will only have one winner, and this match-up will produce one over .500 team and one under .500 team. I expect these clubs to go all out to get the win. Best of luck boys.

Attack of the Cloned (7-1) v. Wille Mays Hayes (1-7)

Ryan got his first win, and maybe more is to come. He will look to throw his massive pangus on the table in next week’s match-up against Brendan and show him who’s boss. However, Brendan will have a counter ready. His team has been something to watch this season and his scoring is allergic to droughts. Brendan, I think, will come out of this dog fight on top leaving Ryan to wonder when that next magical W will be hitting his win column.