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1 Caregiver-and-working Parent and 1 child with autism with working husband and another child
3 volunteers
Circle meetings are online. We will meet on the second Saturday morning of each month from 9am to 10.30am
Circle is about providing respite care for caregiver by having volunteers to engage special needs child or by connecting with and taking turns with other caregivers to take care of their special needs children together.
professional couple who strive to balance their WORK LIVES, taking care of their two young children, ONE of whom is autistic.
professional couple who strive to balance their WORK LIVES, taking care of their two young children, ONE of whom is autistic.
Background
Alan and Linda are both professionals. Alan is a software engineer while Linda is an accountant. The couple has a 5-year-old boy, Vincent who has ASD and GDD, and a 1-year-old daughter, May. They struggle to balance their hectic work lives, being parents as well as making time for each other to sustain their marriage. For Linda, she said that these Circle meetings are a great place for her to vent, share and process her difficult emotions. Together as a couple, they have verbalized that their primary need for the Circles meeting is to find ways and strategies to alleviate their caregiving load so that they have time for respite and self-care. They are sincere practicing Buddhists who follow the famous western Buddhist monk, Ajahn Brahm. They live in central west of Singapore.
Circle Objectives
Circle Objectives
1. Ongoing needs:
a. Linda and Alan would like to maintain a positive mind during their caregiving journey. They would like to practice more self-compassion, and self-acceptance, have a sense of inner peace, honor their emotions and be kinder and gentler to themselves. They would like to get back to their meditation and mindfulness practice (from the Buddhist or secular traditions) as their minds have a tendency to go everywhere.
b. Alan would like to avoid doing too much OT and have more time for self-care after coming back from work and putting the kids to bed.
c. Alan wishes to have more couple time with Linda instead of taking care of the kids e.g. watch movies or go karaoke. Both specifically take leave from work when kids are in school.
2. Immediate priority and focus for Circle:
a. Be connected to more experienced caregivers with similar profiles of special needs children to learn how they manage the lack of nap times for their son and figure out ways to address stimming. Being in the presence of these caregivers can make life less lonely because of the shared life experience and a sense of community. This could pave the way to cultivate greater self-compassion and acceptance of the range of difficult emotions and feelings.
b. Organize outings with other caregiver families, build trust and rapport with these families and eventually take turns to take care of one another’s children to have more respite care. One way could be to organize play dates with special needs or non-special needs children. The easiest activity could be playing at the playground, followed by playing “throw and catch” with a ball or a walk in the park.
c. Arrange trial sessions for volunteers to engage the kids in the presence of Alan or Linda so that volunteers can gain the confidence to engage the kids by themselves. This could accord Alan or Linda time for respite care.
3. Vision in 1 year’s time:
a. Our first 5-year-old son will go to primary school. Our hope is for him to be more independent in his self-care. Most importantly, he would be able to go to the toilet independently and eat by himself. In primary school, he would not have the same level of help he used to have in preschool. Alan would like to learn from other parents how they train their special needs kids to be more independent.
b. Their son would explore alternative ways to regulate his emotions and occupy himself meaningfully instead of stimming for hours. They hope he will explore the world more and learn to play with toys.
c. Their second daughter will be 2 years old. She will be able to play by herself. She would not need as much monitoring by us.
4. Longer-term vision:
a. Both Alan and Linda would like to attend a retreat with Ajahn Brahm one day.
b. Alan and Linda will be financially independent and retire at the age of 55 to pursue their own dreams. Linda would like to do more social work to care for persons with special needs and dementia.
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