This fun song by Rockapella makes me think of a story of a failed affair Snakes had during the Old West days. Some lines didn't quite fit, so I altered them the same as I did with the All Dogs Go to Heaven song. Overall, though, most of the song fits fine.
I sort of picture this happening shortly after the end of the Civil War, when Snakes is still very young and inexperienced and isn't yet a crime boss. When the girl seems interested in him, he jumps on that. He doesn't have much money, but he aspires to bigger things in the future, both for himself and for the girl.
One thing I left intact is the mild swear word and the mildly rude word. Why? Because this is first-person narrative and it's Snakes we're talking about, a rather worldly sort who has probably said a lot worse.
I've put an asterisk beside changed lines.
FLIPTOP TWISTER OF LOVE
*We met in New Orleans,
I tore my best red suit
And Lady Luck had just smacked my face
The lanky croupier was dealin' on you hard
And I thought maybe I could be your ace
Then like a slingshot right in the butt of Fate,
We're tradin' winkers and countin' beans
We hit the window, and all night long we bounced
Upon a mattress made of paper greens
Here I insert that I interpret that last part as them getting drunk and literally jumping in stacks of money, maybe some of Snakes' ill-gotten gains, because that is an absolute hilarious image and I prefer it over just figuring it's something suggestive.
The morning sun was an egg yolk we'd never seen
*We're chuggin' beer like we're sipping champagne
I've got a steak on my eye, but don't you ever cry
I'll make you happy as a duck someday
Line was altered only because the original said "cokes" and Coca-Cola wouldn't have been invented yet.
I was a sucker for the pickup,
The stickup, and every saucy hiccup,
The foam-mouth mongrel of love
Ain't nothing worse in my brain than
When I feel too sane,
And how I wish I'm gonna find my home
I think it suits me, Australian ostrich boots,
I think it suits you, a diamond ring
I think it suited the man who said so much so fast
To steal away with every last damn thing
Ahh, the morning sun was an eyeball we'd never seen,
But there was red in the schlera of love
We pulled the one-armed bandits
And we ate our sandwiches
Of knuckles in a black leather glove
You were a runner for the mixup,
The fixup, and gettin' boys' wicks up
A lift-off locust of love
Ain't nothin' worse in your mind than
When you're feelin' fine,
And now I think I've finally found my home
Yes Sir, and now I think I've finally found my home, hey!
*Now it's not amazing how I've become so done
*Crazy wacky how you're so not
I still got raspberry seeds between my teeth,
And now I'm slurpin' from a bowl of slop
*The pretty lady still flips her chips about
*I guess it's just in your genes to roam
So like a buckshot right in the butt of Fate
I think I wish I'm never goin' home, no Sir!
I think I wish I'm never goin' home
*You were a junkie for the break-up,
The make-up, and every little shake-up,
The fliptop twister of love
*Ain't nothin' worse in your mind than
*When you're feelin' fine
And now I wish I'm never goin' home
The girl sounds like a real femme fatale from part of the original song. Still, in the original song, it's the guy cheating on the girl at the end. But my version of Snakes would have put his all into such a relationship, since he wanted so badly to be cared about, so I flipped it to have it be the girl cheating on him, not to mention enjoying chaos in their relationship, and he finally gets fed-up and breaks it off, even though he was so crazy about her and he knows he'll be alone again.