I was out the other day looking for lost cat and/or lost dog signs as they seem reveal something interesting either about the cat or dog or about the owner.
There were not many signs about but in the end I found two. Fortuitously one was for a dog and the other for a cat.
So what do these two examples reveal. First the lost cat sign.
Its a very sorry tale. The cat has been shaved except for his head and feet, has few teeth and apparently answers to the name Sputty. The state of the cat is bad enough but the most worrying thing is what this says about the owners. Why do they think this cat has just disappeared [their term]? Isn't it obvious that with a name like Sputty and in the state it is in - bald and toothless - that the cat has not just disappeared. Sputty has no doubt gone to get a better name and find people who can give her/him better care. And its owners can't see that?
Now the poster about the Dog is really odd. Firstly its apparently not a dog but a griffin. Really. You thought griffins were legendary creatures with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. Not so. These people have - or had - a griffin that is just a dog.
But what a legend. This dog-griffin has written its own "Lost" notice [and promised a reward]. But reading on we find that its actually not just a dog-griffin. It calls itself Yoshi. And as we all know Yoshi is a teenage mutant ninja turtle. So this animal is really a dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle.
This dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle which - or is that who? - has written its own "lost" notice has parents [fair enough too, most of us do]. Its parents carry the unusual names of Velsha: 0403483 059 and Graham: 0401715167. Presumably that's their clone numbering system.
Yoshi dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle writes that he/she is a diabetic and needs his/her medicines. He/she wants us to ring Velsha and Graham.
But why is not made clear. Perhaps its to tell them we've seen this message that Yoshi dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle wrote? That we've seen his/her picture [actually not a really good one]? To say hi, and that your dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle does a good line in "lost" signs?
This animal is smart. Not only can it write and hang up signs but this Yoshi dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle, according to the note he/she wrote, went "missing" at 3 pm on 21/3/07.
Very precise. But think about it. This dog writes it own signs then disappears. This isn't a lost dog - or lost dog-griffin-mutant ninja turtle - sign. This is a farewell sign.
My guess is Yoshi's gone to his/her legendary planet if for no other reason than to get its diabetes medicines. If we see the sign that's what we're supposed to tell Velsha: 0403483 059 and Graham: 0401715167.
Of course we could also tell them and anybody else that until recently we had an alien living amongst us.
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