Once they used to have hours and minutes in Moorabbin just like everywhere else.
And just like everywhere else they had 60 minutes in one hour and 24 hours in a day. Except of course when the days were very long. Then they would add an extra hour. If the days were short they'd subtract an hour. But that wasn't unusual - that has always happened.
Shortening the days mostly occurred in school holidays. This was even - or especially - in summer when daylight was being saved - which should have resulted in more not less hours in the day.
Nobody thought this was odd, however, except some of the cleverer children. And they never pointed this out to anyone - especially not their parents - because they were polite as well as clever and didn't want to embarrass them.
The people who lived in Moorabbin might do sport for half an hour, watch TV for 6 hours a day or shop for 12 hours but whatever they did was always measured in hours or parts of hours (minutes or seconds for example).
At school children had one hour for lunch and 15 minutes for recess. The teachers had the same amount except they always said they had none. Some people said this meant teachers couldn't tell the time but others realized that it demonstrated that the 60-minutes-in-an-hour-and-24-hours-in-a-day system just didn't work.
In fact when people thought about it they realized that there were lots of these inconsistencies. An exciting football match always went quicker than one that wasn't so exciting; a good book could be read really quickly but a boring one the same size always took longer; a shopping trip took much longer for children than for parents and Christmas eve was different in length for everyone with the youngest finding it very very long indeed.
After a while though (actually after a very long while) a sort of shorthand was introduced.
It started with people saying things like "get ready for school now because we are leaving in 5 or 6 minutes" or "Feed Lucy because we're going to have our own dinner in 5 or 6 minutes" or "I just have to go to the shop. I'll be back in 5 or 6 minutes" or "why don't you read a book for 5 or 6 minutes".
Using this shorthand meant that everyone knew exactly how long something would last but despite this obvious benefit for quite a while (actually quite a long while) the two systems were used.
But this new one was such a good system that gradually everyone in Moorabbin found themselves using " 5 or 6 minutes" instead any other phrase to measure lumps of time. And when someone did say something like "I'll be home in half an hour" other Moorabbin people looked at them oddly or even said they didn't understand what they meant.
So after a further while (actually after a very long further while) the people in Moorabbin decided that in future they would only ever use "5 or 6 minutes" for every lump of time.
Some people thought the new system wouldn't work but the more they stuck to their decision the more the people who lived in Moorabbin knew it was the right one.
With everything taking 5 or 6 minutes there were never misunderstandings about how long something would take or how long someone had been doing whatever they said they'd been doing.
Teachers and children had the same length lunch hours (yes they still kept some of the old words); nobody was ever too long in the bathroom, nobody got up too early, watched TV for too long or talked on the phone too long.
Buses and children were always on time and children spent as much time as they ever did on helping their parents or tidying their rooms. Importantly they all agreed on how much time should be spent on tidying [five or six minutes] and how much actually was spent [five or six minutes].
People living in other suburbs sometimes used " 5 or 6 minutes" also but never adopted the Moorabbin system completely. They thought the people in Moorabbin were very clever to use the same phrase for everything but because these others weren't as clever they stuck to their old-fashioned ways.
They did find though that the people in Moorabbin sometimes didn't understand them so some special arrangements were made.
Foe example the weather bureau had a special Moorabbin forecast. The forecaster would say things like "In Moorabbin it will be raining in 5 or 6 minutes or it will be sunny in 5 or 6 minutes."
As they were always correct this suited the people in Moorabbin very well. This correctness was further proof that measuring lumps of time in 5 or 6 minutes was a very good decision.
They couldn't understand why everybody else in Australia didn't take up the idea at least for weather forecasts. Didn't everyone want a correct forecast?
Another good thing about the Moorabbin system was speed limits. Moorabbin people always drove at 5 or 6 minutes per kilometre which meant the roads were much safer there. But despite this people in other suburbs kept to their old-fashioned speed limits.
Another special arrangement was made when sport was played with people from other suburbs. Moorabbin children played each half as well as the whole game for 5 or 6 minutes. This meant that they didn't tire so easily and always won. That was no fun for anyone so a special Moorabbin handicap was introduced.
In both team sports and individual competition Moorabbin players now always start 5 or 6 minutes after their opponents.
All these changes improved life in Moorabbin tremendously and because there are no longer any disagreements over things to do with time people in Moorabbin are much happier and also healthier than people living anywhere else. That goes for their dogs too.
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