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Tellus: The Legend of the Shadows
Drasson Dandelions in a Breeze
by H Williams on Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 11:23am
Following her death, every morning when he opened his eyes he found himself in a world he no longer recognized. Her death had changed him and in turn it had changed his world. His home lay in ruins. He had been defeated. The Seers had predicted his great victory against his enemies for he was the Field-Marshall, Champion of Draconia, but it turned out those witches had tricked him.
"What good is the title 'Champion' when the Kingdom I serve and the woman I love are nothing but smouldering ashes?" he sighed. "I was raised first and foremost to be a servant to my wife and the Guardian of my Kingdom. As they lie dead, so must I follow them..."
Felix looked down from the ledge he was standing on at the river currents raging violently beneath him. He was there because he had the desire to jump, a desire that was burning up inside him and moving him closer to the edge. The call was hypnotic. Yet, he was afraid, because he felt he had no control over his actions now. Instinct was all that was telling him he was ready to jump and call it all a day.
As he closed his eyes to take that final step a voice inside him screamed at him to stop.
“The life we covet” the voice explained, “ultimately seems to define who we become... Felix”. “At this present moment the life you seem to covet, wants you lying at the bottom of this river”.
“I want to jump!” Felix screamed at the heavens above him.
“Why?” the voice in his head replied calmly. “To die?”
“Yes. To die with dignity. My honour and pride intact” He replied calmly.
“What dignity and honour is there in suicide?” the voice asked.
“It is my choice. This death is my choice.” he said through gritted teeth.
“Your choice?” the voice repeated back to him. “You truly believe that what you have ever desired has anything to do with your free-will?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, is it your choice to fall in love or desire an object? To form that connection with something or someone?”
He went silent, realising that his answer was no.
“Felix, it is circumstance and not choice that defines desire. Remember that.”
“And this pride at the centre of your quest for happiness...do you believe that if your desires are not met that this idea is hurt?” “How can you hurt an idea, when it is incapable of feeling?”
“It is not the idea that hurts. It is I that hurt.” Felix replied angry.
“From physical pain, brought on by what?” the voice asked.
“Failure.” he replied softly.
“And so, your pride is hurt.” The voice said.
Felix realised that the voice was right.
“Voice, how do I move on beyond this pain that I feel everyday?” he pleaded.
“By embracing freedom, rather than depend on your own strength”.
“How do I embrace freedom?” he asked puzzled.
“Have faith and you will find your path.”
When the voice went silent, Felix felt as though a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. The dark shadows no longer circled around him or clouded his vision.
What was he doing on that ledge? Who was he trying to please? He felt embarrassed standing on that ledge. It was time to climb down to safety and walk home. He shook himself off and made the journey back home.
He needed to find his purpose again. Re-discover his art and find healing from the wounds he now knew were not the end of him. There was no shame in being wounded. In fact, it takes courage to seek healing.
* * *
Felix stood on the pier he had avoided for so long, his long grey coat flapping in the strong winds, looking out into the merciless sea that had claimed his wife all those years ago. The voice had told him to travel here and let the wounds of the past heal.
He held a bouquet of red roses in one hand. He gripped them tightly with his gloved hands and held them close to his chest, to protect them against the savage winds. His tears had dried up. He was no longer physically able to weep for her loss. The news of her death had come as a shock to his system. The flame of their love extinguished in a matter of seconds.
Her heart had screamed at her to spread her wings and visit the new world in that god-forsaken ship. She had always followed her heart and this time was no exception. Felix had come to accept that over the years. Like dandelions, healers always went where the wind blew them.
He recalled how upon her death he thought that a world without her love was unimaginable. But that was his reality now and had been for a few years. He could never bring her back from the dead.
The thought made him feel powerless to the forces of nature. One man against the relentless elements. The ebb and flow of the waves crashing against the pier, marking a steady rhythm, like an endless ticking clock, reminding him of the continuous passing of time.
"Time heals all wounds" he reminded himself as he threw the bouquet of roses into the sea.
"Farewell." The only word he could muster as the bouquet sunk beneath the waves.
Scores of red petals surfaced to cover the sea like a velvet blanket swirling and dancing on the waves. There was beauty in its form. The petals bobbing and circling to the silent rhythm of a waltz seemed almost hypnotic. It told him that while the concert band still played the Opera of life must continue.
© 2012 H Williams. All rights reserved.